Poo withholding rant

[ChickalettasGiblets]

Feeling like I need to get my feelings out into paper so to speak, I’m absolutely at my wits end with my 5YO DD and her poo withholding.

Just finished day 3 of 7 of a movicol disimpaction regime because she hasn’t been for a poo for over a week. She just flat out refuses to go and I feel like screaming because nothing works. Not praise, punishment, being gentle, shouting, presents to encourage her - nothing!!! We can tell she’s uncomfortable but she just will not go for a poo. I don’t understand how she can hold it in after all that movicol!!

we have seen a super helpful nurse who we will see again in 2 weeks, ERIC have also been really helpful and we’ve followed all of their advice to the letter but nothing works. It’s 100% psychological because her diet is very good (loves her fruit and veg). No SEND issues either and no major life changes. She’s a very headstrong girl (like her mother according to my mum!!)

I suppose I’m just looking for is some solidarity and positive stories that it gets better!!!

I don’t have any advice sorry but I’m in a similar boat with my two year old.. she holds her poos in and recently didn’t go for 7 days. Has your DD always done this? Just wondering if I’m in it for a long haul!
sorry I can’t help and I hope it improves for you soon 🙏🏻

Have you been to the GP? I know you’ve seen a nurse but she may need a doctor.
If the disimpaction regime was prescribed by the nurse, this means she suspects fecal impaction. When this happens, the child isn’t withholding poo or refusing to poo, they literally cannot poo. They may get a bit a mucous poo discharge, but that’s not an actual bowel movement.

I would not wait 2 weeks. You’ve done 3 days of laxatives, no bowel movement in a week - she needs to be seen by a doctor.

Fecal impaction isn’t psychological, it’s physiological and you don’t need SEND or trauma to cause it. It can happen even if the child is well nourished and hydrated.

How is your daughter @ChickalettasGiblets?

It can start off psychological but absolutely becomes physiological. The chronic constipation causes the bowel muscles to weaken. My daughter was the exact same. She’s still on a daily laxative now at 10 but only one sachet a day. We’ve been through many a disinfection regime and dealt with sooo many poo issues. You need to be under your continence team for support. And follow through with the disimpaction regime all the way. If she gets diarrhoea, it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily all out; it could just be overflow. I feel your pain but it’s not just your daughter being stubborn, there is always more to it. What helped mine was being allowed to have her iPad on the toilet to distract her

Thank you all for your replies ❤️

She is ok now…we got to day 5 and she finally went…and went, and went 😵‍💫 god knows how she was holding it in! She was definitely withholding because she was wiggling and making loads of noises like she was uncomfortable all the time, plus mega grumpy! We did see a doctor initially who prescribed the movicol when we did the first disimpaction last year, she’s been ok until this last couple of weeks and I’m not sure why we regressed. I did wonder if school finishing had the change in routine was the cause.

Currently on the maintenance dose now as per the advice from the continence nurse and ERIC, and we will see the nurse again next week. Her dad and I are following the advice of not nagging her about going, I think this does help when you just let them get on with it! @ivy621 no she wasn’t always this way, but I think a couple of times she went and it hurt and that’s what set her off initially

Here for the solidarity. It’s rubbish.

Hidden benefit, her pelvic floor muscles must be epically strong.

Mine used to withhold too- it was a mix of psychological and physiological. As she got older, she realised that holding onto the poo didn’t make it go away. I don’t think she realised this when she was little. This realisation definitely helped her understand she had to get it out but I’d still catch her withholding if she was panicking it would hurt. She would have sooo many accidents from overflow, I used to have to carry spare clothes with me until she was around 7/8. It can take years for the bowel to go back to normal so don’t stop the maintenance dose. Like i said, mine is still on it aged 10. One sachet a day and she is fine if she misses the odd day but if I ever try and stop completely, she gets constipated again so I’m not sure how long she’ll be on them. She is completely fine though by now - no accidents or issues at all. There is light at the end of the (very long) tunnel!

Hi, came on looking for some support and have gotten a lot of reassurance that I’m not alone going through this with my son. He is four and is a chronic withholder, he literally NEVER pushes by choice and he essentially leaks poo all the time. It’s utterly horrific. He starts school a year in September and I’m petrified this won’t be solved for him. Feeling so disheartened and worried 😞