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Children's health

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12 year old insomnia

12 replies

AulTheTea · 31/03/2025 13:07

My 12 year old (Year 7) has been suffering with occasional insomnia for about 6 months now. He gets really distressed when he can’t fall asleep promptly and I don’t really know how to help him. Things we’ve tried:

He has a healthy diet, drinks plenty of water, zero caffeine, lots of time outdoors and exercise. This has always been the case.
For the last month he has been having an earlier bedtime and minimal screen time including at least 90 mins screen free before bed - not made any difference yet.
Previously we’ve tried peaceful music, mindfulness, ‘sleep casts’ with no effect He has tried sleeping in the spare room and sometimes the change of scenery helps.

We’ve tried talking about every little thing that could possibly be on his mind, I’m as sure as can be that he isn’t being bullied or have any major issues like that - he is so desperate for sleep he would definitely tell me. He tries to think of anything that could be bothering him - even brining up ridiculously minor things - but really he is fine and there is nothing to tell. He is tired from the lack of sleep, yawning a lot and complaining of tiredness but really it’s not THAT bad, I’m not actually too worried about that side of it, he doesn’t really struggle to get up for school for instance.

The biggest issue is he gets so upset when he can’t sleep, he is annoyed with himself to the point of calling himself ‘stupid’ and ‘an idiot’ when normally he has great self confidence and belief. I’ve never heard him talking about himself in these negative terms before and it really worries me 😓 I don’t really see how the GP could help but that’s my next step unless anyone has any ideas??

OP posts:
fruitypancake · 31/03/2025 21:13

The GP might be able to make a referral to a sleep clinic?

dddilemma · 31/03/2025 21:24

Been there, done that. DD15 is awaiting assessment for autism/ADHD. Been years waiting, years to go. I bought melatonin online & it's been life changing. Worth looking into!

sunshinechaser · 31/03/2025 21:31

My DS falls asleep a lot quicker when I give him magnesium (glycinate) before bed. He also gets a bit annoyed when it takes him ages to get to sleep. He’s super sporty and I think the magnesium helps his muscles relax at bedtime. I take it too.

MissyB1 · 31/03/2025 21:35

Magnesium is worth a try, there are also magnesium creams and sprays.
My insomnia first kicked in at age 11, I'm afraid I've suffered on and off the rest of my life.

Sprig1 · 31/03/2025 21:47

Has he tried listening to a podcast? Te distraction from trying to fall asleep might help.

acupofteamakeseverythingbetter · 31/03/2025 22:09

What sort of screen time does he have? Does he have a smartphone and could be watching or seeing things which are making him worried?

AulTheTea · 31/03/2025 22:31

I have no concerns about autism or any additional needs. His sister has SEN so it’s something I have my eyes open to but no signs at all.

Magnesium I will look into - thanks. I also suffer from insomnia and have done since being a child but I’ve never worried about it, i just lie quietly and daydream until I fall asleep.

He is resistant to listening to a podcast or anything else, we did try for a while with a gentle audiobook but he didn’t like it. I will suggest he tries again.

Screentime: all screen time is downstairs with the family nearby, no concerns that he is watching anything unsuitable. He doesn’t have any tech upstairs. For an hour or so an evening he uses his iPad, he watches shows like Lego Masters or Steve Backshall nature stuff, he plays games (none are violent or rated above a 12). He doesn’t sleep any better on days when he has no iPad time.

Thanks for the thoughts so far all

OP posts:
BrownOwlknowsbest · 31/03/2025 22:34

The inability to get to sleep is not a problem if it only happens occasionally. Please let him know that it is OK to lie awake sometimes and just let your body rest while your mind is taking a little longer to shut down and sleep. I've always had a good imagination, and have for years invented 'sleep stories' to tell myself while waiting to drop off. Most of them involved me performing some sort of a heroic rescue, often in snow, and now everyone is safe, warm, fed and tucked into bed. Oddly enough the story rarely goes beyond that point as I generally fall asleep sometime around there.

pearbottomjeans · 31/03/2025 22:35

Aw that was me as a kid. Very distressing. Nothing really helped me but this thread already has more suggestions than we ever tried back in the 00s! Good luck!

holidayfever2024 · 02/04/2025 16:33

OP the magnesium spray has proved to be an absolute miracle for my DD (13 now)
If we ever go away without it she swears she knows the difference, we use this one
https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/betteryou-magnesium-sleep-spray-60017822
i usually order from
amazon.
We also have these alongside but think it’s the
magnesium that did the trick, these may be a placebo!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08N6QR8QP/?encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B08N6QR8QP&ref=sbx_be_s_sparkle_ssd_tt&qid=1743607660&pd_rd_w=XUNFk&content-id=amzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666%3Aamzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_p=632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_r=KYEZFY5331V3RSN6JYE3&pd_rd_wg=2rsOm&pd_rd_r=c9ca5a5f-bff6-43fd-b753-8e3340cfd02e&pd_rd_plhdr=t
Make sure he is realistic about giving any new things a chance to take effect.
Melatonin didn’t help here as if she woke in the night she then had to go through the getting to sleep taking forever part in the middle of the
night
good luck , I used to find it so stressful! .

DOZYBEARS® Bedtime Gummy | 5-HTP, L-Tryptophan + Vitamins C, B2, B3, B5, B6 B12 with Chamomile and Lemon Balm to | Mixed Berry Flavour | 60 Vegan Gummies | Support Rest & Sleep | Suitable Age 12+ : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

DOZYBEARS® Bedtime Gummy | 5-HTP, L-Tryptophan + Vitamins C, B2, B3, B5, B6 B12 with Chamomile and Lemon Balm to | Mixed Berry Flavour | 60 Vegan Gummies | Support Rest & Sleep | Suitable Age 12+ : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08N6QR8QP/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B08N6QR8QP&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_ssd_tt&qid=1743607660&pd_rd_w=XUNFk&content-id=amzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666%3Aamzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_p=632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_r=KYEZFY5331V3RSN6JYE3&pd_rd_wg=2rsOm&pd_rd_r=c9ca5a5f-bff6-43fd-b753-8e3340cfd02e&pd_rd_plhdr=t&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-childrens-health-5305596-12-year-old-insomnia

holidayfever2024 · 02/04/2025 20:37

BrownOwlknowsbest · 31/03/2025 22:34

The inability to get to sleep is not a problem if it only happens occasionally. Please let him know that it is OK to lie awake sometimes and just let your body rest while your mind is taking a little longer to shut down and sleep. I've always had a good imagination, and have for years invented 'sleep stories' to tell myself while waiting to drop off. Most of them involved me performing some sort of a heroic rescue, often in snow, and now everyone is safe, warm, fed and tucked into bed. Oddly enough the story rarely goes beyond that point as I generally fall asleep sometime around there.

This is such great advice - I sleep well mostly but reading somewhere that just laying down was still resting my mind and body really
helped me to relax when I do struggle.
i also normally think about something I am really looking forward to (like an event or a holiday to help me steer myself into feeling relaxed and not legit f my brain go all over the place !)
my DD refused to engage with any meditation etc but does like to read .

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