4.5 month old SOS

[Cconnellyx]

I am hoping someone will have some advice or even solidarity for what we have been and are still going through

I’m a 28 year old FTM to a 4.5 month old baby girl. She was born 40+6 with no complications and a relatively easy pregnancy bar some pretty bad sickness and heartburn

Ever since she was 3 days old we have been really struggling with her being unsettled and uncomfortable. She has periods of the day where she will be fine but 80% of the time she isn’t. Things she is displaying:

• Crunching her body inwards
• Screaming crying
• Wind
• Very unsettled all through the night waking up 20+ times crying and grunting
• Congested and sounds nasly
• Throat sounds wet
• Not gaining weight steadily and dropped percentiles

We were told multiple times from the GP that she had colic and then we had to basically ride it out until she grew out of it. Hearing this was very difficult as seeing your baby cry for hour and hours every day and every night was mentally and emotionally draining

Things we have tried to resolve the issues:

• She was moved onto Aptamil Pepti 1 despite but showing any of the tell tale signs of CMPA for 2 months but this caused extreme wind issues so we took her off this and switched to HIPP Organic (there has been no real change since the switch)
• We spent 3 nights in hospital as we really thought something was very wrong but they could find anything in the tests they ran (blood work and swabs)
• The GP prescribed omperazole but this again caused severe wind issues and therefore we stopped this
• We had her tongue tie snipped which did improve the latch during feeding but again no real improvement on the unsettledness
• She attended a chiropractor for 24 sessions but again this made no difference despite the chiropractor advising the tension in her body has released
• We have tried over the counter remedies including gripe water, colief, detinox and infacol (the only relief temporarily came from gripe water)

We have been told by the GP that there is nothing further they can do and they referred us to paediatrics at the hospital who responded we had been placed on a routine wait list as they were not concerned and to try and wean her at 17 weeks

I just wondered if anybody has been going through something similar or has been and can advise and success they had with weaning early and these issues. I am struggling day to day with being alone at home while my partner works the same as many other parents out there

Any advice or comments would be massively appreciated.

my first was like this. I basically walked around with her in a carrier on my chest for the first 8 months. It was really hard but at least she wasn’t screaming.
If the doctors are happy, I think it’s all you can do. Strap her in, go out for walks….

I met other people on my walks, went to coffee shops, parks etc…. People will chat to you when you’re alone with a baby. Go to baby groups just don’t take her out yet, you can still meet the other mums

It’s so difficult isn’t it. How was your little one during the night time? We are 4 months in and haven’t had any decent sleep despite during co-sleeping, sleep upright on our chests and also in her next to me cot

She was awful at night. Honestly, I slept upright with her on my chest on a rocking chair.

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. My eldest was an unsettled baby, although perhaps not to this extent, and it was extremely difficult. He only really got better after 6 months when he could sit up, then happier still when he could crawl and finally walk. Make sure you get some help for yourself too.

Can I just check, because I'm not sure on different formula types, is baby now on cow's milk free formula? I know some who have ended up of nutramigen and found a real difference.

The milk she’s on isn’t cows milk free anymore. We asked to switch from Aptamil Pepti 1 to another one but they didn’t see the point as she didn’t improve on the Pepti 1 so they ruled out CMPA

Can you stick her in a high chair for short periods so she is upright but you don't HAVE to carry her? And do you have a pushchair or only a pram with bassinet currently? I switched by baby to the pushchair seat at 4.5 months and lay baby back flat when tired. Might give you relief from carrying and let baby be upright.

Re weaning from 17 weeks, it gets pilloried on Mumsnet, but there are NHS guides on safe early weaning and other countries eg in Scandinavia routinely wean at 5 months. You can't do baby led weaning as you need to start with very thin purées and go slower than starting at six months. Good luck!

She is currently in a bassinet type pram at the moment but considering changing the attachment to the stroller version so she can be upright!

I think we may have to consider weaning at 5 months and hope she improves on this and when she is able to crawl and become more mobile as I have heard babies can be happier when this happens.

thank you for much message it’s appreciated

Sorry it's so hard and I have no suggestions. But my almost 2 year old was similar until 6 months. Dropped from 50th at birth to 2nd percentile. We had tummy issues, sleep issues, and he would NOT be put down. Cosleeping didn't really help....endless doctors appointments, tongue tie cut, feeding support, osteopath, paediatric doctors, dieticians... Nobody could help and he screamed murder whenever he was in the car on the way to any of these.

The most important thing was, he was clearly "well" despite this. He was on the go all day long, alert and interested and ended up crawling at 5 months and standing at 6 (apparently all the withing in agony can strengthen muscles!)

If you truly feel worried for their immediate health, keep bugging the doctors, show up at a&e, whatever. But generally the NHS is very careful on newborns. So, if it is just shit but not dangerous then I agree, wean early (and add formula if you are breastfeeding - I did and it took a long time to get the bottle going but it helped). Until then, look after yourself as much as you can. It will pass! Just prioritise sleep whenever and wherever you can.

To add to the above, I sleep trained in the end and felt it saved my life, marriage, and relationship with the baby. Plus baby got sleep he needed. But that's a whole other discussion and maybe if the crying is getting to you it's better to prioritise short times without the baby just to reset your stress levels to cope. I'm certain it will get better soon though!

Not having significant improvement with Aptimal Pepti does not rule out CMPI. It's an extensively hydrolysed formula but the least so, making it cheaper and less foul tasting than the others so tends to be prescribed first line for both reasons.

Honestly I would go back and push for nutramigen as the next step up, baby may not like it now they're older but there are hacks for building tolerance.

Or if you're fed up with gaslighting by HCPs and can't bring yourself to push for an appointment and prescription, then you can buy it yourself if able, it's expensive but worth it to check things properly. I did that with mine then you can go back to GP and tell them you've tried it and it worked so you want it on prescription please. If there's improvement and you can start properly enjoying your baby it's well worth the investment. And after 3-4 weeks if you feel there's still scope for further improvement then push for an amino acid based formula, though these can be thinner so can cause more reflux issues, unless the reflux is all secondary to CMPI. If no improvement with the above then at least you know it's not that and can leave the what ifs behind.

I used this online chemist if you can't get a GP to prescribe it:
https://www.chemist-4-u.com/nutramigen-1-with-lgg-400g-case-of-3?_gl=11fmx8bm_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwxo_CBhDbARIsADWpDH7joYSLFxSgoq2nKFay5LP240V5xja45G0bgL1_MHolB670aURX0KwaAllzEALw_wcB&gbraid=0AAAAADMV1WR-luvA-ytNIIQ6Giwz0ZkwB
It's pricey at £62 for 3 small tubs but it saved my sanity.

I got told my daughter didn't have CMPI, and guess what, she's still not fully outgrown it at 4.5 years 🙄