I don’t know if my child’s behaviour is normal or something more to it?

[AbbyDx]

Hi, I’m new here. I have a 24 month old boy and he is fab! He sleeps well, eats well and most of the time he is happy. I wanted to post this to see if anyone has been or is in the same boat as I am
with their little one, any advice or insight would be great as I’m getting no answers or really any progress with anything at the moment.
his lack of understanding is pretty bad, he can’t talk, he makes lots of noises like grunting/screeching laughing all those things but can’t say any words, doesn’t answer when asked a question or anything like that. If you ask him to do something he hasn’t got a clue what you’re saying and just cannot/won’t do it. He rarely interacts in playing with anything, he loves playing peekaboo and loves being chased he finds it so funny. But don’t role play or toys he rarely has an interest in. He hasn’t long got the hang of drinking from a beaker in the days and he was obsessed with his baby bottle and still loves it now! He has great eye contact, smiles at us/people. He gets upset quite easily I think that comes down to his lack of understanding and frustration. He has started a nursery for 2.5 hours a day 5 days a week recently so im hoping this will help him develop. It is so difficult not seeing much progress, he does clap his hands when asked and loves to point at things now. I just wanted to come on here to see if anyone has had any similar experiences and what were your outcomes? He seems still in the baby stage in some things. He hasn’t got any of the typical autism traits that you hear of so I’m stuck between whether he could have it or not every day. He is under a pediatrician. He also finds the tags on his clothes and likes to hold them or put them in his mouth when he does. Sorry for the long post!!

My first thought was have you had his hearing throroughly tested?

Yes we have, we are waiting to get the high frequency result as couldn’t get it last time but do have an appointment lined up for it. Overall his hearing does look good. He loves loud music noise/lights/sounds nothing like that bothers him.

Id suggest hearing too. The lack of speech isn't necessarily concerning if he communicates in other ways. Does he give any gestures for yes or no?
In my experience there can be big developments that happen between 2 and 2.5. So might just be a case of waiting a bit longer before worrying.
But do consider a hearing test

He just whines or cries and we sort of figure out what he wants from there, whether it be a snack, his bottle or tired/unwell. He doesn’t gesture for yes or no , which makes it all much harder. Yes im hoping to see some changes in him in the coming months just feels like he’s been in the same space for sooo long!

At 2 having no words at all is unusual but more concerning is if he really has no understanding of what you’re saying to him. I wondered about hearing too but I see you’ve had that tested. How sure are you that he doesn’t understand you? Does he recognise when he’s being spoken to? Turn his head when you say his name? Does he respond if you ask a question together with making a gesture - eg “Would you like a drink?” whilst holding out a cup or “Can I have that toy?” whilst holding out your hand?

Why is he under a paediatrician? What do they say?

Does he like to look at book?
Do you shpw him books with pictures ball, car etc?
They need to hear a word lots of times to repeat it.
If you say juice? Will he shake head or nod etc?

Do you do things like wheres daddy? There he is!

Will he do actions to songs like wind the bobbin up/see the little lions sleeping.

He sounds just like my little boy who is 3/ almost 4. He had very very little speech at 2.5 and also really struggled with understanding as well. We believe he has autism so we are currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis with the support of preschool. We also had a hearing test but all seemed fine, the real concern for me was the lack of understanding.

For what it's worth he now talks all the time! His speech has really blossomed over the last 1.5 years. He can't really have a conversation yet but he chatters away all the time, loves rhymes, numbers, books and knows the names of most things. His understanding has improved hugely as well, no where near the level of his peers yet but he can understand basic questions and instructions etc. You might find your little one's speech and understanding comes on really really quickly which is what has happened for my son. The beginning for his speech was actually counting and it all spiralled from there.

I think for me it was the lack of understanding that really highlighted that something else was at play for my son. I'm not comparing whatsoever but my youngest son is 16 months and his understanding is the same as my eldests when he was 2.5/ just turned 3 so it has sort of confirmed what I had been thinking.

You say your son likes music, does he dance, laugh, move his arms about in time to it? Some children really do communicate with music (mine did). He might also like to see people singing and playing instruments on TV and try to join in.

Also just to add, my son also does make good eye contact, very affectionate and doesn't really struggle with meltdowns or anything like that. As he gets older though some things are becoming more clear such as sensory issues, avoids interaction with other children etc. I was very on the fence but as he gets older it's become more obvious to me but we will wait to see what happens during his assessment.

Just if you ask him to give us something or pick up something that’s he’s dropped or just basic requests he just looks at you and just either runs away or carries on doing whatever he is doing. Yes he responds to his name every time, if you ask him if he wants a drink you have to show him his bottle or his food for him to know then he will just reach out for it and take it or doesn’t if he doesn’t want it. He sometimes gives us his toy if we ask and he likes to bring us stuff that he has found for us to look at but it’s not all the time.

He’s only had one appointment and the lady just said he is behind for his age, he doesn’t show any of the usual signs of autism as eye contact and the way he engages in his surroundings and people are normal and good for his age, he is present in every situation he likes other children ect doesn’t show them a huge interest but he’s only just turned 2. He has to have blood tests and a mri scan, an eeg and he’s under a genetics team, just to cover all bases I suppose.

