Why isn't child obesity classed as neglect?

[dinklu]

(Setting aside medical conditions that may contribute to weight gain.)

If a child is severely underweight due to a lack of proper nutrition, it is often seen as neglect. But when a child is significantly overweight due to consistently poor diet and lack of exercise, it is not typically viewed in the same way. Why is that?

Is it because there aren't enough resources or support for parents? Or is it simply not recognised as a form of neglect in the same way malnutrition is? Curious to hear other perspectives.

Tldr: because it's a complex issue that even professionals struggle to effectively treat.

I have one child who is obese and 2 who are healthy weights and slim. Hes always been a bit overeeight despite being very active, much more active than his slim brothers. He gained weight very rapidly as a baby, he's always been like that.
He was very active until about 8 months ago when his mental health took a turn for the worse after that he gained a lot of weight. I'm sure lots of people like to judge me for it, just like they judged me when he used to have meltdowns because of his autism. He is very much loved, not at all neglected, health professionals involved and I've been advised not to focus on it while he's struggling mentally.

Being overweight or indeed underweight when it's caused by an eating disorder is very complex and hard to treat. Even the professionals don't necessarily know how to deal with a child being overweight in a healthy way that won't trigger a different eating disorder. I'm overweight to if anyone would like to judge me on that too. Caused by medication I cannot stop taking if I don't want to die, but people don't know that, love being judged as the fat mum with the fat kid, like our lives arent hard enough. The last thing my kid needs is SS in his life.

What a goady and unpleasant opening post.

Childhood obesity is a huge issue. It's also a very complicated one linked to education, economics, culture, community, lifestyle, changing food standards etc.

If we are saying that fat children are suffering from neglect, how exactly do you plan to to FIX this problem? Seriously - I'm interested to know. Should the children be removed from the parents? Parents arrested perhaps?? So they hvae that trauma to deal with and simultaneously they're being forced to eat home made bread and lentils (who will be providing this food?), and doing lots of exercise (who will be overseeing this)? Do you think this will work?

And I speak as someone who had a child who was extremely overweight and who has turned this around completely, but it's been a process. I'm also someone who worries constantly about my second child who is nowhere near as overweight as DC1 was, but who has food issues, intolerances etc which makes it hard - and I've spoken to doctors etc too. I'm not just casually letting it go.

And if it's this hard for me - I'm educated, well versed in nutrition, cook almost all of our food from scratch etc - how hard is it for others?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a problem. And it's why I've been trying to solve it for my own family. And I do feel worry when I see children who are significantly more overweight than either of mine were and yet who always seem to be having breakfast at Costa or whatever. But a simple, "it's neglect - BAD parents" is not helpful at all.

Having gone through the process of getting one child's weight done completely, and still working on the second, I 100% believe that for children, inactivity is a huge issue. I'm not talking about lots of exercise - I'm talking about just being out and about and moving and doing things. Lack of independence for children is part of this problem, becuase they're not moving as much if they're at home and too often they're all being kept at home way past when we woluld have let children be out and about independently in the past. We allowed DS out and about from a bit earlier than is standard around here and it definitely played a part in the second half of his weight loss - he was running aroudn the neighboubood, going to the park etc.

In our case, an additional issue for example is that we CAN walk to school - but it takes just under 20 minutes. The problem is that I don't have time to do that. Sure, we could get up that much earlier to leave a bit earlier. But what about after? I drop DD and RACE back home to start work. And then, it escalates because then, when I DO have time, she doesn't want to do it because it's not part of her routine.

Sorry but I can't agree with a lot of these posts blaming genetics, finances or availability of UPFs. As parents, especially of primary age children or below, we control what goes into their bodies.

NOT including children with medical issues.

A multipack of crisps costs the same as a pack of bananas or apples. A big chocolate bar costs the same as a pack of chicken thighs, tinned beans, lentils, vegetables and meats are all affordable if bought in place of cheap filler crap. A slow cooker costs pennies to run to provide a hearty meal for a growing child.

It's laziness. Lazy people having children who don't care to read to them at night time, who don't bother about nutrition or exercise, who allow screens to drag up their kids. It's disgusting and a blight on modern society. We all know they 'type', and no navel gazing about 'life is hard for some' is going to change it.

