Supporting siblings of children with illnesses & special conditions

[BobBobBobBobb]

My dc (7) is beside himself about an operation my dc (15 months) is about to have. She has a tethered spinal cord and is having it untethered, along with a few other things as well. In the past few days my 7 year old has been extremely ill tempered, cross, sad, throwing things - all behaviours I've not really seen in him before. He says he's worried about his sister's operation and is 'worried that she might die'. Are there any good resources that I can use that might help him? Or any tips for how I can support him through this (whilst being pretty scared myself)?
The op is this week so I'm not sure I have time to get hold of any books but I will try.
He's been watching operation ouch on CBBC which has been helpful.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts or recommendations x

I have found that talking things through helps both mine, the one with a health condition and the sibling. Really basic "what happens next" stuff about going to the hospital, seeing the nurse, going into theatre, recovery, when visitors will be allowed etc. Being armed with facts is very useful. It might be worth asking the hospital if the play team have any suggestions. We have had them act out scenarios with Lego before, which was useful.

Also simply agreeing with him that it IS scary will be helpful - it's perfectly reasonable for him to be worried, and you're all in it together.

I hope the operation goes well.

I'd talk it through, and don't try to downplay his feelings - the instinct is to say she'll be fine and not to worry, but he is worried. Lean into the outbursts; acknowledge he's having a hard time and you are too and it is scary but you and the doctors are doing xyz to make sure she is safe. And then plenty of exercise. Get out and get him running and jumping and biking. Will release some endorphins and burn off some nervous angst and energy. Best of luck to you all.