4 year old always has loose stools - what to do?

[SparkleFly]

My 4.5 year old has always done sloppy poos. No tummy aches, no bloating, no excess wind or anything and goes once a day, but when he does it's always very loose.
He's now at school so needs to be able to wipe himself if doing a number 2 there, but because they're so messy, he's put off and therefore holds them in until he's at home. A couple of months ago at school he couldn't hold it and pooed himself as he was scared to go to the toilet as he knew he'd had to try and wipe himself. It was very messy and the TA commented on how he must have a bad tummy but I know this is normal consistency for him.
He has a healthy diet of probably about 3/4 pieces of fruit a day, plus tomatoes and other veg. We don't generally eat ultra processed food and dinner's usually your standard family favourites like chicken dinner, spag bol etc.
Any ideas on how I can get his stools firmer? Should I be giving him less fruit? (Like a lot of kids he's not as keen on veg but will eat a few 'sweeter' things like carrots, sweetcorn, peas). I wouldn't say he actually has that much dairy either, it's always a battle to get him to drink milk but he has a cheese sandwich for lunch.
Has anyone had this same problem with their child? I feel like if I go to the GP they will either tell me it's normal for him (as no other symptoms), or they'll make us start a diet of omissions.
Thanks 🙏

4 pieces of fruit seems a lot to me. The 'five a day' really needs to be more veg than fruit which I know can be tricky. It's also not brilliant for teeth to have this much fruit.

With stomach issues a first port of call for me would be to have a daily portion of live yoghurt for good gut bacteria. Also bone broth is excellent for the gut and the collagen in it also helps to firm up stools.

I think if he's only going once per day and doesn't have eczema, tummy pains, and is generally happy and healthy I would be reluctant to cut anything from his diet as well. There is something everyone could do with cutting out and that is any 'gum' ingredients like carrageenan, guar, xantham, known to be bad for gut inflammation. It sounds like you mostly cook from scratch but these can be lurking in stock cubes, flavoured yoghurts, bread etc.

Regarding veg, if you're into cooking it's easy to get extra veg into pizza sauce (sofritto, red peppers, garlic, tinned toms and blend) and it tastes really nice and sweet if you cook it for ages. My DD doesn't like celery or onion but will happily eat minestrone soup. Would he eat things like humus or avocado on toast?

My son was like this until I rolled back on the milk.

if he has too much milk even now (at 15) his poo smells
of farmyard - how does your child poo smell?

Yes farmyard explains it well 😂

So did you carry on giving other dairy? I could try cutting back the small amount of milk that he has to see if it makes a difference but long term he'll need the calcium.

If it's his 'normal', no stomach issues or intolerances, would it help to have him keep a pack of wet wipes (the ones designed for wiping after the loo) in his bag?

The best approach is probably to get him more confident at managing wiping himself as it sounds like he isn't unwell in any way. This will also help him not to hold it in, which is going to make him uncomfortable and prone to accidents which will then be a vicious circle

Try cutting fruit down to one or 2 portions and cutting dairy down. Increase veg intake if poss. If none of that works then to the Dr's x

Is he drinking fruit juice btw either 'real' or cordial? Too much of either can cause diarrhea. Stick to just water and milk or a milk alternative

We had to cut back on the fruit (not veg, just fruit).
So, I was the mother "no dear, lets not eat those grapes, would you like a biscuit instead?"

My 3 yo (at the time) was v similar in terms of poo consistency and no other issues. He had to go on antibiotics for an unrelated injury and within 2 days his poo went to a regular solid consistency and has stayed the same since (it's 3 years later). I've always wondered if he had an underlying infection causing the problem. Possibly not helpful but could be worth asking GP about stool testing.

Similar for my DS at that age. We cut back on his fruit intake, more veg. Soya seemed to help - soya yoghurt, edamame etc.

I mean, when he goes it's VERY messy. I don't expect a 4 year old to be able to deal with that tbh.

No, we stick to water apart from he's allowed one cup of squash a day with dinner and that's it. I make it very weak and it's a small cup so can't be that.

Thanks, this is interesting. I'll bear this in mind if reducing the fruit/milk doesn't help.

My daughter was exactly the same, she always had loose stools with no other noticeable allergy symptoms. After several trips to the doctor, they convinced me this was just normal for her.

Just after she started reception, I changed to a gluten free diet and I changed the family diet too for ease. Within a few days her poo became normal, and her entire personality changed too. All of the behaviour problems went away, her sleep improved and she was generally happier.

I would try cutting out the common allergy culprits and seeing what happens. I wish I had done it sooner.

My daughter has a sensitive stomach and her bodies reaction to most things is loose stools
She has delayed food allergies, teething used to cause horrendous poos, heavy mucus colds make her loose, she had toddler diarrhoea for a while and anxiety has an effect too

For the toddler diarrhoea we stopped stopped grapes, pears, dried fruit and all fruit juice. Increased the amount of fat in her diet and made a couple of lower fibre swaps. White bread instead of brown and avoided things like Weetabix. She was already dairy free but reducing dairy was on the fact sheet.
I would trial removing pure uncooked forms of dairy - cows milk and yoghurt etc. Many of the dairy replacements are fortified to mimic cows milk. You would be looking for a milk that is 3g fat per 100ml (equivalent to full fat milk) and 120 mg of calcium per 100ml. We use oatly barista to avoid my daughters other allergies but there are others on the market.

My daughter is at school now and they have been helping her with cleaning, same with after school club if she asks... getting to ask is harder!

A friend of mine only realised that her 2 year olds lack of solid poos were due to food allergies after she had her second who had more obvious allergy symptoms.

We get behavioural symptoms too @Mummylifeisgoodish we did the egg ladder in the summer she was awful! So moody and argumentative.

Thank you @Mummylifeisgoodish and @Superscientist we have cut out dairy since last weekend but no improvement, and his poos still smell like a farm! Have reduced fruit too to 2 a day. Will keep it up another couple of days and if no change will try cutting out gluten next week.

I tried him on Oatly milk today but he didn't like it, so now I'm really hoping that dairy isn't the culprit as I don't know how I'll get enough calcium into him otherwise.

Interesting that you made a link between intolerances and behaviour - I wonder what that's all about.

My DS was like this for ages and noticed a difference when giving him vitamins.

He has SEN so wouldn't take any vitamins, then I tried again one day, after a week on them I'd say his stools returned to normal

With my daughter it's often that she's in pain but not able to articulate that. She usually won't tell us her tummy hurts but will say it's doesn't hurt any more. When she's in pain she has a shorter fuse and only wants to do what she wants. I get it!

You can get a liquid calcium supplement from oesteocare and there are various calcium gummies but these have coconut and beef gelatine in so we haven't been able to use them. We give it on days when we she's not had a lot of oat milk/yoghurt