15 year old breakdown, intrusive thoughts, OCD

[Mun2]

My DH took everyone out yesterday so I could organise some stuff. He was going to do something fun so I was surprised that my oldest Ds said that he had homework to do.

Not long after they left he came to me the kitchen and basically broke down in tears, he has been having obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, they won’t leave him alone. It’s been going on for 5 months, he hasn’t been happy for one day.
He keeps seeing signs when he is outside. He is over analysing his dreams. He has bitten his nails all the way down and has been pulling out his hair. In school he can’t concentrate and writes all over his hands. He told me he wants me to take him to the Drs he needs tablets to make it stop.

I gave him a cuddle and told him it’s ok, thank you for telling me. Don’t worry. He is in bits. It started with a health anxiety, he thought he was going blind, as I found out that a family member got diagnosed with Ushers syndrome. But he said he’s not thinking about that anymore, now it’s switched onto other stuff.

I found a phone line that he is going to call later on when it opens, I’m going to speak to the GP tomorrow and we have been watching YouTube videos about OCD, intrusive thoughts etc.

How else can I help him?

Bump

A friend’s dd was diagnosed with OCD last year- contamination OCD.
She was in hospital for 2 weeks and then discharged under the care of a psychiatrist and on Setraline. She is doing really well, is aware of her triggers and knows she will be on medication for at least the next year.
It’s really difficult but it is a major step that he has told you.

sudden onset OCD and intrusive thoughts can be PANS/PANDAS-
worth a look. Sertraline has good results with OCD/intrusive thoughts. Sending hugs, it’s awful seeing your child go through this.

I’m worried for his life basically. The way this came out of nowhere and the way he is breaking down when discussing it.

He doesn’t want other people to know the full extent but has told his dad about the stress of it. He doesn’t even want to play on the Xbox which is shocking. He told me from Monday it has been worse.

I looked at PANS/PANDAS and I do t think it’s that as he doesn’t have the other symptoms.

What happens if someone has to go to hospital for a couple of weeks, what do they do?

My friends dd was hugely stressed- hadn’t slept for a number of days. They really took care of her, reassured her that they would help her and most importantly she met other young people with similar experiences so she no longer felt so alone.

I'm so sorry that you and your son are going through this.

It's actually a really positive step that he has told you about it. OCD often seems to make sufferers try to hide the fact that they're having problems.

My daughter was diagnosed with OCD at 15, but had been having problems (secretly) for a long time before that.

She is on Fluoxetine, which has helped, but I'm wondering whether sertraline (both are SSRIs) might be even more effective. Be aware that high doses of SSRIs are often recommended for OCD (i.e. higher than the standard doses for, say, depression), because lower doses may be insffective.

The OCD-UK website has a lot of REALLY useful info (it's a charity).

A specific form of CBT called ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is recommended for OCD. It's been very helpful to my daughter, although it's been a slow process. The OCD-UK website has more info on this and on how to find a therapist.

I got this book for my daughter on the advice of her therapist - it may be helpful to your son.

It's important for them to understand that this is an illness which a lot of people have, and there are ways to get better from it.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1843105748?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

Hi op, fellow mum and ocd sufferer here!

It's great he has opened to you about it all, you sound like a great mum ❤️.

I would suggest going to his gp for referral to mental health services, particularly CBT which can be very helpful for ocd.

There are also self help books available, I would recommend Imp of the Mind and Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive disorder.

Forums such as OCD UK and OCD action can also be a useful tool for your son.

In regards to treatment, CBT and antidepressants are often used together, although given his age medication should be approached carefully.

The best advice I could give as someone who was diagnosed at 17 is remember thoughts are just that, they are not a reflection of who you are.

I would also recommend looking up 'magical thinking' in regards to his health anxiety.

If you would like anymore advice please feel free to message me.

