DD is overweight - how to respond

[FeelinTwentySixPointTwo]

My DD, 10, is overweight and I'm torn as to what, if anything, to do about it at this point.

She was born on the 91st centile and has tracked it throughout. She is tall for her age and "big" all over - eg she has size 6 feet - but has just started falling into the overweight category for BMI.

She is very active and we couldn't really add more activity into her schedule. We walk everywhere as a family and weekends are very active too. During the week she does sports out of school (dancing, cross country running, swimming and cycling). As my username suggests, I'm a runner so she has grown up with sport being the norm.

As a family, we eat healthily and desserts tend to be yoghurt and fruit if we have them. We don't have takeaways and don't really have unhealthy snacks in the house. Her issue is portion size. She's always hungry and will frequently want seconds. If we say no she'll cry and say she's still hungry. We offer healthy snacks and try to get her to fill up on protein etc but it's the sheer volume of food she wants to eat that seems to be the problem.

For context, me and her dad are both slim, as are her siblings.

I'm stuck as to whether this is something that needs tackling now, before she turns into an overweight teen and adult, or if she might slim down when she hits puberty.

At the moment she appears very unaware of the fact she's overweight. We don't discuss weight, don't make it an issue, and she's not remotely body conscious. Ideally I'd like it to stay that way but I know things can't continue on this same trajectory.

Some people do just have a bigger bone structure so I wouldn’t rely just on weight or bmi. Does she have visible fat is the question and is there a lot of it? Being a little chubby at that age is not a big deal as they are still growing but if she is visibly very overweight then that is something to talk to the gp about. Whatever you do don’t go putting her on diets or have her eating low fat foods as that will give her a complex and diet foods as usually full of crap that destroys your microbes and makes you more likely to put on weight. My mum has a complex about food as her mum told her she was a “big girl” - her mum was naturally about a size 6 and weighed about 7 stone so my mum being a 10-12 and weighing 9-10stone was fat in her opinion. My mum in her late 60’s still won’t accept that she is at a healthy weight, has low self esteem and is constantly obsessed with dieting - she and her sister started smoking as an appetite suppressant in their late teens too. Just be careful about what you say as that can stay with someone for life.

My daughter has always been in the 90 percentiles for bmi - I asked the gp about it and she said looking at bmi was nonsense as she is healthy and clearly just has a heavy bone structure plus is quite muscular for her age. People are always shocked when they lift her as she is a lot heavier than she looks. Her dad would be overweight according to bmi but is actually at a very healthy weight for his build (no tummy or fat) - I joke that his family must have lead bones. Main thing is not to limit healthy foods, just sweet foods and avoid ultra processed foods entirely.

if you use the bmi calculator on the nhs website for kids it gives you a centile rather than the bmi number adults get.

I remember being overweight in year 6 aged 10, I’d just started puberty, it wasn’t that I was eating unhealthily, it was the start of breasts growing, I put on some fat and felt pretty uncomfortable and annoyed at the whole thing!. Once I’d had a growth spurt in first year of secondary school I was back to average weight again so I wouldn’t panic yet.

What centile is her height, and does this match her weight centile?

Has she had her thyroid checked? If everyone in your family is slim I would be exploring health issues.

I wouldn't make the weight an issue, but her always being hungry is a concern. There could be health issues behind it. If she is really uncomfortable eating normal portions, that it something I'd like a doctor to look at.

As silly as this sounds, I didn't know what centile she was on for height as I'd just done the NHS kids' BMI calculator online which told me she was 93rd centile and therefore overweight.

By height alone - based on the red book chart - she's on the 95th.

The advice here is very helpful though. It seems I should definitely hold off on doing much about it aside from keeping up the healthy eating and exercise, as she may well be heading for another growth spurt.

Dd was like this. We focused on more water, veg and protein in her diet. It has really helped. She is tall and has size 9 feet so was never going to be petite. We also never talk about weight but do emphasize being strong and fit. She is very into sports now so this is helping. She no longer has any fat on her and is toned but still "sturdy" feel this is better than flabby or flaccid iykwim.

Hopefully it’s puppy fat before a teenage growth spurt but if you are worried you could ask the GP to check for Type 1 Diabetes.
I have a relative who got a bit uncharacteristically chubby at this age and diagnosis followed.

You do also need to tackle the tantrums for seconds though. Aside from the fact that she’s a fast eater so she’s not actually still hungry, it’s quite an emotional overreaction to be crying about it. Considering how many people have issues with emotional eating and point to it as a cause for lifelong obesity struggles, I would want to be addressing this as a priority.

I would put a firm end to seconds but explain everything to her, including eating quickly and the brain needing time to register that you’re full. Remove the emotion from it. It’s just health/nutrition, there’s always another meal, nothing bad happens when you’re a little hungry and if she waits and has a glass of water she’ll find she’s not hungry anymore anyway. Since you’re an active family you can talk about the importance of listening to our bodies in both food and exercise. Anything to distract and reframe so she’s not getting so worked up and emotional about food and eating.

