He’s devastated he has to wear glasses

[Clearinguptheclutter]

yes it’s really not that big a deal I know but how he feels.

ds2 (9) was recently told by optician he is short sighted and needs to wear glasses, ideally all the time. This came as no surprise to me or dh who had a similar story as a child and ds1 has also been wearing since he was 8. All of us wear almost all the time now.

it might as well be the end of the world for ds2 (very well behaved kid generally but quite sensitive). We didn’t make him wear them a lot in the holidays but now are saying he needs to wear at school (I’m fine with him taking them off for break times and sport). He’s only got a slight prescription at the moment so thinks he can get away without which is technically true but of course that will just hasten further deterioration.

anyway we are somewhat flummoxed because he’s just crying his eyes out after school now because we told the (lovely) teacher to remind him to put them on. And cried himself to sleep last night. This morning he is refusing to take them to school. I’ve told him he can have contacts and even laser surgery when he’s older but for now he just needs to get used to it and I’ve promised it’s fine once you do get used to it. But he’s just not having it.

any advice appreciated.

(Ps lots of his friends wear glasses too so he def won’t be the odd one out)

Did he choose his glasses?

Could he wear contacts? He’s quite young but younger children do manage them well. I am 43 with very bad short sight - I’m -9.50 both eyes with all sorts of issues and started wearing glasses aged 4, I went into contacts around 10/11.

How much older does he need to be for contacts? I've always thought of them as a high school sort of thing but last year I found out 2 out DS classmates (then y5) were wearing them. I think they just wear dailies and take them out straight after school.

Kindly OP, he will get over it, just give it some time.

I remember feeling this way when I first had glasses around that age, but when I got used to wearing them it just faded into the background, became normal, and wasn't an issue.

Just accept that he will be upset about it for a little while but will adjust.

I do think he's too young for contacts - I have dailies that I wear sometimes and they are fiddly. I think he would panic if one split or got lost in his eye for example, which does occasionally happen to me. I don't think he's old enough.

Make sure he's chosen his own glasses and also that other kids are not making fun of him etc.

"He’s only got a slight prescription at the moment so thinks he can get away without which is technically true but of course that will just hasten further deterioration."

Are you sure that's true/ where did you hear that?

When I first got my glasses it was a low prescription for shortsightedness and I didn't wear them all the time. I don't think it did any harm.

If they're for shortsightedness (distance?) and a v mild prescription then it seems a bit odd to wear them all the time? Most adults with mild short sight wear them for driving and TV/Cinema etc. Does he really need them in the classroom? I'd have thought close up work with glasses correcting short sight would be a bad idea?

good question he basically refused to engage in the optician and did choose though I think it was to get out of the shop as quick as possible

I was told by my optician that wearing my glasses all the time wasn't a good idea when I first got them with a low prescription as the eyes get used to the correction. I didn't start wearing glasses then all the time until I got to -2.

What is it he doesn't like, is it just the idea of glasses?

I don’t get why he should wear them all the time if the prescription is slight? There’s actually evidence out there that suggests that it’s wearing glasses all the time which leads to deterioration. To help his eyes he should spend lots of time outside, where he will naturally regularly switch from short to distance view, and avoid screens and spending too much time looking only at things very close up. Glasses are there as tool, I’m sure he will realise they come in helpful when he needs them (eg reading the board at school) but shouldn’t be a sentence if he doesn’t like them.

Thanks all.
optician quite clear that ideally he should wear all the time though I agree that it seems OTT - initially I was blackboard at school only and then later driving and eventually all the time. He has been crying again this morning and we have agreed that for now he only wears them in the back of the class when struggling to see.

Yeah I think def a possibility in a couple of years but (being an occasional contacts wearer myself) I think he’s just too young atm

Many years ago now but I was exactly like your son. I refused to wear them. I was quiet, studious, lacking in confidence and often bullied with words.

Looking back, school was a hell of a struggle - we're talking not being able to see what was written on the blackboard in chalk.