My dd has suffers from ocd and intrusive thoughts, I honestly thought we would never get through the horrendous time we were having. It lasted years and got worst and worse. She was put on sertraline at 16 and it’s worked amazing. I think the reason it got so bad as I didn’t want her taking antidepressants at a young age. Knowing what I do now I wish she would have started on them sooner as they really did give her a life back.

So the Drs gave me an appointment for next Wednesday, which seems so far away. He has already had a breakdown this morning saying the thoughts are strong and he wants them to go away, they are constant and never ending.

I found the number for cahms in our area online and it said you can self refer. When I phoned them they said it’s a 6 month wait?!

How does this help a child who is in the grips of a crisis?

Unfortunately our mental health services are in terrible crisis themselves, especially children's services. My friend has been going through exactly the same issue with her 16 year old ds, she's had to pay for private treatment for him, they were told a 12 month wait on the NHS!! I'm so sorry you and your ds are going through this.

Hi, how long did it take for the medication to work and did she have to stay on it long term?

Hi, GP is a great start for sertraline/SSRI. He needs to get some therapy with a specialist eg psychologist not a counsellor typically who has experience with OCD. You can check out the NICE guidelines but it includes ERP (exposure response prevention) as mentioned above. The book "overcoming intrusive thoughts" by Winston et al is good. OCD-UK charity website is great and BBC has some podcasts. if you can afford to go private so you don't wait 6 months I would (it sucks).

I started suffering from severe OCD aged 11 after the death of a family member. It was awful. I'd have rituals I would need to do for hours every night or I was convinced someone else would die. I had intrusive thoughts constantly. I would tap every item in my room 64 times, check door handles, windows etc. My parents back 30 years ago didn't believe in mental health and just took the piss out of what I was doing.
I still have OCD now in my 40s but I've been on sertraline for 10 years which has really helped and I've FINALLY been accepted for CBT so fingers crossed. I'm so please you're willing to help your son.

She’s been on sertraline now for four years, she tried to come off it a couple of years ago but the OCD came back as bad as ever. We ended up having to take her to the crisis team as she had lost a lot of weight. She couldn’t sleep or eat . They worked within two weeks. She now says she will never try and come off them again. Honestly, I can only speak for her but they have made such a difference and given her her life back. ❤️

Hi op,

So sorry that your ds is experiencing this. You must be so worried for him.

I agree that you handled his opening up to you perfectly, and that you sound like a great mum,

I’m going to say something now that is controversial and I have no medical training whatsoever so please feel free to ignore. My only qualification is being a mum of dcs, one of whom went through two to three years of mental ill health consisting of intrusive thoughts, depression, health anxiety, and ARFID.

First, please know you are not alone. Parents don’t talk about these issues but teenage brains are going through a period of massive plasticity which can result in quite a few teens experiencing mental health issues. And adolescence is often a time when mh disorders come to light. So please know that what you and your ds is experiencing is fairly common.

My advice would be to get your ds on sertraline under the guidance of a psychiatrist who specialises in anxiety disorders in teens, It was transformative for my teenager when they needed help, even though I was against them taking medication so young. Frankly, I was wrong.

And then get him to see weekly
, a private, licensed psychologist who deals with adolescents and anxiety disorders. You might need to try a few before you find someone whom your son likes and trusts. IMHO, their personality is key; they need to be solid, with a sense of humour, positive and not afraid to challenge thoughts fairly robustly. Someone with some life experience who will encourage your son to relax, to cool it, to understand that no one is “normal”! And to give himself a break.

This is all going to be expensive but sell your car or a kidney if you have to. It will be worth it.

And here comes the controversial bit; obviously take the advice of a psychiatrist over a random person on the internet, but be very wary of allowing your child to go to a youth psychiatristic unit.

Obviously, for certain diagnoses such as schizophrenia, that might be the correct course of treatment. But the mh services are so massively run down that your son might be placed far away from you. And there is such a demand that many of the hospitals become emergency holding stations for the most badly affected teens where treatments are more about containment than therapy. Obviously there are exceptions to this but be aware that the system isn’t great,

Imho, if your home environment is stable and loving, and the source of your son’s problem isn’t a family relationship or some other issue at home, then a loving home is a far better place for him to recover rather than mixing with other teens who are depressed and sometimes suicidal. You need to be really careful at this point who your ds is friends with and what he is watching on the internet.

