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Children's health

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Original poster

Is 8 too old for DD in spica cast for broken leg to be in nappies? but also a rant and cry

23 replies

PossiblyBadMum · 26/01/2025 01:52

think there's going to be some anger over this but im beyond stressed

DD broke her femur last week at a friends house, someone whos parents I really felt iffy about so am feeling lots of guilt over that already. She spent three days in hospital in traction before getting a spica cast that goes from her armpits down to her toes on her bad leg and to just above her knee on her good leg, and there is a bar between the legs of the cast (has been a life saver). She spent two days in hospital and the team there were great and showed me and her granny the ins and outs of how to look after her and the cast. We were warned that if we choose to take her home its unlikely she would get a bed if we were unable to look after her. we were pretty confident we could work it out and she was discharged. Queue ambulence ride home because she couldnt fit in the car and thank god because we wouldnt have been able to carry her to the front door.

The same day my mum felt faint and went to a&e and was admitted. I cant go see her because im the only one left to look after DD. I'm now also having to be DDs carer 24/7 where we planned on splitting it between the two of us. Its exhausting. Its as much work as when she was a newborn but so much more tiring because even turning her in bed in a colosal task. ive been looking for every which way to save effort and make it easier. its been three days and my back is shattered, ive barely slept and im stresed.

in hospital she had multiple surgeries and when she got her cast and they took out her catheter out she had a nappy tucked into the cast and they also showed us how to change her. she hated having it and after a day she was using the pan. the main issue is that using the pan is a lot of effort (that im willing to do to help her of course) and she has the smallest bladder known to human kind. I know she cant help it but its every half an hour and a LOT during the nights. The cast is really heavy and waking up at 3am to do hard labour is NOT fun. i know she hated nappies but im really seeing no other way of coping. obviosuly still using the pan for poos for the sake of us all, but am i the worst mum in the world for considering nappies??? i know she really hated it, but i have no idea how else to cope.

if anyone has any advice id really really apreciate it x

OP posts:

FoxInTheForest · 26/01/2025 01:58

Nappies just over night might be a better compromise?

Original poster

PossiblyBadMum · 26/01/2025 02:00

have reread and realised i missed it but thats the idea! just for the night as obviosuly when weve both had some sleep the day would be much easier

OP posts:

MelainesLaugh · 26/01/2025 02:03

Nappy issue aside, is there any chance of getting a carer in to help relieve the pressure from you? You’re going to run yourself ragged.

Guavafish1 · 26/01/2025 02:04

Yes … it’s easier!

well done for taking and nursing her at home alone

SlaveToAGoldenRetriever · 26/01/2025 02:04

Every half hour is far too much. Has she been tested for diabetes?

Original poster

PossiblyBadMum · 26/01/2025 02:08

i might just be freaking out because its the middle of the night at the weekend and i cant just call the community nurse about it to get all the options, but we had really bad experience with the local carers in the area over grandad and theyre the one company is all we are aware that do temporary care relif😩will have to ask the community nurse for options but it does feel a bit like the sky is falling

OP posts:

Original poster

PossiblyBadMum · 26/01/2025 02:09

after school complained she was leaving lessons too much yeah but no she doesnt and the GP seemed to think it would get better with age :/

OP posts:

Glitterandunicorns · 26/01/2025 03:02

I'm sorry, OP. That sounds like such a lot for you all to deal with.
You said you'd spoken with the GP about your child's bladder. Can I suggest you ask for a referral to the children's continence team at hospital? This is definitely not normal and I'm sure they'd be able to help her which it seems might help you while she's incapacitated.

Original poster

PossiblyBadMum · 26/01/2025 03:21

Glitterandunicorns · 26/01/2025 03:02

That's a good suggestion. I guess since the GP refered her for some tests the first time and then said it was normal it didnt feel like we were being fobbed off, but we may have?

