20 month rarely pointing , did your toddler point?

[Kaykelly1414]

My daughter has turned 20 months recently and infrequently points. She sometimes points when prompted. When she was 15 months old we went on holiday and I remember she did point when away but after that I never noticed it and didn’t worry until nursery mentioned it to me recently .

She does not point when asked “where is daddy” but will walk to her dad and tap him instead.
She does follow instructions most of the time - for example when asked to get her JJ teddy from her bedroom and bring it to me she does that. When told we are going out she does get shoes (sometimes they aren’t her own) but I feel that demonstrates she understands we’re going out.
She does have great eye contact , sings loads of nursery songs (but I read singing uses different part of your brain so those words don’t count) ,she claps, waves hello and good bye, says 20+ words (not fully clearly but I can make out what she’s saying) , says “up” a lot of the time when wants to be picked up , she counts to ten, tries to get my attention when playing / climbing (fearless / risk taker ) , she does participate imaginative play and pretends / babbles on toy phones or rocks her teddy bear to sleep / feeds it
She does brings toys and books to me and sits on my knee to read together, when prompted she does point at animals in books
She says “hi mummy” “hi daddy” “thank you “ “bye see you “ she asks for a few things she wants such as bix (weetabix) or milk …
She points at her nose /mouth/ head when asked. But she doesn’t point to show something . Sometimes she does reach for things with her whole hand and makes a sounds to gesture she wants it

She will say slide and like reach / gesture in the direction of the slide when at a park or soft play …
Im so unsure if I should be concerned from what I’ve read online + nursery stating she doesn’t point… anyone else have this experience?
im unsure if she has a language or speech delay or has ASD. I was told to “wait” but I keep reading things online and stressing myself
It seems she’s hit every milestone except pointing ?
I’m overthinking and very anxious ….

Does she have many opportunities to point? Read books together and point at the pictures and ask her 'where is the cat?' etc to give her the chance to see you point and to practice pointing herself.

I don’t think you have anything to worry about, based on what you’ve said it sounds like she is doing loads and understands lots too.
my little girl didn’t point for a while, and I remember really worrying about it. But then she suddenly started pointing and I didn’t know why I had worried so much! I’m sure she’s fine :)

on reflection I don’t think I’ve pointed at things to show her. We’ve adopted the Montessori style of teaching and also created my DD playroom + bedroom with furniture at her height etc - she can access everything. We attend toddler classes together when she’s not in nursery but I don’t remember if she’s pointed there, I don’t think so.
she does point in books when promoted / asked to “show me the X” . I’ve read so much online I’ve caused myself so much stress it’s awful

Thank you ! Did your daughter start pointing around/ after 20 months? It’s the infrequency of my daughters pointing that is worrying me. She does bring me books / toys to show me or lift them up to show me but doesn’t point to get my attention

Both mine pointed a little but gave up pretty quickly and swapped to bringing the item or trying to get me to move over to it. They only really continued pointing at things too far away

My daughter only pointed when she didn't have the language to convey what she wanted
At 20 months she pointed a lot more but her language had regressed and she only had 3 words. As soon as her language picked up at 26 months she stopped pointing
As long as they are able to express their needs I wouldn't overly worry about pointing.

Honestly if she does have autism it's really not the end of the world. Many autistic people live full and happy lives with just some minor adjustments. Obviously not true for everyone but certainly not something to panic over.

I don't remember DD pointing but we did sign language instead and she was signing in sentences by 18 months or so.

DD hit all her milestones,in fact was early for most of them. Incredibly academic, always well behaved, a few sensory issues surrounding noise but fine at Primary - autism diagnosis at 13 after struggling with transition to secondary school environment.

Continue to watch and wait, write down anything that concerns you or is unusual and keep it safe somewhere like the red book. Perhaps start saving so you have the option of going private when the time comes (assessment is around £2k). Children develop at different rates and some regression is standard for all children to some extent so try not to worry.

If you're worrying about ASD, pointing is only one thing on a list of about 20 or so that the health visitor will go through with you at your next appointment. If everything else is normal, pointing or lack of by itself is not an issue

Hello
hope you are doing well . We sound very similar in our situation .☺️I am a FT mum to a wonderful DD of 16 months . The reason why I am seeking advice is that I am slightly worried about her milestones . I will try and make it as clear as possible. She started walking properly at 12 months and she currently has 25 understandable words under her belt . She is very good at imitating and always following my point when I say “ look at something “ . She brings toys to me all the time and does pretend play ( feed Dollies , build stacks , pretend cleaning etc ) . She is a very good sleeper and very affectionate. From a social point of view she is a bit shy but runs after other kids when she seems them , she smiles at strangers etc . She is a very good sleeper and napper . Now to the point of this post . She is 16 months but not a good pointer . She points at her body parts , points at dogs , at the light or things in books , but DOESN’T point to request . She reaches with both hands when she wants something or comes towards me . I am aware it might mean ASD but I don’t know what to do about it or how to help her . Both GP and health visitor are not concerned and advised me to wait until 20 months .

ps that’s the pointing she did when she saw horses
many many thanks

@Vittoria your dd sounds absolutely fine, normal and wonderful. Nothing to worry about there.

Hi @Vittoria123 do you have any update 🥰