DD is overweight - how to respond

[FeelinTwentySixPointTwo]

My DD, 10, is overweight and I'm torn as to what, if anything, to do about it at this point.

She was born on the 91st centile and has tracked it throughout. She is tall for her age and "big" all over - eg she has size 6 feet - but has just started falling into the overweight category for BMI.

She is very active and we couldn't really add more activity into her schedule. We walk everywhere as a family and weekends are very active too. During the week she does sports out of school (dancing, cross country running, swimming and cycling). As my username suggests, I'm a runner so she has grown up with sport being the norm.

As a family, we eat healthily and desserts tend to be yoghurt and fruit if we have them. We don't have takeaways and don't really have unhealthy snacks in the house. Her issue is portion size. She's always hungry and will frequently want seconds. If we say no she'll cry and say she's still hungry. We offer healthy snacks and try to get her to fill up on protein etc but it's the sheer volume of food she wants to eat that seems to be the problem.

For context, me and her dad are both slim, as are her siblings.

I'm stuck as to whether this is something that needs tackling now, before she turns into an overweight teen and adult, or if she might slim down when she hits puberty.

At the moment she appears very unaware of the fact she's overweight. We don't discuss weight, don't make it an issue, and she's not remotely body conscious. Ideally I'd like it to stay that way but I know things can't continue on this same trajectory.

At that age my ds put on a load of weight then had a growth spurt so hopefully that will be some of your issue.

If she's eating sensible portions of healthy foods and exercising then I'd be thinking there is something 'wrong' tbh - gut bacteria, insulin resistance, that type of thing.

Has she had many courses of anti biotic? You could work on improving gut bacteria without her noticing. For anything else you'd need a gp or to monitor her blood sugars and I would worry about how she would perceive it.

Sorry, my reply assumed you don't give in to the crying for more food but you probably do which is hardly unreasonable.

Could you cut the snacks and make meals much larger but focus on fibre rather than protein?

Could she be thirsty?
Maybe get her to have a large glass of water before her meal. If she's hungry after eating maybe there's a lag on the sensation of 'feeling full' again, offer a drink and to wait 30 minutes and see if she's hungry then.
I wouldn't deny her food, but maybe she needs a bit more help in recognising satiety? So, no to seconds, but if she's still hungry affect a little while she can have something else to eat.
She could well be fuelling up for a growth spurt.

Does she eat quickly? Sometimes your brain takes time to realise how full you are.

My mum always used to put a big jug of cold tap water on the table as sometimes also hunger and thirst feel the same.

Did you think about introducing a “soup starter” at main meal? Having a bowl of stock-based vegetable soup eg consommé with noodles, or minestrone, can be very filling.

The recent weight gain that has tipped her into overweight / BMI is likely the normal weight tweens of both sexes put on ahead of the onset of puberty, including the teen growth spurt heading toward adult height. Tweens who are about to start the growth spurt are often ravenous.

I'd just make sure she keeps up her sporty lifestyle and healthy diet, and even though her body shape doesn't match the family profile, I'd make sure she never gets the feeling she's the odd one out or that her body is a problem.

You could get her into women's rugby or football, but swimming is an ideal sport for bigger girls. Steer clear of sports that are body conscious, where only those with slight frames and figures can stand out (dance, gymnastics).

I would just watch and wait for now. It's likely that she's put on a bit of extra weight due to impending puberty. She may shoot up in height and get slimmer, although actually physically lose any mass.

Besides water at the table, have her wait 20 minutes before the second serving (give the brain time to realize it’s eaten) and cut back slightly on that portion.
Chances are a growth spurt isn’t far off.

DD1 was overweight at age 10 for the year 6 healthcheck. During year 7, she grew and grew and grew and she went back to her normal tall slim self. She is in her early 20s now and is still slim.

Do obviously keep an eye on her diet. Be in the lookout for signs that she is being given or buying sweets or crisps.

If your DD is not preparing for a growth spurt, and hasn't got any unknown health problems, then it is likely to be too many calories. Would you be able to write a food diary? Can you fill her up with more veg and pulses?

Is she still on 91st?

I wouldn't get into BMI for a child without a chat with the doctor.

Just keep an eye, I expect in a month or so she will suddenly shoot up.
Keep up the exercise and healthy diet

I would agree don't get into BMI or centiles, are you weighing her to get these stats ?

It seems she has a healthy diet and exercise routine so watch and wait as other posters have said

Is she actually overweight or just broad? A broad body is going to weigh a bit more than a narrow one, even if it's not carrying extra fat. BMI isn't a perfect tool, I'd use common sense to decide whether there is actually an issue before deciding to do anything.

If she looks like she's carrying extra fat, I'd monitor it for now. It sounds like her diet is relatively healthy and she's physically active so she may just be gearing up for a growth spurt. If her weight doesn't even out you could look at only allowing veg and protein as seconds after some of her meals. You wouldn't need to make a big deal about it, just a 'sorry there's no more pasta/rice/etc. but there's loads more broccoli and chicken left if you'd like some?' I think it's easy to fall into the habit of overeating fat/carbs but harder to overeat veggies.