I would say wait and see too, it sounds like she’s eating healthily and exercising so denying her food if she’s still hungry could make things worse. Children do put on weight just before they go through puberty so she is likely to have a growth spurt over the next few months.
My DD is 10 and has size 6 feet too, she is about 5’3” and definitely still growing, she fits adult size 6 clothes. She eats more than me most days.

I agree. She’s not hungry she just wants to eat more.

Shes old enough to understand it’s not healthy to keep eating more than you need all the time.

My DD was chubby at that age but she’d tracked her centile for years (91st for weight). When she hit 13 the weight fell off her as she gained height rapidly.

I would definitely not say anything as the last thing you want is for her to develop an unhealthy attitude to food or her body. Most likely, things will work themselves out on their own.

FWIW you sound like a great mum running her around to activities, encouraging sport and healthy eating. You haven’t over reacted to her hunger or weight gain.

Keep an eye on it and back yourself - sounds like you’re doing a great job.

Is she getting enough high quality protein?

This is especially important at breakfast, as it will sustain her, and help regulate her appetite better?

I have a very tall (95 centile) daughter too, she also eats huge amounts - her dad is 6’6 so it figures!

I recommend 2 eggs and sourdough toast plus fruit for breakfast. our current favourite is an omelette as it’s so fast and easy.

Mine also love fish fingers for breakfast!

Check if the foods she has are whole foods? Minimally processed meat (we avoid nitrate ham, cheap sausages, etc)

Sourdough bread only, you can get sourdough crumpets and bagels too now

I really commend you for figuring it out for her now, if she can remain slimmer in childhood it will help her immensely as an adult x

Don’t reproach yourself for not knowing her centile OP. The only reason I know is that my DD has regular hospital appointments for a long term health issue. So her height and weight are checked at each visit. I asked the consultant about her weight in the chubby phase and he said there wasnt any problem because she’d stuck to her centiles for years. Then at 13 she actually lost weight while also growing upwards rapidly… and the doctor told her very firmly that he didn’t want to see any more weight loss!

Long story short, almost certainly your DD will hit puberty and the puppy fat will drop off her.

Is she getting enough high quality protein?

Possibly not as she sometimes tries to be fussy; but what I don't do is give her beige food or snacky stuff when she complains.

An example from this week - over the past few days she's happily eaten chicken noodles; haddock risotto and spag bol but she was a bit grumpy about black bean tofu so ate round the tofu pieces.
She hasn't had loads of Easter eggs (as a pp asked) and would rather fill up on "proper" food, but just lots of it. With the spag bol, for instance, she finished her bowl quicker than the rest of us, had another big spoon of bolognese and then would have eaten more if we had let her.

I think we struggle a bit with high-protein snacks if we're on the go as carby things (fruit, cereal bars etc) tend to be easier to travel with, compared to yoghurt and so on.

M daughter was chubby at 10 she’s hates the photos now she’s 14 and tall and slim. No difference in what she eats

If she is eating really quickly she won’t feel full so may end up asking for seconds then - can you give her a glass of water with her dinner and ask her to “eat politely “

can you just not cook so much so “sorry there are no seconds “ “we haven’t got many snacks in as I’m trying for save money for the holiday “

My eldest dd and my son got a bit chubbier looking at that age despite having healthy diets and exercising alot. They then went through puberty and shot up in height and it all came off.

OP my DD piled on weight at 10. We aren't a tall family so I knew no big growth spurt to come so I'm going to admit I was horrified(I'm just being honest). She then started her periods at 11 and in the year since the weight has come off. I actually bought her a pair of shorts recently in a size smaller than she wore last year, she also walks to and from school and does dancing so I knew it wasn't lack of activity. She also does have broad hips like my mil and needs a bra as she has well developed breasts so I'd say it was just her body shape starting to develop.

Noodles, rice and pasta are not filling. They're just converted into sugar= spike = hunger

She needs more protein based main meals.

She'd be better off with chicken in a creamy sauce, veg and baked potato.

Start all meals off with a high protein soup: lentil and veg is good.

It's a funny age, especially for girls. My niece wasn't overweight as such, but at 9/10 years old we'd have probably called it puppy fat. Definitely carrying a bit extra but not hugely overweight, just pudgy.

2 years later, puberty kicked in, she grew upwards almosr overnight. She's now 15 and I'd hazard a guess at a size 8-10 in clothes.

You see it in boys too, often just before they shoot up a foot overnight.

Same. I'd come home from school and eat 6 or 8 slices of buttered toast. A full meal 2 hours later. Then a pot noodle and Crisps before bed. Hardly healthy I know, but I was skinny as a rake.