He likes to look at books yes he flips the pages & shows us the books and we read/play with them he loves the interacting books that make noises ect. He’s not interested in flash cards he just throws them and gets fed up and cries. Won’t shake or nod his head, no. Yes we always do that and he looks around everywhere and gets excited then when that person comes in he will beam with happiness! No doesn’t copy any songs or anything

He likes adult music, adult music videos. Doesn’t show a huge interest in nursery rhymes. He sometimes bops up and down to the song but doesn’t try and dance.. he loves to watch other toddlers on tele and he loves animals and points at dogs or the horses when we are out and about.

Aww it’s so lovely to hear he’s progressed and come on in his development! I really hope this is the same for my boy, it’s so disheartening not having him try and talk to me and tell me things in his little voice I’ve never heard his voice and it just gets me down! Yes total lack of understanding for my son too, I know the speech will come it’s just the basic commands he should be able to do, he just can’t and it’s got to a point where I just need to why!

@AbbyDx

I have every confidence that it will happen for your little boy also when he's ready. I know how disheartening and worrying it is and it's a feeling I won't forget anytime soon. He told me he loved me the other day and me and DH were just so emotional as was just amazing to hear. The understanding will come it may just take a little longer for your DS. At 24 months my ds could make a dinosaur noise and say no and that was literally it no other understanding whatsoever and within a year he was talking all the time and then I would say between 2.5 and now is when his understand has really improved. He can follow basic instructions and also tell us his needs, if he's hungry/ wants to go outside etc and he is still developing all the time.

It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job so keep doing everything you are to encourage his speech in the meantime.

On a practical note, aside from reading and lots of talking which you're already doing anyway, some of the shows which have really helped with DS speech are:

Yakka Dee
Twirly woos
Miss Katie
The Wiggles ( great for songs and dancing)

Aww thank you so much it’s so nice to talk to someone who has experienced something like I’m going through. That is lovely that he told you he loved you, my son clapped his hands when asked the other day and it was amazing! We all hyped it up and he loved the excitement we all showed him!

It’s so hard when you see other children his age or younger being so forward I try not to compare but my god it’s difficult! I want to enjoy his toddler years before they’re over I don’t want to waste them worrying all the time. I feel a little better speaking about it.
i will definitely check those out and see if it can help! Thank you. X

Does he like programmes like peppa pig? As there are some repeating themes like 'muddy puddles' etc. With the actions like jumping etc.
Even things like alphablocks. As they sound out the words but also use the pictures too.

Does he like toddler groups? As with new toys they more often bring you things. Which youu can then label and then say things like 'do you like the ball? Thats a big ball. Shall we bounce it. They also often do the same nursery rhymes weekly. With the other kids demonstrating actions.

My friends younger boy didnt walk till 2 and then spoke at 3. He does have some sen but like pp he did speak and was speaking well within a year.
Reading easy toddler books, generally labelling and narrating what he is doing or picking up,
I thonk once they are talking a bit it spirals fast as they ask for things

My DS sounded similar at that age, but as time went on we could see clear patterns of atypical development, and now he is very likely ASD. Still a happy, lovely, curious, smiley and sociable little boy, and still always developing, albeit at a different rate to majority of his peers.

Paediatrician we are under did a tick box exercise which wasn’t entirely useful, but he referred us for bloods, which came back clear, a hearing test and SALT. Hearing test passed no problems. SALT (NHS speech and language therapist) were the most helpful for us in determining DS language acquisition, and it turns out to be very in line with hyperlexic / gestalt language processor, with a bit of analytic thrown in. (Google it if unsure) Essentially this helped me understand so much about how my son’s brain works. He’s a whole > parts thinker and it’s more typical for development of language to begin at around 2 - 2.5 years for a GLP, rather than the neurotypical earlier ages. I both worry and don’t worry about it! Our portage worker said that she think our DS will be fully verbal, and in terms of likelihood, it’s far more likely that your child will gain verbal speech than not.

My son is a very visual thinker (common for hyperlexic / GLP) and learned quite a lot from YouTube and flashcards, more so than me just speaking to him. Things like teletubbies helped him understand certain concepts, given that it’s repetitive and very visual, and other things such as Oxbridge baby and baby Einstein. Also use subtitles as he enjoys ‘reading’ the words aloud. Lots of jargon, lots of verbal stimming round here, and some comprehensible stuff in between! We’ve reduced asking questions and kept things factual, along with using highly intonated speech and song.

In your case it could be speech delay, or it could be something neurodivergent such as autism. With a speech delay there would typically be a lot of non-verbal communication and understanding though, just limited / no verbal speech. You could always mention speech and language / worries about autism to get the ball rolling, as IMO it doesn’t hurt to mention these things. If you stay silent you might not get the support in place.

@BePearlSheep really helpful info you've added for OP. My DS has also been identified as a GLP by SALT which gives a lot of insight into how he learns and the best ways we can help him.

hi any updates ? Please xx