DD2 put on weight around 10 - I was worried - then she shot up put on serious height - and everyone nodded and suggetsed her periods had started - but she was same as older sister and it was 12 well into secondary - about 20 months after noticed the weight gain.

The drinks before meals and keeping on eye on what she eats and excerise amounst aren't a terrible ideas - what I surreptitiously did - but for all the worry it was just how she grew. She the tallest of all of my DC nearly 6ft and is very thin still.

I had noticed this time of year older two did eat more and put one weight this time of year but DD2 was much more noticable that time.

She might shoot up, but if she’s eating big portion sizes and seconds, it’s unlikely to even out even if she does.

OP as well as protein, what is her fibre intake like? Something like chia seeds in yogurt and increasing other fibre may help her feel fuller.

At her age just before beginning puberty, I would eat 7 slices of toast for breakfast on particularly hungry days. I put on huge amounts of weight and used it to shoot up for a massive growth spurt.

Totally normal to be ravenous at that age. If she's not had a problem with overeating before, I would ensure she has enough water and supply healthy food for her. I wouldn't make it an issue, everything will likely even out.

This is all really useful, balanced and sensible advice - so thank you. I do appreciate it.
Water at the table is a very fair point as, although she always has a glass of water with dinner, she often drains it quickly and I don't always consciously refill. Speed of eating is also certainly an issue.

I only know she's overweight now as she had to be weighed recently for skiing (being fitted with the skis). I don't weigh her otherwise and she doesn't see me weigh myself either as I'm very conscious not to make weight an issue. By these calculations she's now on the 93rd centile , so just above the 91st she was born on.

I would honestly focus on healthy eating and activity first and foremost (which it sounds like you are doing). They are the tools she'll need to live a healthy life so put all your efforts there.

Is it seconds at every meal? I cook for 5 of us, me, DH, ds1 18, dd 16 and ds2 10. There’s rarely enough for seconds for any of us as I tend to cook the right portions. (I have to watch our food budget carefully). Could you maybe reduce how much you cook so there’s less chance of seconds each time? Maybe she’s less likely to ask if she sees less food left over? And if she does say she’s still hungry, offer an apple / banana?

I'd leave it for now but keep doing what you're doing and make sure she's not spending pocket money on food. My DS got quite podgy in year 6 & 7 as unbeknownst to me he was stopping at the local shop before & after school everyday buying rubbish and he had a mate with a very generous allowance that seemed to cover the both of them once my DS's money ran out.

One other thought it introducing a more french way of eating (also touted by an IG women glucose goddess or something) you could just say you've been reading about it and like the idea. So for example before your evening meal, you have a starter of salad or something like asparagus. It's meant to be good for insulin levels, a starter will also introduce a natural break / rest and may help her feel full sooner. And not so good for insulin levels due to sugar content, but earing a piece of fruit as a start breakfast and definitely making sure she's fully hydrated and insist everyone has a glass of water with each meal (blame the warmer weather)

I saw something although it was aimed at reluctant veg eaters where they had the parents put raw veg on the table as the kids were waiting for their tea so and they found they would snack on this . Would she perhaps do this and this would fill her up a bit before her actual meals and perhaps prevent her wanting a second portion.

Also does she ever help with the cooking - if she was involved in the prep she might see how much they suggest as a portion without you making a thing of it.

My son weighs his pasta and it was a shock to me just how much my doing it by 'eye' meant I was massively over portioning

I'd make it so there isn't seconds - if there are leftovers you could put them into tupperware and put away so they are not 'available' for dinner. We recently got an air popping popcorn maker. DSC love it and plain airpopped popcorn is a healthy snack and takes them ages to eat so it keeps them busy and not asking for other seconds/toast etc.

If she's eating very fast then her brain won't have registered that she's full. Maybe focus on slowing that down.

I guessed she would be 10 before I opened the thread.

It's most likely her pre-pubertal weight gain - her body needs to store the supplies to enable her to begin puberty.

This is very common at this age, and part of the reason I disagree with children being weighed in Year 6 - it's the wrong time.

Let her grow into her weight. See what happens after puberty and if necessary manage it then.

What centile is she on for height. This matters.
She is not massively overweight and as other have suggested, at her age just keep an eye and make some of the suggestions on here so as not to make an issue out of it.
See how it goes over the summer and then review.

It sounds like she's plenty active what about upping protein - what does she snack on?

Tbh my kids were both 91st gentile at birth its not a measure I've followed for years is it still relevant at her age?

Did she have many Easter eggs at Easter? Those things are lethal. I think they use oil to shape the shells. My littlest dd has just come out of the Easter holiday and suddenly looks a bit overweight. I’m trying to offer her more fruit and get her out more now the weathers improved