Basically, your son needs your love and your time and imho if you and your dh can take time off work to spend with him one on one then even better,

Concentrating on his sleep, his screen time, his food, and the amount of exercise he gets and getting those basic elements right will be helpful, As might be spending some time out of school. It depends, keeping busy at school might he good for him too?

What is his lifestyle like now? Does he get outside enough? Eat plenty of fruit and veg and protein? Does he sleep at least eight hours a night? He basically might just need a year out, with all academic pressure off, to mature in peace. Even if psychotherapy per se doesn’t help, just having a trustworthy person to talk to who isn’t your parents can be very helpful, as can the fact that everyone is rallying and making special efforts and sacrifices to get him better, because that demonstrates love and support and that everyone believes in them,

Once your ds feels able, could you and your dh accompany him on long bike rides or going swimming? Get him out of his head? Or would he benefit from getting a dog if you don’t have one? How about something creative? Carpentry? Art? What does he enjoy doing? Keep him busy.

Also, don’t forget to get him assessed for potential ND.

Finally, very important op, get yourself some support. Talk to a wise friend who can keep confidences. Make sure that you and your dh eat well and get enough sleep and exercise too. Don’t follow your teen so far down the rabbit hole of anxiety that you get worn down and depressed yourself. Your ds needs you to be functioning, loving and optimistic, and he needs to know that once he passes through the relative misery of adolescence, that being an adult can be fun and has its advantages. Give him something to strive for and show him by example how to lead a balanced life which includes doing enjoyable things.

To that end, once he is feeling a little better, you might take him away. Give him a change of scene, Push him gently to do some different things that are challenging like hiking or gentle rock climbing to help him get his belief and confidence back in himself.

Good luck. 💐

Thank you for your post.
I am fearful of medication just because I don’t know how he will take to it and if he would have to be using it forever.

I spoke to camhs crisis team yesterday and 111 as the appointment next week is too far away. They told me to push for an emergency appointment at the GP and phone first thing in the morning.

I’m pushing my son to go to school tomorrow as I don’t want him to just become housebound. He went outside today and said the thoughts are so much worse when he is outside. But the thing is he is breaking down at home so the thoughts are everywhere.

I have taken his phone away as a lot of his thoughts were validated with YouTube videos. He would search for certainty or see a thumbnail on a video which would make him have intrusive thoughts.

I’m going to speak to the school tomorrow as-well as today I told them he was ill but didn’t really say why.

You are right to be concerned about the long term effects of ADs and how he will come off them when your ds is so young. Sertraline is a difficult one to come off but it’s not impossible if you do it very gradually under medical supervision,

However, the effects of being housebound and missing school at his age could also be quite significant so hope you can see the gp asap.

Good move about the phone and good to keep pushing him to go to school once you have spoken to them, as imho, it doesn’t help to stay housebound. He may need a “safe” code word that he can text you, to which you would respond urgently, or a “safe” teacher that he can go and see when he is in a panic.

I once spent three days parked outside my DD’s school so I could be on hand when she needed me, when she was going through a very bad patch of anxiety, it seemed to reassure her and never got as bad again, but the meds also helped and she is now a thriving young adult, travelling long distances by herself.

I think there is a long term ongoing thread on Mumsnet for parents of dc with anxiety, let me see if I can link.

I’m afraid that I can’t find the particular thread I was thinking of but there are lots of posts under the child mh board which might be useful to you op.

Maybe this one?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/child_adolescent_mental_health/5203506-antidepressants-in-uk-for-14-year-old

Sending strength 🌷

DD3 has OCD. Beware that often CAMHS have very set pathways. DD3 couldn't leave the house, couldn't leave her room easily, couldn't interact, but they wanted her to wait for a group therapy remote course before deciding if she needed individual CBT, before deciding if she needed medication. Each of these has their own waiting list.

