2 yr old Witholding Poo and Daily Laxative Cycle - a living hell!

[Emmiejenkins]

My question: How can I persuade my 2 year old to poo sitting down?

The background:
My 2 (and a half) year old son:

• has a milk and soya intolerance
• is on a mix of 2 sachets of laxido and 7.5 mg of picosulphate every day
• still becomes impacted regularly due to an enlarged rectum
• struggles to get to sleep due to needing a poo
• is still withholding poo and openly tells me he hates pooing

After 3 months of new medication and diet, the specialist has now told me that we now need to concentrate on the psychological aspects of this problem, and that as soon as my DS realises it is easier to poo sitting down, things will get easier!

The issue:
Understandably, my DS does NOT want to poo ever. He will only go outside in the garden and will often hide behind trees to let everything out. He is absolutely terrified. He'll happily sit on the toilet for ages but I can see that he's actively still holding his poo in. He even wriggles around to keep it from coming out.

What he needs:

• to be sat down when he poos so that he can experience it as pain-free (to break the belief system he has in his mind)
• to have his knees above his hips to make it extra-easy (unfortunately, I can only create this position for him when he's on the toilet)

What I've already done to try and help

• Bought all of the books under the sun about pooing
• Bought numerous potties which are now discarded, as I'm unable to get his knees high enough when he uses them
• Bought a special high ladder/ stool so that when he sits on the toilet, his knees are positioned higher than his hips
• Bought a comfortable toilet seat
• Sat with him on the toilet for 10 minutes after every meal
• Bought stickers, new toys, privacy walls - I've been through variations of everything to try and create an environment where he feels safe to poo
• Used screen time and chocolate as bait - to no avail

I'm at my wits end. Does anyone have ANY advice AT ALL about how to explain to a 2 year old that if they just crouch when pooing/ sit down when pooing it is easier?

Thank so much!

We had the same problem and it lasted on and off for a very long time (until she was just over 4) I will still give occasional laxatives when I notice she hasn’t been for a few days and we very occasionally still get tears on the toilet because she is scared

couple of things that helped - allowing her to poo in nappy instead of on toilet, felt like we were going backwards with potty training but was better than constant bits in knickers from withholding

as she’s got older bribery has also helped - sticker for every poo on toilet, prize after 10 stickers etc

it was honestly one of the most stressful parts about parenting so sending solidarity and it will get better eventually!

Hi OP,
For my child (7 years old, largely non verbal autistic) it's bribery all the way.

His natural routine is for his body to try to go after school/evening. When I see him with-holding it is "poo poo on the toilet then ipad". Also at any other time I see him either withholding or skiddy so I know he needs to go I do the same.

If your child loves anything enough to motivate them then I would go for it and say "poo poo then ipad/mummy's phone/kinder egg, whatever".

While this won't win me any parenting awards it is a lot less stressful than when he wouldn't go to the toilet for increasingly prolonged periods. With the bribe he goes from with-holding to jumping on the loo and pushing.

For your little one at the moment I wouldn't even worry too much if his poo is done on the toilet or in another preferred place. Once you can get him pooing then you can worry about where he does it.

We have this problem with grandchild who is now 5 . Grandchild was diagnosed with Coeliac last year and the situation has very slowly improved. GC had been on Movicol for years and was literally going days without pooing. GC usually now poos with pull-ups on at bedtime.This is when GC feels safe .It’s all so problematic,rules our lives ,aware of judgement from others , but now occasionally actually poos in the loo.Really difficult for the child and parents. They have tried every trick in the book.