It's laziness. Lazy people having children who don't care to read to them at night time, who don't bother about nutrition or exercise, who allow screens to drag up their kids. It's disgusting and a blight on modern society. We all know they 'type', and no navel gazing about 'life is hard for some' is going to change it.

Posts like this are just so clueless. It's like, if you have a fat child, then you must be a terrible parent in every other way too? It would be funny if it wasn't so sad and a reason why fixing the problems is so difficult.

The food lobby is massively powerful and wants to keep its industry's profits up. Cheap filler ingredients should be restricted. I do think fresh healthy food should be subsidised but also that our farmers need support to produce fresh local food. We've lost sight of seasonal eating. I shouldn't be able to buy strawberries in January.

30 years ago our children moved more and ate less crap, although must children had a bag of crisps each day for their "playpiece" at school and a chocolate biscuit in their lunchbox but they moved, they walked to and from school, they went out to play either in their garden or if older to wander around. Now we have children who are chauffeured everywhere and i mean everywhere, there are children who have never walked along their own street and that is shameful. At weekends parents need to catch up on chores so the children are left with a screen to babysit them or they are off to pottery painting classes because the parents feel they have to be showboating their parenting skills. Children only eat what their parents buy and a Greggs for breakfast washed down with an energy drink is criminal. Parents are to blame.

I don't think it is just 'laziness'. It's more complex and there are confidence, skills, time and resources all mixed up in that. It's also really really hard to get kids to eat home cooked food if it's not what they're used to so rewinding after setting off on this path is really hard. I can understand the mum who gets home from work at 6pm and chooses to stick freezer food in the oven to have dinner on the table at 6:30pm. Yes it's possible to put together a simple non-UPF dinner in that time but not whilst also helping with homework, talking to child about their day, putting a wash on etc.

I took my children to soft play over the weekend, most of the kids are tearing around, slim and energetic. Parents a variety of shapes and sizes. Two families were there where the parents were huge, and so were their kids. The little girl had rings around her stomach from how tight the leggings were & fat rolls, she can only have been 5-6. The older boys were both bought massive milkshakes with cream and marshmallows which were £5.95 each. They hardly moved, just sat and ate constantly.

This wasn't a cheap place, so I don't buy the financial argument, the 'easy' option for the parents was to buy them crap and feed them junk to get to that size. It's disgusting and I judged them hard.

Okay then, how DID they do it these thirty, forty years ago?
The parents, I mean. There was still work, but no technology, no tablets etc.
Genuine question.
Glad I'm more or less retired from society, which I understand less and less.
No children, no obesity, only father had a beer belly.
Just a little joke.

Being slightly underweight isn’t classed as neglect either. Nor is it neglect if it’s related to a medical condition, or if the child has an Eating Disorder or sensory issue relating to food that parents are addressing.

Just the same as obesity.

Demonising parents and stigmatising the child isn’t the answer to either problem.

30 or 40 years ago many households only had one working adult or if the second parent worked it was part time, so there was plenty of time available to walk the children to and from school and to make a meal from scratch. We have made this mess.

Absolutely the same as am my DC... they plumped up a little around year 6-7 by year 8 all had grown loads and if anything looked quite thin.

Obesity and weight is a complex area - it's so dangerous to label a child at puberty age especially, they are often just preparing for a huge growth and development phase of their life.

One of my DC was briefly teased by a boy in his class and even now, it's had a huge effect on him, let alone what an OTT heavy handed approach would do by the powers that be!

They had these things called TVs.

You stuck your child in front of it as soon as they got home from school and they sat in front of it to eat their chips and chicken nuggets.

Then the programmes ended for the day and they were packed off to bed.

I was one of those kids. My mum didn't work and she still didn't cook. She stood in the kitchen smoking and listening to the radio every night.

30-40 years ago most of the mums I knew only worked part time if at all. Pretty much without fail it was mum who came to school pick up at 3pm, took the children home, spent time with them and cooked dinner.

I know it's possible to work full time hours and still cook (I do it) but other things like housework aren't kept on top of well because I choose cooking over mopping floors! It's just not possible to do everything!

