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Original poster

My 7 year old still can't bum wipe very well.

36 replies

frenchnoodle · 19/12/2024 19:45

I'm open to any tips at this point, I've tried increasing his motor skills by wiping chocolate spread off of a plate, trunk twisting exercises. Reminders, "hand over hand" guiding.
These haven't worked.

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Thingymajigii · 19/12/2024 23:58

I told my 8 year old to wipe his own bum tonight and I didn't actually check it to see if it was ok. I suspect it probably wasn't. I'm not quite sure what to suggest as my children still need help too.

user3199 · 20/12/2024 00:32

My 4 year old refuses to even attempt to wipe his own bum unless I've already cleaned it. So I actually find your post reassuring that other children find this difficult too. Sorry that's no help to you though.

Original poster
frenchnoodle · 20/12/2024 05:17

At least we are in this together!

OP posts:
starlight94 · 20/12/2024 05:21

My DS isn't the best at it, but finds it easier with those Andrex washlets

CrocsNotDocs · 20/12/2024 05:26

We had this issue with my brilliantly academic but very literal son who has always struggled with day to day basic stuff.

One time, when he was 8 and I could once again smell him as he came out of the toilet, I reiterated that he needs to wipe at least 6 or more times. He said he always did this. I then had a lightbulb moment and asked if he was using a fresh piece of paper each wipe. He stared at me and I actually saw the wheels ticking and the penny dropping. Never had another problem.

This may not be your son’s problem- I find it hard to believe that there are other boys out there with my son’s Olympic-level doofusness.

Chrbb · 20/12/2024 05:26

Wet wipes?

EatingPeanutButterWithASpoon · 20/12/2024 05:28

Struggling with my 4yo DS so here for tips too.

NameChange1936 · 20/12/2024 05:56

My 5yo struggled until I got very graphic about making sure he wipes "the hole where the poo comes out". I think I had assumed that was obvious, but then realised it was pot luck which bit of his bum he wiped! I had to go back to wiping him a few times, and physically touch his anus with the tissue and say "this is where the poo comes out", show him how to check the tissue is clean, and if not, get a new piece and wipe again. He rarely has a problem now.

BrokenWing · 20/12/2024 06:16

You'll be pleased to know they do get it eventually and my ds(20) wipes his own bum. 🤦🏻‍♀️

He couldn't, or wouldn't, until he was 8-ish as he liked to be clean but couldn't figure it out fully himself . Wet wipes helped, but eventually he wanted the privacy and realised it was a bit embarrassing needing/wanting help and he worked it out.

To save having a blocked toilet we did have to tell him to flush after every few wipes and only use one wet wipe near the end as he used masses of toilet roll until his technique improved!

SeriouslyStressed · 20/12/2024 06:29

Weirdly I knew this would be about a boy.

In fact all the DC on this thread who have issues wiping properly are boys.

Very odd

Chrbb · 20/12/2024 06:32

SeriouslyStressed · 20/12/2024 06:29

Weirdly I knew this would be about a boy.

In fact all the DC on this thread who have issues wiping properly are boys.

Very odd

Is it really? Look at the threads about adult male hygiene, it's not surprising

I have 3 boys BTW
Not hating.

PenguinsAreInASuit · 20/12/2024 07:06

I highly recommend against wet wipes. Even the flushable ones aren’t actually that flushable and cause problems in sewers. I would teach him to fold two squares of paper, and wet it a tiny bit with the tap then wipe front to back. That way the dampness helps clean like a wet wipe without the worry of flushing. Maybe also think about getting a bidet to attach to the toilet.

Chrbb · 20/12/2024 07:11

PenguinsAreInASuit · 20/12/2024 07:06

I highly recommend against wet wipes. Even the flushable ones aren’t actually that flushable and cause problems in sewers. I would teach him to fold two squares of paper, and wet it a tiny bit with the tap then wipe front to back. That way the dampness helps clean like a wet wipe without the worry of flushing. Maybe also think about getting a bidet to attach to the toilet.