She was already on the NHS ASD waiting list and was assessed and diagnosed, with a recommendation to assess for ADHD.

In the end, I found a CAMHS consultant psychiatrist who also does private work and paid for an assessment. He assessed, diagnosed OCD and prescribed sertraline. Then a few months later, assessed for ADHD using the QB check and his ongoing assessment of DD3. She's now on ADHD medication too.

She's finally leaving the house and her intrusive thoughts have lessened.

I work with young people (a bit older than your son) and it is surprisingly common. Usually the first port of call is urgent GP appt, and they may prescribe sertraline - it can be a bit rocky adjusting to it for the first 2-3 weeks, but it’s usually well tolerated for anxiety disorders and conditions like OCD (I took it while breastfeeding, for example).

GP should refer to CAMHS but they are very stretched, so if you can go private just to get a diagnosis plus some help from a psychiatrist direct, then it’s worth doing (you need a psychiatrist initially rather than a counsellor, but then a counsellor as well, including therapies like CBT, are also very helpful).

His school may well have dealt with these situations many times before and should be able to be helpful with adjustments, possibly in-school support if they have it available (many schools have a lot of experience with anxiety and OCD-type conditions, especially if they also have pupils with ASD/ADHD support services, as there are some overlaps). They should be able to give him eg. rest breaks, a teacher he can talk to if needed, a quiet room.

Sending you and your DS all good wishes, OP.

We went to the GP this morning and sat there for about 30 min whilst he told her everything. She was very caring and asked lots of questions, I had to stop myself from interjecting and let him do the talking. I wanted her to get the full picture.

I was waiting for her to suggest AD’s but she didn’t she said she will make an urgent referral to CAHMS and that she will see him next week to do a one week review. I said to her but what about now what if he gets worse and she told me to phone 111 or the crisis line, but that they only really deal with people that are a danger to themselves or others.

I don’t want it to get that bad.

Then I walked him to school, the whole time he was begging me to not let him go. That yesterday he wanted to run out.

If I can be specific now to try and see if anyone else he dealt with this, my son had health OCD he thought he was going blind then he thought he was getting Alzheimer’s that went away and now he thinks he is seeing Christian signs everywhere. He doesn’t believe in Christianity but he thinks that signs are coming to him. If he sees a cross on someone’s neck he starts to think is this a sign. But now he is feels compelled to look at everyone s neck outside and will feel anxious if he can’t see if they are wearing a cross. He said in class a thought came whilst he was writing that if he wrote neater it would be because of Jesus so he stopped writing.

He daydreams and wonders if it really happened. He thinks what if he doesn’t become Christian then he will go to hell. I said to him look at Christian writings at pictures, I don’t care if you become Christian. But he has an actual fear of looking a Christian symbols. He says everything is what if what if.

Does anyone have a suggestion for a private therapist that specialises in OCD and
Exposure therapy please.

I don’t know how long CAHMS will take and I’m scared he is going to end up bedbound. He has stopped being able to eat and has zero desire for anything.

Honestly, if the GP doesn't suggest SSRIs then I think you need to suggest them to her. Perhaps phone the surgery and leave a message for her.

And yet you are afraid of medication? I would be far more worried by this sort if thought process. Medication can save lives and he is seriously unwell. I can’t see how any amount of talking it out is going to help.

The Psychology Today UK website will let you search for private therapists in the UK. It has a lot of filters: you can select OCD, ERP, Online, Available, Teen (this is particularly important, because a lot of therapists only treat adults). There were about 420 possibilities in England based on these selections when I tried it.

Online therapy will give you the biggest choice of available therapists (and sounds like a good idea if he has trouble leaving the house).

Check out the OCD-UK website for details of what to look for in a therapist and how to find one. Bear in mind that anyone can call themselves a therapist.

I would recommend https://www.thespecialistocdclinic.co.uk/ but it's pricey.