Bloody Nappy 18 month old daughter

[MissElis]

I have an 18 month old daughter.
Healthy weight
No health concerns
Born via c-section at 39 weeks due to being oblique

My 18 month old has had three nappies with blood in. No poo. Only urine but blood. Bright red blood then dark brown blood.

Strong smelling urine.

Keeps spiking a temp of 39 that doesn’t go down with calpol. It goes for a bit, then it comes back. She’s having night sweats up to the point I have to change her bedding because it’s soaked with sweat.

Her stomach is bloating. She’s gone from napping for 40mins-1hr to napping for three hours.

She pulls at her private bits and I think when peeing.

Her urine smells and instead of doing bits of wees throughout the day, it seems to all come in one big go like she’s holding it in.

I have kidney issues. I take medication for recurrent UTIs. I have scarred kidneys and history of stones.

She’s started with reflux as well but don’t know if that’s related.

She has a doctors appointment this afternoon but what do you think they will say? I want her kidneys checked.

We are supposed to be going to a very remote place tomorrow in the highlands. No hospital for three hours. So now I’m concerned.

What do you believe doctors will say? Will they want further tests?

I wouldn't be surprised if they found a uti. My daughter started having them at 2 years old and has been found to have duplex kidney.
Try to bring a urine sample with you to the Dr appointment in a clean plastic container and keep it in the fridge right up until you leave the house.
The only thing that doesn't fit with a uti is that she doesn't do lots of little wees. But I bet they'll ask for a urine sample anyway, so try to bring one with you.

Sounds like a really bad UTI or even kidney infection. I don't think you can be isolated for the next few days.

Sounds like a severe UTI (nurse here). Definitely don’t take here anywhere as remote as you’re suggesting. She could deteriorate quickly

Do you think they’ll suggest any other tests? I’m really anxious because of all my kidney issues that I’ve passed something onto her. And I know my husband won’t cancel the trip by my suggestion. It’s a 8 hour drive up and once we are there the closest hospital is 3 hours away. Do you think the doctor would suggest to not go as well? He’d listen to the doctor.

Do you think they’ll suggest any other tests? I’m really anxious because of all my kidney issues that I’ve passed something onto her. And I know my husband won’t cancel the trip by my suggestion. It’s a 8 hour drive up and once we are there the closest hospital is 3 hours away. Do you think the doctor would suggest to not go as well? He’d listen to the doctor.

I don’t think we should either. Closest medical facility will be three hours away. My husband won’t take it from me though. He never sees that. I’ll ask the doctor for his opinion and if he suggests the same, my husband should listen.

I sounds awful for her poor thing. It does sound like severe UTI and/or kidney infection - make sure you tell them about your kidney issues as that may well mean that they order more tests.

I would not be going on holiday with a child that unwell, apart from the fact you may need emergency care a 8 hour car trip whilst unwell would be miserable - ask your DH if he'd like to travel that long whilst feeling dreadful. Just refuse to go.

Just tell him to go on his own if he's that desperate to go.

If my daughter was peeing blood I would already be in the hospital, not posting on Mumsnet.

So yeah, absolutely not to going somewhere remote. She likely has a severe kidney infection. This is urgent, I would go right to A&E.

The fact that your dh won’t listen to you is very concerning. Do you have any support at all outside the relationship?

I called for medical advice straight away. I was told to see a GP as it would be quicker than going to our local a&e. I got our appointment (the earliest available) and posted here while waiting.

I have a chronic health condition myself and have had to cancel a lot of things because of being in hospital or poorly. So he’s had a lot of cancellations. We aren’t in a good place at the moment and I fear it’ll just top him over the edge.

my family are great. Very helpful and would never even doubt cancelling something due to health concerns. His family and him are very different.

You sound very beaten down. I am so, so, sorry. But for the sake if your dd you are going to have to armor up and be prepared to fight, I think. Take her to A and E if you can’t get an immediate drs appointment. This will help you prepare the ground with him that the situation is serious.And be prepared to bring her home to your parents house if he is going to browbeat you about after are issues. An 8 hour drive is absurd with an ill child in the first place let alone 3 hours from the hospital.

No number of previous cancellations is relevant here. The universe isn’t constructed to reward him for previous (perceived) losses. He may have missed out on something fun 20 times before and he will still have to cancel his (stupid) plans in an emergency.

Thank you for this. It’s been tough recently. He basically gave me 3 months to make things improve and the cancellations stop but I can control my own condition as much as possible but I can’t stop her from getting ill. I know it’s awful to cancel a holiday you’re looking forward to but in my head, she comes first. Always. Maybe it will be different if we are cancelling for her than it is when we have to cancel for me as he dotes on her.

we’ve got an appointment in an hour. Got the earliest I could. A&e here, the kids wait is 16 hours currently. So GP was quicker and hoping if she needs it, they can refer her in.

Honestly he sounds heinous. It speaks volumes that you anticipate he’d rather go off-grid than care for his daughter’s medical needs. Are you sure you even want to fix things? He should be supporting you if you’re unwell not putting you on notice.

Dr was brilliant. Said she’s definitely got a UTI. Prescribed some antibiotics because it’s the weekend but said we need to try and get a urine sample to make sure we’re getting the right antibiotics. Said not to travel because a UTI can cause quick deterioration. She could see DD was tender to touch and feverish, despite seeming happy and playful. DH threw his phone and disappeared once he found out. Obviously not the reaction he should be having :( but I feel trapped. Feel like he’s sacrificed a lot for me so I have to fix everything. Such a horrible position to be in.

Good work. It's not on you to fix things because there is nothing to fix - your joint child is sick and needs to be able to access medical help if needed. The best outcome is you miss your trip and don't need to go to hospital. That's a win.

You don't need your husband's permission. If you don't want to take your poorly baby to a remote location, don't. If he insists on going, tell him to go alone.

Glad you managed to get in the doctors. It’s a bit worrying he’s not more concerned about his child. He can go on his own if it’s that much of a problem.

Actually tell him to go and stay there for a while for god's sake.