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No nap purgatory

4 replies

tudorqueenie · 09/01/2025 06:37

Hello all :) looking to hear some of your experiences and opinions please.
My daughter has recently turned 3 years old. We have always had issues with her sleep but we got to the point where getting her to go to sleep at night took 2.5 hours, no matter what. However, she was always really needing that one nap (she would fall asleep easily then and sleep 2 hours!). So we decided to slowly cut that nap out so that she would not take any naps, in hopes that this would get her sleep pressure up.
For the first two weeks, things were going well. She would fall asleep within ten minutes and sleep for at least 11 hours. However she has been extremely miserable (like - EXTREMELY) all day so following some advice, we offer her a nap during the day. We make sure that we cap her nap and so she always wakes up around noon. Her bedtime is approx 7pm.
However, no matter when bedtime is, she will a) always wake up at 5.30am, terribly tired, unable to go back to sleep; and b) she is miserable during the day and will fall asleep before 10am.
So what on earth to do here? If she does nap, she will not fall asleep until 10pm at night. So overall she doesn’t sleep more than she does without the nap.
But if she doesn’t nap, she still wakes very very early and it becomes a vicious cycle. The nap length does not seem to matter.
many thanks in advance!

OP posts:
KnickerlessFlannel · 09/01/2025 06:48

How long is she napping for now if she falls asleep before 10am but woken at midday? Is she still napping fir over 2 hours or are you capping this? I'd try with 45 mins nap, and also offer some quiet resting time in the PM to keep her going.

tudorqueenie · 09/01/2025 07:25

Sorry, I was being a bit confusing there wasn’t I! I just meant that she is so extremely sleepy that she will just fall asleep at 10am if we let her. We usually start her nap at 11am (if we do offer a nap), and have tried waking her at 11.30am; 11.45am; and 12 noon to see which one works best. She barely wants to wake up and is cranky for two hours. Neither option seems to work so far :((

OP posts:
BookGoblin · 09/01/2025 07:27

This is normal behavior when dropping a nap. Just keep going with no nap and plenty of fresh air in the afternoon and she'll adjust.

CompluterSaysNo · 09/01/2025 07:59

An early nap can sometimes reinforce early waking so it might be worth trying to hold off the nap until after lunch?

The thing with trying new routines is that it can take several days to see an impact and if you make too many adjustments then it's hard to know whether the routine works.

Another thing you can try is alternating nap/no nap and when it's a nap day you let her have a full nap. This can help avoid the grumpiness from being woken early?

This is a difficult stage for lots of parents and there are lots of ways to try and help your child get enough sleep during transition from napping to not - it's really just a case of figuring out what works best for you all!

Good luck!

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