Daughters painful periods

[Passivelypresent]

Hello I'm just after some advice! Daughter started periods at 9, settled straight onto a regular cycle. Usual patterns etc. Now 12. The last few cycles on the day she starts her period she gets very sudden onset, really painful tummy ache, feels sick, sweaty, headache usually comes on within an hour or two of these symptoms.

The problem is she has just started seniors and they are militant about attendance, and won't send home. Today she was fine when she left the house, no period though I did think it would come today due to her being unusually tearful last night.

By ten o'clock she was shaking, in pain, felt sick etc. Managed to sneak her phone to message me after being brushed off by head of year at 12.30 and I collected her shortly afterwards and now she is in trouble for using her phone.

I really don't want to put her on the pill at her age, I feel as though that's an absolute last resort and may well cause more harm than good but I don't want her feeling this way and certainly not whilst at school. Particularly when she can't independently access pain relief.

I'm thinking of premptively giving her a dose of nurfoen on the day (s) she could well start whilst at school. It's not something I would usually do but it seems once it has a hold of her it's much harder to get on top of

Has anyone any better ideas? Tia

I have severe endometriosis and these patches have been amazing for me

They're best removed in the shower/bath and smell like vicks! If she has very sensitive skin I wouldn't recommend but I've had no issues

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Ibuprofen and Mefenamic acid tablets are so much better than paracetamol/Calpol for period pain. Unless your DD takes the tablets in the classroom, her teachers won't know. I tried the mini pill and that made my symptoms worse. It helps for other women though.

Thank you all for your replies. I have taken notes of all the suggestions and will go armed to discuss with the GP and then I'm going to ask for a meeting with the school. Locally (teeside) she's actually in one of the better schools, results wise they are all about the same, but behaviour/ experience - this is actually one of the better ones. I have a lot of respect for the teachers but the whole bloody system drives me mad. They seem to expect the same level of "resilience" and independence from 11/12 year olds as they do their yr 11s and it just boggles my mind that they think they have some kind of superiority and control above mine as a parent.

I'm waiting to find out if she has a detention for using her phone. This is a child who has never so much as needed to be spoken to in her school experience from being three, potentially having a detention next to children who have sworn at teachers or hit someone. For contacting her mum when the people who should be caring for her refused to. So that will be an interesting conversation should she be punished.

I started at 10. I'm 20 now and they're "fine". What I'm trying to say is that things will get better. I've been through some HORRIBLE periods, particularly when I was 12-13.
I'm appalled at the school though. I and a couple of other girls were so often excused things. The school nurse was often called in to prove that we weren't "faking" but we never were. They used to contact my mother, which was sometimes annoying because by the time I got home I could be OK, so she initially wondered how genuine my horrors were.
I have to say that I was lucky between the ages of 11 and 16 that I went to an all-girls school. If boys had been poking their noses into the situation, l'm sure it would have been different.

This has been really interesting. My DD is 13 and only had periods for the last year. Some months they’ve been awful. She has fainted at school etc. I have to say, like your DD, mine’s a rule follower but I’ve said to her just to take ibuprofen in with her and have it at lunchtime. It does seem to make a difference if you can catch the pain before it properly takes hold.

Hello just popping back to say there wasn't any punishment for using her phone. I have checked with the school and there are no medical staff/ nurse only a trained first aider for accidents so I've sent an email in explaining the situation, my plans to pre emptively medicate to keep her comfortable on days I am expecting her to come on her period, but an insistence that if she approaches a teacher to ask to be sent home, then they need to understand for her to have the courage to approach someone, she is already at the stage that she needs to come home, that I don't want her being told to see how she is after dinner/ drink water/ try for the toilet or any other excuse to keep her there. That I can and will collect at any time. I have told them I am seeking further medical advice and am going to ask for a meeting once I have got those to set a care plan for how we will manage going forward.

Thanks again for everyone's help and suggestions

Well done @Passivelypresent

I had awful periods as teenager, very similar would be on all fours crying in pain / throwing up. The only way was to take ibuprofen and paracetamol before the pain started, if I waited till it was full force it was soooo much worse.

I would be on 2 ibuprofen then three hours later 2 paracetamol then three hours later 2 ibuprofen….for two days until it calmed down.

If her period pain is very bad, get Feminax & buscopan for the cramps, give her a dose just before she goes to school with her breakfast & some in her pocket to take at lunchtime if she needs them. Keep on taking her to the doctors & stress how much they are affecting her education, you could pay for a letter to school covering the fact that she needs pain relief regularly & is able to manage it herself. Have you thought of those heat packs that you shake to activate & can stick inside clothing then dispose of? Maybe along with the painkillers these would help her.