When Does It Become a Speech Delay?

[ladybird30]

So I've posted a couple of times in the past about my DS speech. Although I wasn't overly concerned at the time, it was niggling away at me so I sought other people's opinions/experiences but I think now I am starting to worry a little...

My DS is 20 months and we still don't really have a lot of words... He says Mama, Dada, Baba, Nana, Yeah and what sounds like 'oh dear' but I'm not convinced he understands the meaning behind these words fully yet.

I just don't know at what point it becomes an issue... I've flagged it with our HV and we have attended early words sessions but they just told me what I'd already researched myself.

I think he does understand some things I say to him such as 'come here DS' or if I call his name he will react or come and find me etc and he chats way to himself in toddler babble almost all day but I just feel he's a little behind for his age, or am I just overthinking?

We have a lot of neurodivergence on both sides of the family and sometimes I wonder if I'm just very conscious of that... I'm not sure! Would love to hear other people's experiences with their little ones

I recall being in a similar place with my first DC. He didn't have a lot of words either at that age, and it was hard not to compare him to other children who seemed to be starting to talk in complete sentences! However, his speech really picked up as he approached 2, and pretty soon he was talking fine. With the benefit of hindsight I can see that I was comparing him to one or two other children whose speech was particularly advanced, and that it is perfectly normal not to have many words by 2. You can help him by emphasising simple words used a lot in speech (up, cup, down, open, shut, dog, door etc.) by repeating them a lot, clearly, with pointing. It's also entirely possible that he is trying to say the words but his pronunciation is so bad that you don't understand what he is saying! It will get better. So if you can, I would try not to worry too much at this stage. It is too early to worry about a speech delay. See how he is at 2 - 2.5 - I wouldn't worry until then.

@chickpea1982 Yes, I'm holding out for this language explosion at 2 that a lot of people talk about. But you're right, you can't help but compare can you! There was a little girl 3 weeks older than him at the play cafe the other day who was, clear as day, saying things like 'Mummy drink' and 'Cuddle Mummy' and it does make your heart sink a tiny bit with Mum guilt.

I use a lot of repetition and the same phrases for certain things so I'm hoping it's all sinking in, but perhaps not coming out just yet

My mum always likes to remind me of her friend's son, who could barely say anything at 2 but is now literally a brain surgeon!

I wouldn't worry too much at the moment as difficult as that is, try not to compare to peers. Just do some reinforcement of words, keep reading books and give encouragement and keep an eye on things. I wouldn't be concerned until he's a bit older - health visitors love putting the fear into parents early on! I wouldn't worry too much for the next 6ish months and keep an eye on his development.

The variation of “normal” at that age is enormous. I’d prioritise understanding, is he listening, can he hear you. If in doubt, a hearing test is normally a good place to start. I thinking waiting a couple more months would be reasonable in your shoes? And in the meantime keep going with whatever you’re doing to expose him to as much language as possible.

Dd is 2 yrs 1 month and has only just started talking more in the last month. She has loads more words and says the occasional 3 word sentence. But she's objectively behind her peers. There's a lot of babbling going on but not as many words as a lot of her friends. But she's an only child and doesn't go to nursery yet (crèche for a couple of hours 3/4 times a week) so I think that may be holding her back a bit. She starts at a nursery in May so I'm hoping that she's a bit more advanced by then.....

I understand as our youngest was a slow speaker - he showed fantastic understanding though - he could point out the red car blue car etc and count just no real sentences - he needed grommets (3 times!) and he passed his first hearing test at 2 but failed spectacularly at age 2 ¾ and after he got his ears fixed he language exploded - just to keep an eye on hearing as a possible cause

My son didn't start saying sentences until he was 2. I wouldn't worry

@CookieMonster28 Thank you, yes, trying not too over think it too much. I think my worry is that if there's an issue, it'll get missed or we'll end up on waiting lists far later than we should of been.

