Major anxiety about my son’s operation!! Need reassurance please!

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My son will be 3 next week and is due have his tonsil and adenoids removed and grommets put in his ears next month, I am terrified I am making the wrong decision and afraid he might die

the reason he is having it done is, his tonsil are so big and he has regular infections, constantly congested and talks through his nose and has speech delay and hearing loss due to glue ear.

there is always a chance he could outgrow all of this, but it effecting him now, I am so tempted to cancel the operation.

He is my rainbow baby, and I just want to do the best for him but I am so so scared 😭😭

It sounds as if you’re doing the right thing for the right reasons - both processes will improve his development and later you’ll be pleased you did it. They must do lots of these procedures and I’m sure they’re relatively straightforward, but speak to the consultant beforehand and tell them you’re worried so they can reassure you. They are so gentle with children in hospital and it’s all over and done with extremely quickly. It’s understandable that you have some doubts, though.

It's quite understandable that you are anxious OP. It's very stressful when your child has to have Surgery and what is a very routine happening for the staff is a big deal for parents. I was really stressed the first time one of my children had to have an operation and I was an experienced Consultant Anaesthetist at the time. Even though I knew exactly what was happening I was really anxious and it's even worse for parents who aren't familiar with the procedures.
But to put it into context, the risk of a healthy patient dying during a routine procedure is something like 1:100 000. Like most Anaesthetists I went through my whole career and never experienced that, the only patients I ever had die during surgery were very, very sick before we started and were having emergency surgery to try to save their lives. And even those were very few in number. Modern anaesthesia is very safe and your little boy will be monitored very carefully throughout and will be looked after by highly trained staff. Obviously nobody can give you any absolute guarantees but it really is incredibly unlikely that he will die or come to serious harm - you probably do things every day, like taking a car journey, which carry a higher risk, but because those are routine parts of life we don't really think about them in the same way.
If the ENT surgeons have recommended the procedure for your son they clearly believe it is in his best interests. When I was a child tonsils were removed at the drop of a hat (I think I was unusual amongst my school friends to still have mine!) and even when I was a junior doctor we used to have whole theatre lists of nothing but tonsillectomies but those days are long gone. Nowadays there are strict criteria governing when the operation should be offered and if the surgeons didn't feel it was genuinely necessary I am sure they wouldn't be recommending it. I can't pretend that it's going to be an enjoyable experience for either you or him - nobody likes having medical procedures and I think it's even harder when it is your child than yourself- but you're describing some quite significant problems so try to focus on how much better things will be when they are dealt with. The staff will do their best to minimise the stress and discomfort for you both and hopefully you'll see real benefits in the long term.
The Royal College of Anaesthetists website has lots of information for patients and their families which might help you prepare for the day, and you will get the chance to talk to both the anaesthetic and surgical teams before your DS goes to theatre so don't be afraid to ask questions. It can be helpful to write down what you want to ask as it's easy to get flustered and forget stuff when you are worried.

www.rcoa.ac.uk/patients/patient-information-resources/information-children-parents-carers

https://www.rcoa.ac.uk/patients/patient-information-resources/patient-information-leaflets-video-resources

My daughter (5) had hers done this week (minus the grommets) it has been surprisingly good.
Went in at 7:30 and left the hospital about 1:30.
She's hardly had any pain at all.
The biggest issue I've had is convincing her to take the antibiotics and entertaining her at home because we've been told not to mix with other people for a week.

I had my tonsils removed at 14 and if I could have turned the clock back and have them removed at a younger age I would do. They were removed ahead of me starting my GCSEs as I was missing too much time off school, I was having tonsillitis upwards of 9 times a year with at least a week off school some times two as I needed a second course of antibiotics.
The recovery from the tonsillectomy was on par with a bout of tonsillitis. I got a post op infection that made me throw up for a few days but otherwise I recovered ok

I have had this operation myself, as has my daughter. It’s a very minor operation, nothing to worry about at all. However, my parents delayed it so I have permanent hearing loss and I had a life threatening ear infection in the bone. There are risks in not having the operation too. Also, it will be impacting language development.

Bless you, it’s understandable you worry as we all do as they’re our precious babies. It’s a very common and routine procedure. You’re not doing it for fun, you’re doing it because you want him to have a better quality of life. He’ll be constantly getting infections and sore throats and all that goes with that and that will be no fun for you or him. Once this operation is completed have a new lease of life. Definitely a needs must.

My 1 year old is having this exact procedure this weekend op. I’m nervous about starving her beforehand when I can’t explain it to her and how unsure she will be with everything going in, but 100% know we are doing the right thing because of the issues it is all causing her.

I don’t have a fear that she might die, but maybe because I myself have been on the table 3 times in the past 5 years so I feel more assured.

Sending best wishes to you x

OP, I felt precisely as you do now, when my three year old had her tonsils and adenoids out at 3years 4months old. However, once the healing was done, she has never looked back and it has been full steam ahead for her since then. She was constantly sick for twelve months before the op and had 18 rounds of antibiotics in those twelve months,

I hope this helps.

Thank you all for your kind words and reassurance! I will keep you all posted and let you know how it goes, it’s on the third of September, @IocainepowderI hope your little ones op goes well and will be thinking of them, X x

UPDATE

my son had his operation on Thursday and all went well! We got out the same day and he is doing well. He is in pain now and again but we are keeping up with pain medication. Now let’s hope we don’t get any complications x