What if I hadn't gone in?

[Somuchgoo]

My 5yo has some health issues which mean her immune system is more fragile. She'd had an on/off temperature for about 48hrs, so I was checking on her at night every couple of hours.

It was about midnight and when I checked on her she was absolutely freezing. She'd kicked her duvet off, but that's normal for her, and the room was normal temperature. I changed her pull up and she didn't stir (unusual but not unheard of). As she was so cold I checked her temperature which varied each time but was in the 34's.

The NHS advice on this is that it's an emergency and 999/A&E job if temp is below 36, 3 times in 10m. We were a good degree and a half below this. We have permanent open access so contacted the children's ward straight away.

In the meantime (whilst husband was on hold) I tried to wake her to see how she was feeling. I couldn't. I was touching her feet, tummy, talking loudly to her, blowing on her face, lifting her limbs. Nothing. I was calling her name and poking her, nothing. I was on the verge of telling my husband to just phone 999 instead when she rolled over and opened the tiniest slither of one eye. So rousable, just, but to a very low level. I have no doubt that if this has happened to our other 'healthy' child and we'd called 999, we'd have been blue lifted in.

Cut a long story short, whilst speaking to various nurses and then speaking to the doctor and then they consultant, she warned back up and became more conscious. By the time they'd find the consultant (any half an hour later) her temperature was getting towards normal, so they weren't too worried about sepsis risk etc. We stayed at home because they'd have only monitored her, and I did that hourly for the rest of the night. No repeat.

But I'm quite anxious now. I'm terrified that if I hadn't checked on her, she'd have gotten colder and fallen into a coma and died. She'd certainly reached a level of unconsciousness that she couldn't call for help.

Did she warm up because I pushed her back to consciousness, or did she become more conscious as she warmed (the only thing I 'did' was put her duvet back on?

Agreed been through a lot in life, and I'd finally become a bit less stressed and paranoid about her, and it's not another thing that keeps me awake at night worrying.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here, as no one knows what would have happened, or if it could happen again. I just need to get it off my chest. It was horrible.

Could you get some sort of monitor that goes off if there's not a lot of movement in a certain amount of time? I used to have the heart rate ones. Sounds distressing even to read this hope you are ok xx

Oh op health anxiety around your children is awful. I have it too, my son had meningitis as a 8 week old and we almost lost him. He has various repercussions from this, every time he gets a slight fever I panic and go straight back to that place. We to have access to the ward and most times I take him, they have always been willing to check him over for peace of mind. I would also recommend miracle moon on Instagram, she’s a therapist and she’s written a paper on health anxiety which is brilliant. Sending hugs

That sounds terrifying. How amazing that you were able to keep her safe overnight. Well done. Do you have an appointment with the consultant coming up?

I would keep her in bed with you.

I think I’d do that too, my daughter is robust and healthy but at 6 we still co sleep for a sizeable chunk of the week. She’s not the only one in her class either, so it wouldn’t be inappropriate at her age, and might calm you and help e regulate her.

Thank you.

We used to bed share until about 6w ago, when she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed, she comes in quite often still, and I have a morning audio baby monitor on.

It's a hard line to tread between keeping her safe and not causing her anxiety. I'm very happy for her to be in with me if she wants, but she's old enough (and observant enough) to start worrying if it's clearly for her safety. And until the other night, it was ok, because she tosses and turns if she's got a fever, I had no idea she could go the other way so scarily.

The thing is, even if she's in bed with me, I can't guarantee that I'd wake if her temperature plummeted, especially if accompanied by being 'extra' asleep rather than unsettled. I'll see if I can find some discreet monitoring system.

I think I'm just going to have to live with some health paranoia here, as due to her health she's going to be under multiple consultant's until she's an adult (at least). But it needs to be kept at a sane level that's proportional to the risk. Urgh.

I think I'll email her consultant, at least to make her aware of this.

I would invest in some tech for peace of mind. I see there are new wearable constant thermometers for babies... for instance:
Baby Thermometer - Smart Temperature Monitor & Sleep Position Detector - Hibernia Medical

I know how you feel. We nearly lost ds2 who is now 16 when he was 12 and ds5 who is now 10 when he was born. Terrifying.

I don’t understand why you would have called an ambulance for your other child but not this one? Genuine question

111 sent an ambulance for my little boy when his temp was 34. Ended up in hospital for could have nights treated for suspected sepsis. Luckily wasn’t but I’ve never felt someone be so cold before was awful .

Because this one wouldn't go to A&E, she'd go straight in to the ward, because she had permanent open access. So rather than wait in triage for hours, they put us through on the phone straight to a paediatrician who decides if she comes in.

We've gone from in phoning the ward, to her being in and cannulated in about 45 minutes before. It's a much more efficient system.

For our other child, we'd have to go through 999. Frankly if I'd realised I couldn't wake her before we'd rung, we'd have probably called them anyway, but we were waiting for the nurse to find the doctor.

I would definitely want her to be reviewed and her consultant’s view on what was going on with the low temp and associated risks and how this should be dealt with.

Aside from that, I think you have found a balance between keeping and eye on your DD but not going overboard. You sound sensible rather than anxious to me. She was unwell so you put a plan in place to check her every 2 hours. This was sufficient for you to discover an issue and you took measures to warm her up and bring her round.

My DD was very unwell for a few months and whenever we weren’t in hospital I checked her every 3 hours overnight. It is the issue that when they’re really unwell they go quiet rather than the other way round! You enter a new zone of parenting once you’ve experienced this.

Temperature readings are decreasingly reliable when low (only rectal thermometers are really accurate for core temperature). Except in specific circumstances (prolonged exposure in freezing conditions / submersion in cold water), it's unlikely that those numbers were a true core reading. In illnesses it's the body thermostatic actively pushing temperature up/down and there are feedback processes that keep body functioning on track. So although it's good to go through you with your medical team what your plan should be (especially as she is medically complex) so that action with a serious infection happens promptly, I don't think your thought process should be 'if I didn't do something she'd come to harm directly from the low temperatures'.

If it's relatively new for her to sleep alone, what does she sleep in, clotheswise? Remember, if she's slept by you, she'll be used to having a parent shaped hot water bottle. Would she wear a onesie and socks to bed, so she has a level of insulation if she does kick her bedding off? A top sheet to tuck her in, under the duvet, can also help keep her heat in.

I'm not going to dispute the they may not have been perfectly accurate, but I'm fairly sure they'd have been close. Certainly it was lower than it should have been.

• we checked using 2 different thermometers, on both arms upwards of 15 times before we phoned the hospital.
• both the thermometers we checked (twice each) on us, and then straight back to her. Readings were normal for us.
• I only checked her temperature because she was icy cold - not just limbs, but core.
• her consciousness level was WAY below what I'd expect of her even at that time of night, and below the level that she'd have been able to alert me that anything was wrong.

My worry tbh is more about how utterly out of it she was, more than the temperature, or the two of them together.