10 month old help

[99SR]

hi there,

so I should preface this by saying I went to my drs today and have been prescribed medication for my anxiety. However she didn’t put my mind at ease with anything else.

I have a 10 month old baby. Who is my absolute world. However I’m really struggling at the minute. I’m obsessed with thinking she’s autistic. I know rationally it’s way too early to diagnose these things as a lot of the symptoms are similar to normal child development milestones. I just need reassurance from other parents that she is developing as she should (also should state that this isn’t intended to offend people with autism, if she is I’d love her all the same).

so she flaps her hands when she’s excited ie if she she sees me or her dad, she rubs her feet along the carpet too or twirls her feet when we’re out in the buggy. She can be a fussy eater. She HATES getting dressed (not too bad with the nappy). She is just learning to stand but often stands on her toes. She was late crawling and only started in the past two weeks. She has had bad reflux since she was born (someone told me this is typical in children with autism).

skills she has learned: responds to own name, has good eye contact during play/singing songs etc, lifts hands to be picked up out her high chair, can clap, smiley, babbles and can say mama, good sleeper.

She has recently started screeching at the top of her lungs randomly! please someone reassure me that this is all normal development and that she’s just being fussy as we’re going through leap 7!

thanks

From what I remember of my 2 DDs at that age, yours sounds fine.

Fussy eating: they are people, actual people, and as such they have preferences. Some like carrots, some don't. One of mine liked brand x of baby food, the other refused it and only ate brand y. Sometimes, they would move on, flavourwise, and something that had been acceptable would no longer be ok.

If your DD is eating well and growing, you're doing it right :) You're both learning what she prefers. This might tie in with her reflux - maybe she knows by smell or sight foods which disagree with her.

Hand flapping - my older dd used to flap her hands at things she didn't like in a sort of 'make it stop' way. Rubbing on carpet and twirling ankles might just be enjoying movement and textures. Standing on tiptoes is probably similar - babies need to build a lot of muscle to be able to walk and they have crazy work-out schemes that their instincts give them. One of my DDs went through a phase of stepping on and off curbs. It was really irritating but I realised she was practising this essential skill.

Crawling - DD1 did not crawl until 10mos; she progressed quickly to walking. DD2 did everything sooner but I'm convinced that is because she had DD1 modelling it. From what little I have read, many who are later considered autistic never crawled and skipping this stage of crossbody coordination is a thought to be a sign.

screeching - some babies go through a phase of testing out their voices. Unless you can identify some particular stimulus for the screeching, you should probably consider it very loud babbling.

clothing - Many people like soft clothing. If your DD prefers her pj's maybe look at how her daytime clothes compare. If these are all stiff jeans or corduroys or scratchy lace maybe she's trying to let you know that.

I have heard of many babies with reflux and other digestion problems. None I know turned out to be autistic. This is an area where the medics should be able to help since it is physical: milk allergy or other food intolerance? pyloric valve issues? Unless it's improving, this is something I'd pursue with the GP or HV.

Hang in there - it sounds like you're both doing fine.

My DS will be 11months tomorrow and does all these things except doesn't respond to his name yet.

DD is autistic and didn't do any of the things your DD is doing that you are concerned about. Wasn't a flapper, didn't tiptoe walk, did make eye contact, spoke / signed early and had good communication, responded to her name.

The surest way to know if your child is likely to be autistic is to look through yours and her dad's family tree. Autism is hereditary so no signs in other family members then the chances are no autism.

You have the child you have, so parent them in the way it suits them and you. Step away from the child development books and observing every detail and have faith in your instincts a bit more.

thanks for everyone’s responses.
@tarheelbaby thanks for your reply, really insightful. I’m trying to be more rational and your answer helps me with that! I guess it’s a learning phase for both my daughter and I!

@Oldermum84 does your LO flap his arms and legs? I think that’s the thing that’s worrying me the most. I suppose she’s super excited and that’s her way to tell me.

@Singleandproud I didn’t mean to cause any offence. As I said it’s more my anxiety than the actual autism! Good to know, none of our families have any asn diagnosis. You’re right about me having to step away from Google etc! Thanks

My DD flapped her arms and kicked her legs lots. And did some of the other things you’ve described. And didn’t crawl till 11 months. She’s 2 and a half now, with no signs of autism.

I know it’s easier said than done, but try to relax and enjoy your wonderful daughter.

The reason you were given medication for anxiety and not reassured about your child is because your child is fine and the problem is your anxiety.

Your anxiety is what is making you constantly look for problems were there are none. If we reassure you about this, you will find a new issue.

If you do not control your anxiety and start to transfer it to concerns about your child you are going to harm them.

Concentrate on dealing with your anxiety - this means you should not be posting concerns about your child on forums as this feeds it.

I've got an 11 month old and shrieking is her new favourite thing. It is so random and can go on a while. I hate it!

She's not really standing yet, but I've noticed she'll stick her big toes up when she does.

I'm as confident as I can be that she's not autistic.

She doesn't flap or twirl, but I've got friends whose (non autistic) babies did this.

I remember worrying about (non autistic) DS when he was little as he didn't point or clap for a while, and went through a long period of lining up cars. Apparently that's just a "schema" some go through when they're toddlers, but it did make me panic, I must admit.

I think, as a parent, it's natural to over analyse and worry about our littles ones being ND or ill or developing any sort of issue that could make life harder for them.

Your DD sounds like she's developing really well to me.

Hopefully as she continues to grow and advance, this will offer you more reassurance x