As soon as I left school and got a job, I had contact lenses. Over the years I switched between glasses and contacts as glasses became less of an issue. A few years ago I had laser surgery.

I really wish I'd have been given the option for contacts when young. The only ones available then were hard lenses but the cost was prohibitive for my parents.

Are contacts a possibility for him? Might he be open to wearing glasses around the house at first and contacts when he's at school?

I've never worn mine all the time. I was shortsighted and found it quite uncomfortable to wear them for close reading etc. I'm now more longsighted and need them for both 🙄

My son got glasses at this age. Was happy to wear them until he got a bit of teasing, then he stopped wearing them. He was very sporty so we got him disposable contact lenses I think when he was 11.

Ok. This could be part of it. He could be regretting his choice.

If you can (and I think you'd have to pay rather than claim on the NHS) I'd offer to take him back and choose another pair if that would help. Make clear he has to wear them but you understand it's something on his face so he might be self conscious and you want him to have a pair he likes. It does take getting used to.

Offer to go to a couple of shops and really take your time so he's able to choose a pair that suits him. Then take him for lunch!

I'm a grown adult and I have been known to take an HOUR to choose a pair. Go away after say 15 minutes and come back if you need to. It's really tricky.

They've said that as it can stop his vision deteriorating so quickly. He doesn't need to wear them in the playground, but he should wear them all the time in the classroom.

I've fitted some 9 year olds with contacts, but most boys are too young at that age. I'd leave it a couple of years.

@InWithPeaceOutWithStress I'd love you to post that evidence! (I think you've misread something..)
You are right though about it being important to not do intensive close work without changing the eyes focus and making sure you are spending time outside daily (at least 50 minutes)

My DD only has a slight prescription, the optometrist told her they need to be worn all the time or her sight will deteriorate more qucikly. You can't exactly compare where you'd be if you had worn them all the time and you're a sample size of 1 so I wouldn't read anything into it.

I don’t think this is the case but it’s not impossible. Both dh and I think they were a good choice and he looks very grown up but I think that’s part of the issue, he doesn’t want to grow up!
i will ask him though and I am def open to getting him an alternative pair if it is the root of the problem

My DS had glasses from aged 6, for being short sighted. We knew he wouldn’t wear them all the time at school, but we made sure he wore them at home to watch tv, play games etc. His eyes did rectify themselves at around 10 so throughout secondary school he didn’t need glasses. I think at first they are a nuisance but hopefully, in time, he will get used to wearing them. Myself I hated contact lenses, tried for around 6 months, but they never felt comfortable, despite trying several.

As well as time outside there are glasses and contact lenses which can reduce myopia progression. Worth asking an optician for both DSs.

I'm about to take my son 11 to get eyes tested and am pretty sure he'll need glasses for at least classroom/tv and driving in future. Also sure he'll have the same reaction as yours and am absolutely dreading it. Thinking possible contact lenses

Collection of research here:

https://wiki.endmyopia.org/wiki/Clinical_Studies?_gl=168om4z_gcl_au*MTQzMDYyNzg0MS4xNzI1NTQ2NDU1#EndMyopia_Science_Posts

@InWithPeaceOutWithStress none of that shows that wearing glasses leads to the deterioration. I think you’ve misunderstood the peripheral defocus bit.

Really? Even research which says things like “Continuous correction of myopia results in a linear progression that increases myopia.” It’s all incredibly poorly worded then!

https://endmyopia.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/The_progression_of_corrected_myopia_with_pages_as_published_clean_10.1007_s00417-015-2991-5.pdf

Mytopia contacts - slow down the eye prescription and kids can safely wear them. They are about £38 a month

The few of us at primary school with glasses all refused to wear them. I remember our scary teacher telling us to get them out of our desks as 'your desk doesn't wear glasses '

All of us went to secondary school as full time glasses wearers though.

Not sure what happened (i think the NHS specs got less hideous) but clearly we got over it.