Tonsilitus related disagreement again

[elliejjtiny]

Ds3 (aged 14) was staying with inlaws at the weekend. MIL took him to school this morning and told us he had tonsilitus "again". I looked in his mouth this afternoon and as usual when MIL claims he has tonsilitus his tonsils are a bit red and swollen but nothing major, no white patches or anything. He has a sore throat and a bit of a cough so I said he probably had a cold and have him paracetamol. He is eating/drinking normally, fairly cheerful etc. Now he is saying that shouldn't he not go to school with his "tonsilitus" and asking me why he isn't having his tonsils out because he keeps getting tonsilitus . I used to get tonsilitus all the time and it was much more painful than having my tonsils out. I was always really ill with it and has to have a week off school each time. I am fairly certain ds3 has never had tonsilitus in his life but each time MIL insists he has it I doubt myself. I'm a bit worried I'm neglecting him by not keeping him off school and not taking him to the gp and insisting he has his tonsils out but I honestly think he has just had colds.

I had a raging temperature with tonsilitis and had to alternate two painkillers to get it down. I was in bed for a week with it at that age. So I'd agree with you I think, probably a cold. The white spots are quite distinctive.

I think you are being neglectful (from a mum who has a child who had a tonsillectomy). The need for a tonsillectomy is much more than just having inflamed tonsils. What are his tonsils naturally like? Is he a mouth breather? What his sleep like?
just take him to his GP, It’s not that hard is it?

OP is neglectful for not wanting her son’s tonsils unnecessarily removed? I’ve heard it all🤣 You do realise that (although common) it’s quite a risky surgery? Bleeds happen far more than you think and can quickly become life threatening. My own DD had hers out aged 17 - it was a terribly painful recovery and we ended up back rushing back to hospital with bleeding on day 2.. She has had major spinal surgery, been in ICU etc and still maintains that a tonsillectomy is the worst thing she’s ever gone through. Certainly not to be taken lightly.

If OP’s son is well enough in himself to go to school etc then I am willing to bet that these aren’t proper tonsillitis episodes - it’s just a cold. DD developed chronic tonsillitis when she was 16, it gave me a whole new appreciation of how awful an illness it is as she was practically bed bound with raging fevers and could barely eat or drink due to the pain. This is certainly not OP’s DS!

Yes, I remember many years ago that I had to look after a neighbour's DD because her older DB had to be rushed back into hospital following a tonsillectomy.

There’s two types, viral and bacterial. Think you get white spots with the bacterial one - I get that and it’s sudden onset of shivering, temp of 40 and a throat that is dripping in pus!
they don’t really like removing them now and I can’t remember what the threshold is, it’s quite high amount in x amount of time. I’m sure they said if tonsils are removed then people are more prone to other stuff like chest infections but that might be bullshit!

Criteria for removal is strict nowadays - you have to have had 7 confirmed (ie seen by GP, treated with antibiotics) cases in a year in order for tonsillectomy to be considered

His tonsils are normally fine/barely visible. He's not a mouth breather. His sleep isn't great but that's because he has adhd, he doesn't snore or anything like that.

I had tonsilitus a lot as a child and then had them out aged 10. I remember tonsilitus being horrendous, way worse than when I had them out. If my MIL hadn't said anything I would have confidently said he had cold but she is making me doubt myself.

Not exactly the only criteri, there’s more here:
https://www.albert.uk.com/fileadmin/user_upload/Uploaded_files/tmp/david_albert/david_albert_doc/sign_quick_reference.pdf

All very subjective. I’d bring to GP for a professional to assess and to remove all doubts

@Raindropsandroses123 what kind of gp appointment should I get? The automatic message on the gp phone line says please only use the same day appointments for genuine emergencies which I don't think a mild sore throat is. But if it's not an emergency then it a 2 month wait to see the gp and the sore throat will be long gone by then. We would also have to go through the receptionist triage before getting an appointment as well, who is likely to redirect me to the pharmacy for a packet of strepsils.

Don’t say ‘mild tonsillitis’ to the receptionist, that’s for the GP to say. Ask for an appointment
to review inflamed, sore red tonsils. Depending on your surgery and child’s age they may refer to a pharmacist but that’s ok. Keep doing this as the episodes occur so it’s recorded and they you will eventually get an appointment based on that. Otherwise go private which is what we did but that wasn’t because of NHS priorities etc, we just have private health insurance for the kids and prefer to use that.
To add, the pharmacist can do more than just giving a packet of strepsils. They can be independent prescribers and prescribe if needed. They will write a report which will be sent back to the surgery.

I’m not saying it’s neglectful for the OP to not request surgery. That’s common sense surgery is risky. I’m saying it’s neglectful to not bring the child to a GP if it’s a regular occurrence and she has made a very subjective assessment. There’s no harm in taking a child to see a GP to remove any doubt. She is doubtful enough to be writing this post.
To add, there are different degrees of tonsillitis. Some more severe than others.
And finally, clearly OP is not that well informed if she can’t even spell tonsillitis properly.

Personally I would call pain that can be fixed with paracetamol as mild, needing ibuprofen as well would be medium pain and severe pain would be pain that wasn't helped with alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen. Although when talking to the gp receptionist I would describe it as pain that is well controlled with paracetamol to avoid confusion.

Look, do you want a GP assessment or not?
If you do, stop dampening down the problem and making it sound like it’s a non issue. If he’s in pain taking regular pain relief than it’s subjective to say he’s not in pain. I didn’t have any pain relief during labour, does that mean I wasn’t in pain?? Of course not!
Of course with this subjective idea then you won’t be seen. Clearly your child is uncomfortable and making comments to wanting his tonsils out, so I would get him seen by someone. You are trying to validate your bias opinions. Let the Gp make their own assessment, not you. And if you come up with the same conclusion then all is good. And if not, then you have done the right thing by getting him assessed.

That's a bit of a nuisance. Probably a same day one then. We contact our surgery via Accurx and they get back very quickly.