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Toilet training in my 3.5 year old

4 replies

Tonihawkesmceknzie · 25/11/2024 22:09

Hi

I’m looking for some support and advice. We began toilet training my 3.5 year old little girl about a year ago now. So she would have been just over 2.5 when we began. She is quite a smart child and was talking from
an early age, so we thought she was ready to give it ago. Fast forward a year, and she still has multiple wee accidents on a daily basis. Our days consist of me asking her and reminding her if she needs a wee, as she will rarely just tell me she needs to go, and when she has an accident it doesn’t seem to bother her. She will sometimes tell me she’s wet, but won’t be upset by it! We have tried everything, from sticker charts and rewards, to different types of pants, but nothing seems to change. I question whether she even realises she’s going at times, or whether she can feel it when she begins to go. We always really praise her when she has a really good day, and the accidents are at a minimum. Im
basically at a bit of a loss as to what to do now. She goes to preschool five days a week and Im faced with piles and piles of wet washing every day when she comes home. Preschool have been hugely supportive, and keep a toilet log every day, and take her to the toilet every half a hour, to try and make sure they can keep her dry. I've spoken to the GP, and she’s had urine tests to rule out infection. Ultimately the doctors won’t really help or get concerned until she’s over 5 years of age. Has anyone experienced similar, can offer any advice, or point me in the direction of some professional help? I worry that if this doesn’t improve as she gets older and starts school next year, it will become an embarrassing issue for her, as her awareness increases. It probably sounds awful and selfish to say, but I’m finding it’s really getting me down as time goes on and nothing seems to be improving. It’s also exhausting having to prep for everyday with multiple sets of clothing, and factoring in lots of toilet trips every where we go.

Any advice will be hugely appreciated!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
OneOfLittleConsequence · 25/11/2024 22:21

Put her back in nappies or pull ups. With our first we did this and drove ourselves crazy. Eventually, one evening, he announced ’no nappies - pants!’ And has been dry since.

second child is 2. He’s interested in the toilet and potty but won’t sit and try. I figure we will get there. And this time it’s less stress, less mess.

TooManyAnimals94 · 25/11/2024 22:25

Is it worth doing a reset? Stay at home, no underwear, straight on the toilet every time.e she shows signs?

Sounds like she's not making the connection between needing to go and what happens next.

There's no way I'd go back to nappies once you're this far down the road.

Brinkley22 · 28/11/2024 20:35

We had a verrrrrry long road with one of my DCs. Reading your post, I think I would do the opposite of what you are doing now. It sounds like you are working really hard at reminding her, sticker charts, etc etc which is not working. I would try and stop doing that; try and be super chilled about it (I know how hard that is). I would take the pressure off her totally.
So if you’re playing or she’s drawing and you see her weeing (so pant free might be best), say “oh look wee wee is coming, let’s whizz to the toilet!”, make it fun. I wouldn’t actually praise her; just make it totally matter of fact.
Also do some watching… are there any signs that she needs a wee, like jumping up and down or putting her hands between her legs? If you notice these, then I would tell her a story about a little girl who felt a tingle and started jumping up and down and then she knew it was time to have a wee! Or something like that.
also the Eric website might be helpful : )

Brinkley22 · 28/11/2024 20:38

Because I think if I was being taken to the loo or reminded to go or asked if I needed to go so many times a day I would feel so fed up! And I would want to avoid the loo at all costs 😀

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