OP posts:

Difficultwill · 26/01/2025 03:51

Dear OP. You are doing so well in very difficult circumstances. It must be such hard work for one person. The community Occupational Therapist should be able to help you with aids to make things easier or to teach use methods of getting her on the pan that does not do your back in so much. Maybe a hoist to lift her would help?
It might be difficult for your DD to pee in a nappy as you have taught her at potty training not to do it but it might be worth a try. I agree the Childrens continence team or community paediatricians may be able to help with bladder training to help your DD not needing to pee quite so often.
How is your DM doing? Is she ok? I am not surprised you are stressed. Is there anyone else that can help you or even sit with your DD for a couple of hours whilst you get some much needed sleep? You do need to try and look after yourself but I realise this is probably low on your to do list!!!
Sending you virtual hugs

endofthelinefinally · 26/01/2025 04:05

How long is it since she opened her bowels? Constipation is a big problem for anyone in a hip spica and the more backed up they get the less room there is in the bladder.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 26/01/2025 04:41

I think you might find that she gets quite distressed about the idea of deliberately wetting herself in the night. But the current plan seems fairly unmanageable. I also agree she is going too much and wonder if the doctor would have any suggestions. If she was in hospital she'd probably still be catheterised.

Slightly off topic but how on earth has she got this injury? It sounds horrendous.

endofthelinefinally · 26/01/2025 05:30

KickHimInTheCrotch · 26/01/2025 04:41

Slightly off topic but how on earth has she got this injury? It sounds horrendous.

This. It is a very serious injury for a child. Hopefully the hospital have notified the appropriate people.

HoraceCope · 26/01/2025 05:41

i am sorry this has happened
is there no one that can help while you visit your dm for your own sake?

HoraceCope · 26/01/2025 05:41

there will be other care companies surely, and different companies to help with children

Cakeandcardio · 26/01/2025 06:08

Been there with the spica cast on my son. It's so hard and the cast alone is very heavy. Nappies seem a good compromise (for at least part of the time).

Remember... it seems like such a long time to be in the cast but this too shall pass.

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 26/01/2025 06:31

You may be able to find a good carer who works independently by asking on a local Facebook group, NextDoor or similar. Round here there are quite a few.

LuckysDadsHat · 26/01/2025 07:04

Look on some Hip Dysplasia support groups on social media. They will be able to help you out loads as it is a standard treatment for a lot of HD children (babies and older children). Lots of hints and tips on what to do.

The catheter could have aggravated her bladder which can make you wee a lot more but it should settle back down if it is that.

I hope she heals quickly xxx

MelainesLaugh · 26/01/2025 17:45

Just another thought (I’m a carer hence these ramblings), I wonder if it might be worth arranging for her to have a catheter again and then have the district nurses come out to sort it for her/you. You definitely need some assistance

kiana2015 · 26/01/2025 17:50

If she will use nappies I don't see the issue. A little tip for you on turning/repositioning, get a sheet put it under her, keep it there, don't attach to the bed or if you do take it out before using pull the sheet whichever direction you want it to go and pull up (not too hard or she'll go flying) she'll be turned without having to hurt yourself

HPandthelastwish · 26/01/2025 18:03

Have you contacted the hospital to see if they have room? They said there was no guarantee not that it was an outright 'No'. It sounds like she really needs a catheter again and proper professional care with people trained yo do so with hoists etc.

Breaking a femur is a very extreme injury. Does their explanation for how it happened make sense? I hope they've been reported to SS as a parent would be if the injury happened on their supervision on lack of. Unless the bladder issue is linked to weak bones like osteoporosis or similar - I'd want further investigations and get her back to hospital asap when they have space.

Eachpeachpears · 26/01/2025 18:10

Just an idea, is she possibly going more often because unconsciously her mind knows she can't go when she wants so to speak because of being incapacitated? Bless her and you. In regard to the question I would say community nursing team for temp hoists etc before nappies as she may see this as a punishment despite it definitely not being.
You poor souls, sending love xxx

endofthelinefinally · 27/01/2025 03:47

I am shocked that the hospital discharged her without at least organising a monkey pole and a bedside commode as a bare minimum. Lifting someone in a hip spica is a tricky thing and you could end up with a severe back injury, let alone the risk of injury to your DD if you are on your own.

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