Choosing to stop breastfeeding at 7 months

[Kathleen995]

Hi everyone

My second son is now six months old. We’re very fortunate in that I was able to breastfeed him very easily from birth (same as my firstborn) and it’s been a very smooth journey with no issues whatsoever. My supply has been great and my baby is thriving.

However I am going away (abroad) for 3 nights at the end of May and return to work in the middle of June, so for this reason have started introducing formula over the last couple of weeks, which has been going great and he is sleeping better than ever (usually through the night with the occasional 2am wake). The aim is to have him on formula altogether by the time I go away at the end of May. I stopped breastfeeding my eldest at 8 months as was returning to work the following month.

The thing is, I’m starting to feel really split about the decision. On the one hand, I feel really relieved that the “burden” of breastfeeding is off me, and that I can get by body back again. But I also feel really guilty about not breastfeeding him for longer. I have to return to work when he’s 9 months as I’m on SMP and it’s been a huge strain for us all surviving on my partner’s income. But I am returning to a male dominated office, and I don’t really feel comfortable having to take myself off somewhere to pump my breasts.

As I said, I also feel partly relieved to have my body back (as it were) but the guilt comes from the fact it’s been such a smooth journey, my supply has been amazing and my baby is thriving so I feel like I’m letting him down somehow by not continuing, but don’t really see how it’s possible with the 3 days away (pumping while I’m away isn’t really an option for various reasons) and my imminent return to work.

Not really sure what I’m looking for here, maybe some reassurance to make me feel less guilty about the whole thing!? Did others stop breastfeeding for similar reasons? I feel bad I’m stopping because of the convenience to me, rather than because of supply or other breastfeeding issues. Help :(

Convenience to you is a perfectly valid reason! At this age there won't be any material difference to his health (arguably, at any age!) or overall wellbeing.

Is there any reason you can't build up a supply for him for the 3 days you are away - frozen to be bottle fed. (Whilst you are away, express and dump the milk at times during the day). Then reduce breast feeding when you go back to work just to morning and evening. You then wouldn't have to worry about pumping during the day. Then it's a little more of a half way house.
FWIW, my eldest finished breastfeeding at 8/9 months quite naturally - with GP support didn't bother with formula, just plenty of cow's milk. She's been absolutely fine and no health issues.....

The issue is I’m going away with some people I don’t know very well and it’s a European city break so we will be out all day walking a lot and I don’t really want to have to worry about my boobs exploding and the logistics of pumping in public 😬

Guilty? Why? You’ve done well. I went back to work at five months and had no regrets or guilt about switching to the bottle. It’s not just ‘convenience’, but a financial necessity too. I tell you there’s many more years and issues to feel guilty about, stopping breastfeeding, which will bring no harm or disadvantage to your baby, is not something to feel bad about.

Hi @Kathleen995 - I’m in a similar position to you - going away for 3 days early May and she literally starts settling in at nursery the day after we get back - only difference is my baby 10 months old now.

1stly well done for bf this far - even if it’s come easy and naturally to you, it can be a tough slog. 2ndly wel done for introducing a bottle in preparation for you going back to work. Getting you and baby ready for some change!

Theres no right or wrong - I just wanted you to know I get that feeling. I wonder if some of it is hormonal / biological - remember in the cavemen days or whatever if you didn’t bf your child wouldn’t survive so there must be some sort of drive outside of our control that makes us feel we should continue to do it. For me I feel I’m being a bit silly because she only feeds once or twice a day anyway, she shovels in food throughout the day and would be perfectly happy with a bottle - the holiday feels like the perfect time to stop, it’s not impossible but would be a ballache for me to continue when I’m back at work as long commute and long shifts but I just don’t feel ready yet yet. At the same time I don’t want to go on until I have a toddler so I think it’s just one of those things as a Mum that you have guilt about whatever you do and even if you bf for 2 years you’d feel like you could have done longer. I wonder if a part of it is the baby phase coming to an end - you going back to work, plus all the change that brings makes the bf stopping seem harder too. Also if you’ve decided to stop at having 2 children, this may make it harder too.

As pp has said convenience is absolutely a reason to parent in whatever way you want! It’s why I’ve picked the nursery I’ve picked, why I chose to sleep train, have a cleaner, it’s one of the reasons I wanted to bf in the first place - none of those things are harming my child and if they make my life easier then I’m a happier Mum. So please don’t make yourself feel guilty about that - there’s no medals for being a martyr.

FWIW if you felt strongly about bf when you go back to work, pump and dump whilst you’re away - the wireless ones are quite discreet and you could probably get away with only needing to do it once in the actual day if you did a big pump before bed and in the morning especially if your little one has already dropped some bf. I’m sure also there are some guidelines / legislation about making sure you have a protected space to pump at work - if it’s quite male dominated and no other bf women then you will probably have to do some work to get it set up before you back to work. Just so you know there are some workarounds if that’s what you want.

I plan to take my pumps with me and pump and dump and then see how I feel when I get back - whatever you chose, you and your baby will be completely fine. You’re doing a great job.

All I want to say is well done for getting this far..I didn’t even manage to get past 2 days. You’ve done amazing!☺️

I stopped at eight months as I was back at work. I cried at the last feed - I had wanted to carry on a bit longer, just feeding in the morning - but baby got really bitey! And the thing that surprised me was that my baby did not mind stopping at all. We changed the pre-breakfast feed for a pre-breakfast cuddle.

I really enjoyed getting myself back, in the end. No more nursing bras!

I stopped at 7 months also - I had to go back to work when she was 4 months because maternity leave is shorter where I am, so I was gradually reducing because of that anyway (pumping at work was a pain!). But I had to quit altogether because I wanted to start taking ozempic. I knew it was the right time to stop but the first week I was extremely emotional about it so I know how you feel! Instead of quitting altogether you could just do one or two feeds per day, that way you won’t need to pump while you’re out and about, but you’ll still keep that little bit of bonding time. If you want to of course - nothing wrong with quitting altogether.

I have to say I’m very excited about wearing normal bras again 🤣 and no threat of leaky boobs…