But fingers crossed in a few months he'll have made some good progress

@Zapx Yes, this is what the speech therapist mentioned as well. Definitely working on his understanding alongside words. He's getting fairly good at understanding basic phrases that I repeat a lot and things like his name

@Gracelet That's reassuring to hear. Definitely holding out for the language explosion when he hits 2. I've had a lot of people say similar

@JudyP Yes, I'm keeping a close eye on him for hearing issues. I think his hearing is okay as he will respond to me but my OH had a lot of issues with glue ear as a child which affected his learning, so it's always in the back of my mind

Unless there's something more major going on like palate or feeding issues I don't expect there's much really be done formally at this age, it's more read to him lots, talk lots, repeat the words. My middle boy was flagged up around this age for early concerns, but he was 4.5 before we started speech therapy. It can be useful to write down observations of speech, behaviour, sleep and so on incase it does come to a formal assessment either for speech or ND but at this stage its watch and wait. At 20 months this could still be normal speech development. It's easier to see if there's actually any issues round 2.5.

My middle boy had significant delays at 4 years old, as in 18 months to 2 year delays in everything, receptive and expressive speech delays, fine motor, gross motor, social skills, personal care. We didn't start formal speech therapy until he was 4.5, then he had 3 years of weekly speech therapy amongst other interventions. He is Autistic as are both his siblings. He's pretty much caught up in everything and ahead in some areas now at 9. His younger brother also had significant speech issues though in a different way, endlessly talked but it was completely incomprehensible. He's still in the process of learning how to make all the sound combinations but 90% understandable after 2 years of speech therapy.

Grace is really coming on, day by day, I'm really surprised! I echo the others, you don't have to worry at this stage.

Not speaking does not mean not communicating

Read a lot. Point to words. Show him letters m is for mum (My ds with asd could read early but uses aac to speak )

Use signs photos to supplement Audio
Let s go to the park point to photo of park
(maybe he then showsthe photo to ask for park)

Get eyes and hearing tested

Talk with him a lot and limit screens. Include him in lots of conversations. I'm sure you're doing these things, but in case. Also, try to get him to repeat back what he wants.

My middle child was 3 before he spoke. He had an all purpose noise with different inflections depending on what he was asking for. Then he spoke a full sentence. Apparently some children do learn to speak like that. If he'd been a child today he'd be diagnosed with ADHD, not sure if that had any bearing though.

He's going to start a doctorate next year so slow speaking doesn't mean a child has any learning difficulties.

Definitely focus on his understanding. Children need to understand a minimum number words before they say any. What is his understanding like? Responding to name and “come here” are 12 month milestones really. Can he follow and understand a story such as The Gruffulo?

If he has good baby babble then it’s unlikely to be a speech delay (difficulty producing the different sounds e.g “k” “m” etc needed for speech). It sounds like a receptive language delay which is then impacting on his expressive language.

Have you done any signing with him? Or picture exchange? How is his attention?

@Notthebeard yes, I think you're right.

I tried sign with him but we didn't get very far. He loves sitting with picture books and he'll point at things and I'll name them. His attention is good if its something he's interested in.

I honestly couldn't tell you if he's able to understand stories. He certainly sits and listens very engrossed and will point at the pictures

That’s very good that he likes books, mostly likely he is understanding something as he is engaging with them. And a great sign that his attention is good too.

Some ideas to help you gauge his understanding and help his understanding develop further. Ask him to point to objects in books - the chicken, to Goldilocks, to the red car etc, the mouse behind the clock.

Will he do role play with you? Set up a tea party for a teddy bear and a dolly with lots of food and utensils and give him instructions on what to do. “Can you give teddy the fork? I think he is hungry. And dolly needs the blue plate. Which one is blue? Etc

Or if he enjoys hiding games, hide a few of his toys around the room and ask him to find them. “It’s near the chair. Under the table. Behind a pillow.”

How does he currently tell you what he wants?

What happened with the signing? And how old was he when you tried? Does he wave hello/ goodbye, beckon for come here etc? If so, all of these are signs and so he hopefully would be able to learn signing. It really is such an easy way to communicate once they start to pick up a few signs so worth persevering if it can work for your son.