Underweight toddler

[justamum98]

Hi all,

I have been asking everyone I know for help or any advice but no one can really give me any so I thought I’d try here.

my son 2,5yrs is now underweight. He weights 11.9kg and is 96cm tall. His relationship with food is terrible. He has always been very fussy but at least could get a slice if toast in him if needs be. The last 2-3weeks Throughout the day he has been eating 1 organix oaty bar and maybe a few raisins.

he asks for chocolate or crisps or anything other than real food which I of course refuse at this point hoping he will just eat what’s in front of him if he’s that hungry.

I have let go of the idea of him eating any meats or vegetables. At the moment my main aim alongside his vitamins is carbs carbs carbs.

I try to get him something that he’s likely to eat like fish and chips or MCDS happy meal … he won’t even touch the fries. Or any toast or yoghurts. There is quite literally nothing I have not tried with him.

the second he sees his plate (doesn’t even know what’s on it yet) he screams and screams. The tantrums have gotten very bad too. So I’ve tried to just leave him a plate of something whilst he plays hoping he will just naturally pick something up. That’s not worked either.

I am out of ideas and he is starting to look very very skinny.

we have private healthcare but they do not cover behavioural issues so I’ve gone through the GP and the waiting list is just shocking and I feel like I don’t know what to do in the meantime? What do I do? He cries a lot of course because of hunger pains and I offer him food but he won’t touch any of it.

The doctors don’t seem too concerned which is mind blowing to me because how can this not be concerning? My friends tell me to offer him mash and beans or cheese - literally anything but he won’t touch that either.

any advice would be great 😊

Aw that sounds really stressful. I’m afraid I don’t know much about all of this but just a few ideas. Will he drink juices or smoothies? If so maybe put some high calorie things into a smoothie eg avocado. Or smoothie ice lollies? I think your idea to take the pressure off and just leave the food nearby is a good one. Somehow make food / eating more of a positive experience no matter how much baby steps you have to start with. Good luck.

Ps
i would give him chocolate or crisps rather than nothing at all. But I don’t know if that’s good advice or not.

I had a food refuser, we maintained his weight with paediasure in high fat milk. Now I just have a fussy 5 year old (albeit one who still has overnight fortified milk). We did just say yes to crisps though, anything to keep the weight up. He does still eat a lot of crisps now, but also some 'safe' healthy foods (fruit, meat, dairy), or plain carbs.

If random snack trays while playing don't work, have you tried feeding on walks? We used to walk down the park, the beach, pop little bits of banana/sausage etc in his mouth that he would absent mindedly eat. Obviously don't sneak it in (choking and/or fear), just just casually have it there for a nibble every now and again, zero pressure.

Yes, I’ve been through this and remember the fear well. With my little boy he was eventually diagnosed with arfid. The best advice I could give you is to let him eat whatever he wants. Don’t make a big deal out of it. At this point it’s calories to put on weight.

I know a lot of people say persist and they will eventually eat it and won’t starve, my son would rather starve than eat any of his safe foods.

Theres some really great books about extreme eating and things like foodchaining.

I agree, I think right now you need to get calories in and help him build the habit of eating three meals a day plus snacks, and then worry about healthy later. Is he having his vitamins okay? Would he eat the toast if you put something sweet on it? Or yoghurt if you topped it with sprinkles?

If he'll drink a smoothie, that's a great way to get both calories and some nutrition in. You can also make soft-serve ice cream with just frozen fruit and some milk/yoghurt (I'd try cream in your case), just blitz it up with a blender. Would he eat a homemade biscuit, pancake, or cake? Again that might be another way to get him eating – you can blitz in some pureed fruit/veg, or some oats, or even some lentil/beans.

We’ve been to the doctors and we can’t even get a referral to a paediatrician… I told the dr he’s underweight and weak and pale and I suspect he is anaemic as his dad suffered from it as a kid too so it’s well observed in our family. But the doctor dismissed us and prescribed paracetamol.

Have you considered neurodiversity? Food refusal that is that intense at such a young age may indicate other issues. Have you tried calling your health visitor instead? Failing that I’d go back to the GP and ask for a second opinion from another dr.

Yes we have actually been to see a doctor on Friday and he refused a blood test and did give us a referral to see a paediatrician because “it’s probably just a virtus” … we got the last appointment of the day so will call back on Monday and book in with someone else

A dietician will get you to add extra butter or oil to food

The thing is so long as you are offering your DC food which of course you are then they generally aren't going to starve

My DS was a fussy eater

Sometimes they eat food they refuse around other people or in a different environment

What food does he eat ?

Maybe he has a digestive issue so his stomach hurts

He might be lactose intolerant so dairy might give him tummy aches or diarrhoea or constipation or he might have a wheat allergy

He obviously won't know this but can feel certain foods dont sit well with him

What will he eat ?

Pasta ?
Rice ?
Bread ?
Chicken
Beef
Fish
Pork
Which fruit and veg

Etc etc

Push for a referral but realistically a dietician/ paediatrician can’t do much other than give you advice. I would look into ARFID as well.

As hard as it is don’t make food a battle ground, for now calories in is the key thing and trying to break negative associations with food. If you make it into a battle then he will win!

how is he sensory wise? Does he have issues with texture? Is he ok getting hands dirty? Sometimes playing with food can help, or baking and similar. No pressure to eat just getting him used to it.

Hi, no to all. No meats or veg or fruit especially. Sometimes toast. Sometimes pasta but changes everyday. I suspect an iron deficiency in him but can’t confirm without blood test