Who said to flush them? They can go in a bag in the bin. Some people use washable terry clothes and a bin, like cloth nappies.

PenguinsAreInASuit · 20/12/2024 07:13

Chrbb · 20/12/2024 07:11

Who said to flush them? They can go in a bag in the bin. Some people use washable terry clothes and a bin, like cloth nappies.

Show quote history

That’s true they can, although I think without saying that it’s implied that they will be flushed to anyone who doesn’t know

Verbenabon · 20/12/2024 07:14

I’d recommend Wype gel- you use it on toilet paper and it’s easy to use for kids. Saves them having to put wipes in a bin too.

Timetoread · 20/12/2024 07:15

In my experience, it is not unusual at that age, mine only stopped needing help from about 8.

Westfacing · 20/12/2024 07:17

NameChange1936 · 20/12/2024 05:56

My 5yo struggled until I got very graphic about making sure he wipes "the hole where the poo comes out". I think I had assumed that was obvious, but then realised it was pot luck which bit of his bum he wiped! I had to go back to wiping him a few times, and physically touch his anus with the tissue and say "this is where the poo comes out", show him how to check the tissue is clean, and if not, get a new piece and wipe again. He rarely has a problem now.

Edited

"the hole where the poo comes out"

I was about to emphasise this.

They need to have a visual idea of what it is they are wiping - also to do it when still sitting on the loo if possible so the buttocks are spread a bit. Not too much paper, then have another go with clean paper.

Former paediatric nurse, mother of boys and grandmother to a boy - they get there in the end!

Original poster
frenchnoodle · 20/12/2024 08:33

SeriouslyStressed · 20/12/2024 06:29

Weirdly I knew this would be about a boy.

In fact all the DC on this thread who have issues wiping properly are boys.

Very odd

What an odd thing to say.

OP posts:
Original poster
frenchnoodle · 20/12/2024 08:35

NameChange1936 · 20/12/2024 05:56

My 5yo struggled until I got very graphic about making sure he wipes "the hole where the poo comes out". I think I had assumed that was obvious, but then realised it was pot luck which bit of his bum he wiped! I had to go back to wiping him a few times, and physically touch his anus with the tissue and say "this is where the poo comes out", show him how to check the tissue is clean, and if not, get a new piece and wipe again. He rarely has a problem now.

Edited

Thank you, this is a very good point. I hadn't thought about it before but he might need it all explaining in detail.

OP posts:
PrincessAnne4Eva · 20/12/2024 08:36

Oh thank God it's not just us! Great tips on this thread.

yipyipyop · 20/12/2024 10:18

SeriouslyStressed · 20/12/2024 06:29

Weirdly I knew this would be about a boy.

In fact all the DC on this thread who have issues wiping properly are boys.

Very odd

Take your boy hate to another thread

Lostinbrum · 20/12/2024 10:23

Going against the boys theme suggested by a PP I still have to wipe my 7 year old daughters bum. I encourage her to do it herself and I check by wiping and tell her if the paper is clean or not. Problem is if I don't check and she's not done it well she gets a very sore bum. It's not helped by the fact I think she has an intolerance in her diet and regularly has runny poos

Original poster
frenchnoodle · 20/12/2024 15:12

PrincessAnne4Eva · 20/12/2024 08:36

Oh thank God it's not just us! Great tips on this thread.

Definitely not just you!

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gotohellforheavenssake · 20/12/2024 20:15

Recently I've seen mirrors advertised that stick on the underside of the loo seat so you can see what you are doing, might help?

Original poster
frenchnoodle · 21/12/2024 05:39

gotohellforheavenssake · 20/12/2024 20:15

Recently I've seen mirrors advertised that stick on the underside of the loo seat so you can see what you are doing, might help?

Could you link to these, I had a quick search but am unable to find them

Thank you.

OP posts: