Should I be worried about 7yo behaviour?

[ThisLoyalEagle]

Hi - my son is a loving, funny 7yo but I'm really worried about him.

He has always been a hangry boy and not always enjoyed some social situations but he is doing well at school so I've tried not to worry too much.

However, a relative is a homeopath and has asked whether we've considered he has autism, add, adhd. I don't think he meets the criteria but that he perhaps has some sort of anxiety. The behaviours I am potentially worried about are:

1. He doesn't like new/busy situations i.e starting a new club, queuing at theme parks

1. He does it less now but will hit my husband in frustration (which leads to my husband shouting?

1. He's shy when he sees friends randomly when not expected i.e. when we're out shopping.

1. He can have meltdowns. He then acts like nothing has happened when they pass

1. We can be on eggshells trying not to trigger him to blow up. Weekends if at home are tricky.

He sleeps and eats fine but has just the past 2 months started worrying about germs and handwashing too much and asking about expiry dates on foods.

Should I speak to someone and, if so, who? His teacher hasn't noticed anything in school.

Thanks so much!!

First one. Totally normal. Many adults feel the same!

Second one. More worrying. How hard does he hit, in what circumstances, how frequently, does he hit anyone else?

Third. Very common! I can't be the only one to look away if I see a colleague out and about, or on the bus, can I?

Four. What's a meltdown for him? Is it when massively hungry/tired (I think that wouldn't be that unusual)? Or in transitions, if you don't do what he asks?

Five. Why? What would happen for him to blow up? Does he have good routines and do you set boundaries and have consequences? How much time does he spend on devices, could it be related to that?

Hitting is probably a couple of time a month when he is hungry, frustrated or trying to get attention. He only does it to dad.

Meltdowns/blow ups are probably once a week r fortnight when we get home from being out, if hungry or bored. He will cry and scream for maybe up to 5 minutes then stop and be fine. We try and leave him to stop as he doesn't want us near him when he's upset.

We have reduced screen time this past week and tried to give more 121 time which I think might be helping but early days.

The handwashing is worrying and new. He has reduced it now but won't eat anything without washing them first or sanitising them which was difficult at a recent party as he refused food.

I think the only worrying things to keep an eye on are the hygiene worries, and the hitting.

What do his school say - is he eating ok there? I’d keep a close eye on it. Food really doesn’t need to be sanitised.

For the bitting - 1:1 time, reduced device time etc sounds good. Also has dad talked in quiet times, in a calm way, how upsetting it is? When I was around that age I stole change from my parents and bought sweets with it (a number of times).

When they found out, they sat me down, so serious and grave, and talked about how worried they were about it. It really stuck with me and I have been scrupulously honest ever since. Maybe something like that, at 7?

For the meltdowns, I’d just keep a close eye on hunger and tiredness and try prevention.

I am no expert! Just sitting here wishing you luck.