Toddler facial scarring

[Ali2015]

Hi.

I have a 2 year old who was playing at a friends house, and fell into the corner of her metal table which was at a funny angle.

it was a deep cut. I went to a&e and they glued it and it’s an ok job but as it was so deep it’s left a bright red indented line in his eyebrow.

I feel so awful about it. I saw the hazard and was about to ask my friend to move the table and next thing I know it has happened.

Whilst I know these things happen at the moment it’s really quite visible and I’m so worried about how it might impact his life.

if it was less deep I’d probably be much less worried, I do wish it had had stitches as I think the end result would have been more subtle.

I did meet with a plastic surgeon to discuss but as it’s only just happened he said it’s very much a case of watch and wait. He felt they did a good job with the glue so here’s hoping

Aww thanks. I know it’s common to have these things happen and hopefully it’s something which will just fade.

tbh I’m not even bothered by other people’s scarring think it can look quite cool I just think when I see my son’s scar I see a time I failed to save him!

Its a mum thing

I’d say it will calm down and you will also get very used to it. My two kids were born with severe cleft lips and had a lot of surgery, leaving obvious scars - I only see the scars now if I look at them in the rear view mirror in the car, it’s amazing how used to scars you get.

so, with kindness, a scar ont he eyebrow line will not impact his life at all.

I had a pretty serious facial injury as a child with a very deep cut that took a long time to heal and now as an adult I have an extremely light dimple in the area when I smile but that’s all, nothing that anyone who didn’t know would notice. Even if for some reason he did have a scar, lots of people do and it will not affect his prospects or life at all :)

Aww thanks so much. I always think cleft surgery is so clever. I know a few with clefts and with the surgery these days I find it barely noticeable

Thanks so much so helpful. It’s more common than I think really, so many kids end up in scrapes!

My son got a similar scar at the same age. He cut it on a safety gate at nursery of all things.
He’s 20 now and it’s never bothered him in the slightest. He used to call it his Harry Potter scar when he was at school, but even then you could hardly see it. Now they’ve all got those stupid llama haircuts his fringe covers it and you can’t even see it.
i know it feels like the worst thing in the world right now, but it’s honestly never bothered him at all.
i really had to search through photos to try and find one where it’s visible, just above his left eye (right as you look at the photo)

Ah yes I can see - his adds a bit of character! made me laugh with the llama hair cuts hahaha. Xx

My ds while out with his df(exdp) and gm(exmil), slid out of a chair and his toddler glasses left a gash going from the inside corner of his eye almost to his hairline, narrowly missing his eyebrow. He has a very long and narrow scar now that isn't red at all but is dented in. He was I think around 2 years old.

I'll be honest I'm still a bit salty about it even though he's 11 now. I feel like his perfect beautiful face wouldn't have a scar if I'd been looking after him, so I understand why you might be worried. However, accidents happen and I realise this is a wholly unreasonable stance to take and don't hold it against exdp or exmil. It also doesn't bother him in the slightest. He doesn't get called Harry Potter either.
Tbh his hair and glasses mostly cover it. You can only really see it if you're looking for it

It was on my watch so I feel guilty but would probably feel the same if it was on someone else’s watch. It’s that mother instinct you just wanna protect them. I’m sure your little boy is gorgeous x x

Baby skin is so resilient. One of my children had a major hip surgery at that age - huge puckered scar etc. I mentioned their scar to them the other day and they said “I have a scar?” I looked and sure enough you can barely see it if you don’t know what you’re looking for.

Just worry this is the beauty of stitches but I have read some great glue stories so here’s hoping!

Thanks for this x

I’d say that if they glued it they felt it wasn’t deep/serious enough to warrant stitches

We were in France a few years ago with our friends, their 4yr old fell & cut her chin badly by the swimming pool, blood everywhere & pretty deep. They took her to A&E and I assumed it would be glue all the way but they did stitches there & then they had to hold him down for the local anaesthetic and for the stitches- I was pretty shocked by this!

I’ve had spinal surgery with a 6 inch scar and it’s barely noticeable now, it’s a very faint silver
i have the before and now pics and they’re so so different (can share if it helps!)

Thanks so much - it’s the fact it’s glued and indented that bothers me. I know it’ll fade massively colour wise, it’s more the depth of it I worry about

I wish ours had been stitched is the trouble. In the uk they glue everything really under 5 just because it’s easier basically - they aren’t thinking about the aesthetic aspect of it

Op you have presumably been reassured by the thread

now I’d hide thread and stop thinking about it. It will improve and chances are - completely disappear

Here you go

I do need to stop thinking about it the level I have been thinking about it is not healthy.

It’s the fact it was so deep that really worries me, but as there’s nothing that can be done it’s a waste of energy to be focusing on it so wholely x

My DS has had a wound on his head glued and has had stitches in his knee, and they do eventually fade. You might be left with a small scar, but it’s likely it will be barely noticeable. I’d recommend using kelo-cote gel on it, it’s pricey but does help to reduce scarring.

Not sure if it’s helpful but I had similar worries about my youngest after an injury. It made me feel better to use silicone scar gel. He doesn’t have a scar thankfully and I’m unsure whether it made any difference to the recovery but it made me feel like I was doing all I could.

Was yours indented though? My toddlers was particularly deep and looked a bit indented but I hope you’re right!

Was this actually a glued or stitched cut?

That'll fade to nothing in time. I doubt plastic surgery would even do that much to improve it would it?

Ok now you really seem to be giving yourself permission to obsess about the indentation. This is starting to sound like rumination. In addition you are rather clearly displacing your feelings of anger and upset onto the medical team for choosing not to stitch which you (incorrectly) think is some kind of cheap, cost saving, decision.

Take a very deep breath and sit with the fact that your new baby no longer has “new car smell” and has a small scratch.

This is inevitable—as we grow we bump, bruise, dent, and scar. Sometimes it will be your fault. Sometimes his. Sometimes just fate. Do you love him less? Obviously not! Will friends, family, and strangers love him less? Is that, deep down, what you think? Is that what you were told as a little girl?

Bring these negative thoughts to a conscious level and spend a little time acknowledging them and then practice a little gratitude that it was, in fact, quite a minor incident. You will feel better if you focus on his safety and happiness rather than your own feelings of powerlessness and anger.

On the subject of glue not stitches I recently had laparoscopic surgery for cancer. They glued all the incisions shut. That wasn’t done because they are cheap, indifferent, or incompetent but because surgical glue is a great invention which it made sense to use. This is also something to practice gratitude for. You will feel better if you do.