8 year old stealing?

[Stripyseason]

So confused and looking for gentle help.

my 8 year old has has a tough / weird month or 2, started with a never- found - out- what -it - was virus that lingered on and on and she missed start of new term and new class so not a great start. She’s found school hard to settle in since, lots of anxious tummies and best part of day is “home time”. You get the picture. She’s got some friends in her class but definitely not found her firm group yet. Behaviour in school is apparently excellent.
Some slightly ocd behaviours at home with repetitive hand washing for “germs” the gp has told me to firmly ignore and they’ll pass, and some excessive blinking which he again says is a transient tic and to ignore.

but today she came out of school and looked quite pleased - which is a welcome change to her usual relief at the bell ringing. She told me on the walk home that she “stole” 3 little things - a pencil top rubber, a stone and a hair band, all things she found lying around and not stolen from a bag /person. I looked at them and they’re utterly meaningless- an eraser? Old used hair tie? But she was so pleased I’m worried it’s some new behaviour that helps her feel in control in some odd way? GP is so adamant I’m to ignore the other stuff I’m certain he’ll tell me the same with this, but it’s odd right? No one to return them to as she found them Lying around but it’s like a little collection that she’s happy with. Google is NOT helpful but seems to assume a child would steal eg another child’s toy out their bag, not some random object though I guess it technically does belong to someone else who dropped / discarded it.

what do I do? Keep ignoring and madly keeping things as calm as possible? I asked Gp previously about mental health and he said waiting lists are nearly 2 years and she’s nowhere near the threshold for referral ☹️feel so helpless.

I think she's not helping things by calling it stealing. It's not really, it's finding treasures, and that's quite normal I think.

My son came home pleased as punch with a chestnut and a pine cone and a heart shaped rock he'd found at the park last weekend.

It was my daughter who used the word “stealing” and seemed please no one “saw her”. Am i just totally overreacting 🤦‍♀️

If my child came out with the things mentioned in your post, I wouldn't think twice

Well it's really good she told you! Keep an eye, because children steal from others who have what they want, and I'm not talking about material goods. Popular kid in school? Take their hairband. Academic child? Take their pencil stopper.

I’d be more concerned about the OCD tendencies than the stealing and would keep a very close eye on it. I am guessing this is a response to trauma and need to be in control. The random objects may be ‘lucky’ charms type things, again could be linked to the OCD tendencies.

However stealing is stealing and if it happens agan, I’d tell her she can’t just remove things from
the classroom without asking her teacher first and she needs to return them.

Have you spoken to school about her anxiety? Can they offer any insights? Anything happen at home? Any inappropriate viewing? Older kids around?

Is there any child psychologist you can access? OCD is more likely to escalate than disappear. You are right, it is her way of trying to control things. She needs support and love. She can’t overcome this without support.

That’s interesting. I do wonder about that as know she’s struggled with friendships and often talks about others in a slightly envious way….

Try to reassure her how wonderful and loved she is. Sounds like she's a bit insecure at the moment.

I’ve no funds for private therapy / psychology and the wait time is nearly 2 years according to GP And he said she doesn’t anywhere near meet the threshold for referral and that most kids go through periods of transient tics/ some ocd behaviour after tough time which she has with this lingering virus that really knocked her and meant she missed the first 2 weeks of school. But I’m worried as prior to this she’s had 0 problems at all -
so it’s odd. But 2 gp’s have said just ignore it and it will pass 🤷‍♀️

I do tell her this all the time, to the point her older sister is getting fed up with all the attention gọimg to her little sister! But I do think for whatever reason she’s needing a lot of reassurance just now 😔

If it's only been for the last month or two, then I would give it a bit more time before I start worrying

No trauma at home but virus was horrid and really knocked her off her feet. and clashed with school starting back. She’s Been a lot more clingy and as I said doing some repetitive handwashing and some blinking tics that suggest anxiety to me but Gp says quite common and to ignore it which I’m trying to do but it’s haaaard ☹️

Mine hasn't had any OCD things but I'm sure she has or possibly had a tic like thing. It's like a clearing of her throat. Other people refer to it as a cough but it's not really. She can do it all the time. But then there's periods like recently where I realise she hasn't been doing it.
It's really odd and to be honest I don't think it's anxiety but I don't know what it is or why she does it. There doesn't appear to be a reason

OP has the OCD, tics and behaviour concerns happened since your daughter was ill? It may not be this at all but look into PANDAS condition

It has all started since the virus and I did actually mention PANDAS at latest Gp appt but he said it’s exceptionally rare and that she certaintly wouldn’t be able to go to school /sleep/ be herself, he said children become utterly unrecognisable overnight and it’s an acute emergency, she wouldn’t “just” have a tic / some ocd. Basically 100 💯 dismissed it.