would you stay here? Is this SHS?

[tudorqueenie]

Hi there,

we are hoping to visit family members (they live in another country) with our 2.5 year old, but we have no money to book an airbnb. We would likely to stay with my mother-in-law. My issue is that she is a very heavy smoker, she smokes indoors every ten minutes. She would not smoke indoors when we are there, she would do this on the balcony. Nevertheless, the place reeks of smoke. We would sleep there for 7 nights.
Would this be harmful for our little one? We are non-smokers, she has never been in an environment like this before.
many thanks in advance

I wouldn’t personally. It’ll be on her clothes and her breath all the time if she’s smoking that often. Especially with a child that young I wouldn’t want to.

It’s third hand smoke. And no, I wouldn’t stay there.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/quit-smoking/expert-answers/third-hand-smoke/faq-20057791#:~:text=Thirdhand%20smoke%20is%20made%20up,up%20on%20surfaces%20over%20time.

I wouldn't and I'm an occasional smoker.

My grandmother was a heavy smoker and it shortened her life. We used to visit for 1-2 weeks every summer. I can still remember the smell (think she exclusively smoked outside during the visits though). I now work in children's health, and am constantly advising smoker parents of small children to quit because living with smokers makes them more likely to be admitted to hospital with respiratory illnesses over the long term.

Having said all that, and going against the grain of likely sentiment on here:

I would be absolutely gutted if this had meant I couldn't see/stay with my grandmother whom I loved to bits and wouldn't have seen under other circumstances. It did not have any obvious effects on my health or my siblings and cousins. In terms of the actual number of exposures needed to harm, second hand smoke doesn't increase risk very much over that kind of period of time.

Different if your child already known to have asthma or similar health conditions. Or indeed if the experience of staying in the stinky smoky conditions will be unbearable to you.

If you honestly think missing out on seeing grandchildren would provide sufficient motivation to quit then have that discussion honestly, but smokers tend to be fully aware of the health effects on themselves and do so anyway (addiction and psychological defences) but it probably won't work.

Thank you so much for all the responses!

That is such an interesting and valuable point, @Unseenentity , thank you so much for this!