Hi all. My son has just turned four and for the past eight months he has had one seemingly serious illness after another. He has been hospitalised four times with stays of around one day to 4 nights each time. It is really affecting my mental health, because I am non-stop worrying about him.
For context:
- He was born during lockdown (2021). We did mix with family when allowed etc. He was breastfed if that makes any difference.
- He did not start nursery until he was 3 and a half- it is a nursery attached to the primary school that he should be starting in September. I have to say ever since he started that he has been ill constantly. He only does 3 half days a week and I can't remember the last time he managed to do a full week of that. He's mixed with kids though as when he was a baby and during the toddler years, we went to lots of groups during the week.
- His dad is a builder but got promoted in September and now shares a small office most of the time with a lot of people on site. He says they're always coughing and ill, and he seems to alwys now have something too.
- As an added complication, my son has something called ketotic hypoglycaemia, which means that whenever he is poorly, his blood sugars drop. It is incredibly stressful to manage and adds another layer to all of this.
He started nursery in September of last year, and by the end of October, he was admitted to hospital with pneumonia. It was incredibly stressful as he was very poorly beforehand and the hospital kept sending us away insisting that he was fine… But he in fact had pneumonia. He stayed a week in hospital with that, and when he was sent home he came down with RSV 3 days later, so had to be hospitalised again because of low oxygen levels. We kept him off nursery for the end of November and in December due to the high levels of flu in nursery at the time and because he had just had pneumonia. The doctors at the hospital advised that he didn't mix with all those children so soon after. He went back in January and in February he had febrile convulsions with a 40° temperature because he had the flu (Influenza A). Again, he was hospitalised because of that after having to phone 999, as he was having these convulsions. I also caught the flu from him at the same time, and I was very very ill (I very rarely get ill, so it was really bad) and I had to stay with him in his hospital room whilst also having the flu. I don't think I had any rest. He then had March off nursery whilst he recovered from the flu, and he did really well and we resumed our normal activities. It was actually a lovely month and he seemed healthy and happy. Then he went back to nursery for one week (bearing in mind it's only 3 half days he attends anyway) and that weekend he had a hypo because he started to have a sickness and diarrhoea bug. We had to go to hospital for that because he would not eat anything. He recovered from that somewhat, although has kept complaining of tummy pain for a week since and still doesn't seem to be right with his tummy.
He went back to nursery for one day, and then last Monday (so 2 weeks after the diarrhoea bug) he suddenly again had a high temperature and wouldn't eat. This went on for 24 hours and he had another hypo in which an ambulance had to come because we could not get his blood sugars to come back up and his ketones were really high. He had to stay in hospital for one night for observation and they could not pinpoint why he had the fevers as he had no other symptoms. Two days later, he started to get the sniffles and a bit of a cough and then I got the same thing the day after so this past week both me and his dad and him have been full of cold and cough. It's a really heavy head cold and I have such a bad headache with it. (it's not flu and it's not Covid). he has had this for 8 days and he does not seem to be getting any better, he's barely eating and will only eat snacks. He's been checked over by the hospital and by our GP and they just say it's viral.
Yesterday the high temperature suddenly returned, and we ended up in A&E (I did try to go to urgent care, but they said because of his blood sugar issue he had to go to A&E) and he was examined by three doctors , one of which was on the paediatric ward and they all said it was still viral. Even though this is eight days after the temperature first started went away and came back again??
He just can't seem to get well this time, and it's really getting me down and worrying me. I actually feel like I'm going crazy because I have not had any rest again and I am worrying about him all the time - he looks really pale despite him taking a multivitamin daily and usually eats a wide range of fruits and vegetables and meat. He just seems really washed out. They have done a number of blood tests on him while he's been in hospital in previous admissions and nothing has flagged up as being unusual apart from his hypoglycaemia problem, which they say he will grow out of hopefully after the age of six. I have lost count of the amount of times we have been to hospital over the past eight months, I am absolutely drained and all I do is worry about him 24 seven. His dad gets really angry with me and doesn't seem to notice the things that I see ( I am with him all the time and he's not - he also has missed a hypo attack once so I don't trust him at all which makes it all worse as the pressure is all on me).
Have any of you ever had this happened to one of your children? Why is my son always so ill? If he gets something, it doesn't just seem to be a run-of-the-mill cold, it always develops into something either really severe, or long-lasting, or some kind of complication. I am always on alert. I actually hate him going to nursery now because he seems to just come back and gets very poorly. I see other children just with general colds playing etc and I am actually envious of their parents.. as my son doesn't seem to just be normal. I am very very low because of all new virus he has has gone on now for eight days and he doesn't seem to be getting any better, and to top it off I feel bad with it too so I'm extra emotional and exhausted. It's like a very heavy head cold and it's awful.
I have a 15-year-old daughter, and although she was obviously poorly when she was little, it was never this relentless. I was never so worried all the time. I feel sick ALL the time for the worry. People constantly comment on how ill he is all the time and I feel insinuate there's something wrong with him, or they tell me how pale he looks. It makes me feel
worse. I do feel he's much more 'fragile' than my daughter was.. he's slim build and pale, but when he's well is has non stop energy and just wants to be a normal active boy.
If this has happened to one of your children, please tell me it gets better. Or can someone please tell me what they think it's going on? I just feel like my head is a mess with sleep deprivation and the constant alertness of his symptoms he constantly has. To top it off My marriage is really really bad at the moment and has been for a number of months and I just feel like everything is overwhelming.
Thankyou for reading - and sorry for the long message x