HELP! My son bleeds from his bottom when he poos (UK)

[OneAquaScroller]

Please help me, I have no idea what to do for the best to stop him bleeding from constipation.

My son (6) is autistic and relies on routine, when he's with me he eats healthily and will try new foods and vegetables. He doesn't always like them 😅but he'll try and he's been doing well.

The problem is when he goes to his dad for his 3 nights with him, he lives off fast food, crisps, and sugary snacks.
He comes home to me constipated to the point that he hasn't been for a poo for 2-3 days and will be screaming on the toilet for 20 minutes, needing me cuddling him, while he throws up in his mouth and then his bottom bleeds from the poo.

I then feed him right and battle to get him back into routine, get his bowel movements back to normal, then off he goes to his dads and the cycle begins again!

The GP has prescribed my boy laxatives twice now for faecal impaction, but because it's me taking him I'm the one hearing the shaming lecture about a poor diet - not his dad!

The first day or two that my son comes back, he lashes out at me for making him eat vegetables, brush his teeth, sleep in his own bed, etc. When he's with me, we have a weekly homemade curry night together and he enjoys cutting things up for salads - you can't say he falls into the restrictive diet category!

When I approach his dad to suggest we could meal plan jointly or that I can send fruit and veg with him, he just lies and says our child says the same things about me giving him fast food and flips it all on me. Yet he's never the one raising it!? We're 14 months into a divorce and quite honestly, it feels like it's being used to make me the bad cop to our son and him seem amazing.

The GP says it's a difference in parenting style.
I've contacted social services and they say they can't get involved in parental disputes.
Meanwhile, my son is suffering.
Please. What do I do?
How can I protect my son!?

Can you send your son to his dads with some movicol or similar? At least if hes drinking a sachet of that a day he isnt going to be so blocked up. I assume the bleeding has been checked by the GP and they aren't concerned? I would guess the poo is very hard and dry, suggesting dehydration being more of a culprit than 3 days of poor diet.

Would the nasty father be up for having his son longer than three days so that he has to deal with the result of giving him a bad diet and can see the pain and suffering it's causing?

At the moment he's not bothered because white son can probably cope for three days not having a bowel movement and then you have to cope with the aftermath once he's home.

There can be no blaming you because the boy has been with him the whole time and eating the crap that his father has given him.

It might just be the wake up call he needs to get onboard with feeding his son healthy food and not letting him suffer.

Hello, thank you and worth considering, my boy drinks a lot but maybe more could still help!

The bleeding has been checked by the GP and the GP was concerned. The GP gave a full lecture to me about parental responsbilities of making sure our child is eating the right foods. I tried to make it clear that it's our situation and the father's choices.

The doctor has prescribed laxatives (Laxido), and has said it's basically the fibre missing from his diet.
It's been explained that our son is higher risk for constipation, but the first time the GP prescribed laxatives, last year, we were warned that this level of prolonged impaction could cause lifelong bowel paralysis in the developing bowels.

But 3 nights per week with his dad where it's bad diet is nearly 40-50% of his time spent not eating fruit or veg. So it's a pretty constant up and down.

It does always seem to go that I fix him, to send him back again. And the father will say to me "he was fine with me". As much as it would worry me for our boy, this might be the solution - to get him to have to see and experience what it's like for him!

Last year the GP told us that if he keeps having this impactions for so long it could cause lifelong bowel issues - you'd have thought that would be enough.

I just don't understand how no services are willing to step in, I know it's hard to 'prove' who is doing what but for goodness sake.