My nephew is morbidly obese, he's 14 and has been overweight for years. His parents are educated and very well of financially. Dad works from home, Mum never worked. Two older kids have moved out. They are just lazy. It's easier to keep feeding him while he plays computer games all day. They use asthma as an excuse as to why he can't play sports or be active but he doesn't even use an inhaler. We have bought him basketballs, skateboard, outdoor things for his birthday when he was younger at his request but the parents never bothered to encourage him to play with these items.

My children play sports. Myself and my DH are out at least 4 nights a week at various training with them and then matches at the weekend. I make sure they have healthy home cooked food. Some days I would love to sit on my sofa,feed the kids chips and nuggets and say no training tonight but I don't because I'm not lazy and I take my role as a parent very seriously.

Because millions of children are neglected in many ways and nothing is done about it.

I think letting a child get overweight isn't quite the equivalent of not giving them enough food. That would be more like the equivalent of forcing them to eat too much food/force feeding.

I think a lot of it is education. Both for the parents and the children. I know a lot of people whose idea of a meal is nuggets and chips or fishfingers and chips, etc - which is fine before I get shot down! But on repeat? Sugary cereals on a morning, snacks, etc.

I wasn't educated when I first had children and I only went off what I had been brought up on - nuggets, fishfingers and the odd crispy pancake! I've never liked fruit or much veg, I would choose not to eat it.

My older child will eat a much more varied diet, younger one chicken, fish, meat, dairy, etc. Both drink a lot of milk.

Neither one will touch a piece of veg other than potatoes, or fruit. I buy in smoothies.

It is only the last 10 years maybe when I have took an interest in nutrition that I have tried to get more into them. Making veg gravy and veg tomato based sauces. But I have had to educate myself.

There should be something in the curriculum. I do recall having home economics when I was in school but not sure if there is anything like that now?

I have one child who loves food and one who isn’t fussed. The difference is the one who asks for food gets given a handful of nuts or some fruit, not a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar washed down with a can of coke. No one is saying deny food- it’s what kids are being fed is the issue

I think there are some children who are naturally on the bigger side, however, allowing your child to be obese is neglect. In additionally, it isn't good for their self-esteem to be the fat kid.

I disagree that it’s just a lack of time to cook etc. It’s more complex. There are plenty of people with the time to prepare cheap, healthy food but who do not. Of course money does come into it. But it’s also about education and food culture. If your “normal” is chips, frozen pizza, etc then you are not suddenly going to whip up a chickpea casserole with brown rice, are you? Or overnight oats instead of coco pops…

there needs to be a government led change to UK food culture but the problem is that in Britain there is huge inverse snobbery around food - people see anything healthy as worthy of derision. People who don’t want their kids to eat crap are accused of being overly precious. There is a lack of understanding that what you feed your kids will shape not just their food preferences but also their gut biome and how they respond to food in the future etc.

I was one of three kids in our family growing up. I was quite overweight whereas my siblings were perfectly healthy. When I look back at the quantity of food I ate, I'm astounded that my mum facilitated it. Dinners were good home cooked meals but I would eat 2 adult portions every evening. I would eat until I felt over full at almost every dinner. I still love food and overeat now and again but only once or twice a year will I feel over full like that. I feel sorry for my childhood self. I would always eat beyond the point where I'd stopped enjoying it really.

I have been so careful with my DD to try to create a situation where she is interested in food and enjoys it but knows when to stop. If she says she's hungry after dinner she's offered a banana or plain yoghurt. If she's genuinely hungry she'll eat those happily. I've also tried not to create a 'treat' mentality around chocolate. She has open access to her sweets stash but moderates herself much better than I can myself and she also considers things like mango, melon, porridge(!), and her favourite dinners to be as much of a special food as the chocolate bars.

Why is it always someone else's fault? Such a dependent society, blame others instead of taking responsibility.
Don't buy excessively calorific food. Don't have it in the house.

You're right about the derision and inverse snobbery @Newmeagain . Other kids comment on DD's packed lunch all the time. Luckily DD actually prefers her lunches over the norm so she hasn't asked to change but I wouldn't blame her if she decided that she needed to be the same as everyone else.