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Original poster

No period at 15 and thinks shes trans

40 replies

Mynamechangeaccount · 27/02/2025 08:34

My daughter is 15. She had a period a few years ago but nothing since.

She is in pubity, she's a healthy weight, ok diet. I don't know what age I started but I think it was early secondary school.

  1. When should I worry?
  1. She has decided she is trans (whole other issue I don't want to get into) and hates her body etc. I'm trying to sensitively manage that eg sports bras to minimise breasts safely etc but I know she'll be very upset about periods. Could she be secretly taking something to stop them? I've not seen any evidence of this but she is getting increasingly private and sneaky (normal teenage stuff).
  1. How on earth do I manage her upset when her periods do start? I am really concerned about this.
OP posts:
greengreyblue · 27/02/2025 16:26

WillIEverBeOk · 27/02/2025 16:25

Putting the trans bit aside, if she had one period a few years ago and nothing since, you should have taken her to the doctor 2 years ago for a check up. It's pretty neglectful that you haven't. Any mother would be out of their mind with worry!! It could be serious. Why have you let this go on? Please be a mother and get her to the GP asap.

Overreaction! If you’d be out of your mind with worry about a period issue, you’re the one doing your daughter a disservice .

WillIEverBeOk · 27/02/2025 16:27

greengreyblue · 27/02/2025 16:26

Overreaction! If you’d be out of your mind with worry about a period issue, you’re the one doing your daughter a disservice .

Edited
Show quote history

No if anything, it's an underreaction. It could be serious and it could have been addressed before now. If you wouldn't be out of your mind with worry about a potential HEALTH ISSUE then there is something wrong with you as a parent. I like the way you minimise what could be a serious health issue as just a 'period issue'.

LunaLove1 · 27/02/2025 16:28

For what it’s worth my 15 year old still has irregular periods some months and can occasionally skip one. She’s a very healthy weight so I assume her body is still trying to get into sync.

Original poster
Mynamechangeaccount · 27/02/2025 16:28

WillIEverBeOk · 27/02/2025 16:25

Putting the trans bit aside, if she had one period a few years ago and nothing since, you should have taken her to the doctor 2 years ago for a check up. It's pretty neglectful that you haven't. Any mother would be out of their mind with worry!! It could be serious. Why have you let this go on? Please be a mother and get her to the GP asap.

When I mentioned it to a GP in passing during one of my appointments they said not to worry because it's normal for them to start and then stop. This is where I got age 16 from.

So no, I'm not neglectful for listening to a dr. This is also why I wanted to check if it is something I need to push for and now I know I do.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 27/02/2025 16:28

You mention her potentially taking medication to stop periods, it could be as simple as her having gone to get the contraceptive pill? If she was taking that every day she may not be having any periods and she could have got the prescription without having to let you know?

greengreyblue · 27/02/2025 16:29

@WillIEverBeOk Disagree. It’s something to be looked into, not panic and worry out of your mind! Lots of girls have issues with periods getting into a regular cycle, some never do. I had irregular periods but got pregnant first time. All women are different.

Ivyy · 27/02/2025 17:46

Op I'd put addressing the trans thing to one side for now and focus on her health / hormones. Although as a pp mentioned, perhaps a hormonal imbalance could be a factor in why she feels she could be trans. There are many different reasons periods might start then stop, or not have started at all by her age, it could be PCOS, I have it and am slim, Dr called it "lean PCOS".

The brain matures and develops along with the body during puberty, because of hormones, so a hormonal imbalance could definitely be contributing to the way she feels about herself and questioning if she's trans. That's why the watch and wait approach is preferred by the NHS now.

Agree with others could she be restricting her calories? How likely is it she has access to medication like the pill without you knowing?

Christwosheds · 27/02/2025 17:58

I was sixteen when I started my periods, my mum too.
My friend was 17. She did have one period before that then a longish gap of about 10-12 months, then they started again naturally, (she went to the GP and got checked ).
As pps are saying, it’s the very long gap that’s concerning, although there is the possibility that your daughter has gone on the pill and is taking them back to back to avoid periods. It does need to be looked into, as it isn’t normal to have a such a gap. A few months, even six, seems common but not years. I see this is a sensitive issue but you need to talk to her. Did she definitely have a period ?

creamcheeseandlox · 27/02/2025 17:59

My dd had a first period at 13 then nothing. I took her to GP 2 yrs later and she had an ultrasound which showed all ok. She then got a period two days after when she was 15 and 3 months and has been regular ever since...so 15 is still in the realms of normal.

AnSolas · 27/02/2025 18:50

You want to go with personalised attacks?

Fine
I give you advice based on your original post

Your posts "read" like a TRA bating MN posters into being "transphobic".

At 08:34 you think she is taking something
At 12:53 you are not sure
At 12:58 you are 100% sure about "puberty blockers"

And
At 08:34 (whole other issue I don't want to get into)

But that bit is not true.

At 09:49 The reason I ask about periods is because online it says not to worry until 16 and with her whole gender thing I don't want to push it if I'll be fobbed off anyway. But 16 seems old.

At 16:28 When I mentioned it to a GP in passing during one of my appointments they said not to worry because it's normal for them to start and then stop. This is where I got age 16 from.

@DustyLee123 · Today 08:36
My DD had one or two periods in the years up to 16. That was when they sent her for tests for PCOS. And I think it’s best to know what you’re dealing with.]
As for periods, she could take the pill continuously, but that needs a chat with a GP

You appear to ignore DustyLees warning of a medical need and advice about using medication to manage periods.

As you did not appear to read the links I provided let me highlight some light reading:

Treatment with medication is usually only recommended if the lack of development is causing problems, such as significant distress.

And to comprehend the meaning:

Eg female girl with no period deciding she is trans is showing distress about something

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/early-or-delayed-puberty/

Hopefully you get some cuddly posts from other MN users which meet your needs.

Cherriescherry · 27/02/2025 19:07

If she started her period a few years ago and stopped then she really needs to see a GP because there is probably something wrong with her. She could secretly be on the pill to stop her periods. You can tell her it's fine to be a girl and like traditional boy things and be a tomboy. Being a tomboy doesn't mean you're a boy.

NarnianQueen · 27/02/2025 19:09

I'd get her checked for pcos if I were you. Also- a disproportionate number of tr as bs-identified women have pcos. No idea why, but it's statistically interesting.

NarnianQueen · 27/02/2025 19:09

Trans-identified, that was meant to say!

TakeAStep · 28/02/2025 21:36

In response to the Transgender topic, there is a group on Facebook of parents in the same boat and predicament as you. It's the really good page, we have gotten lots of support from parents alike x

It's called "Support Group: Parents of Transgender Children"

WillIEverBeOk · 28/02/2025 23:09

TakeAStep · 28/02/2025 21:36

In response to the Transgender topic, there is a group on Facebook of parents in the same boat and predicament as you. It's the really good page, we have gotten lots of support from parents alike x

It's called "Support Group: Parents of Transgender Children"

It sounds like an ideological group that exists for affirmation only, if so, that is not what the OP needs right now.

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