Should the paed have said this?

[Upinthenightagain]

Was at the hospital today with dd who has some tummy issues and while we there he commented that there was no sign of breast growth and we should keep an eye on that. She’s 10 1/2 and she had a t shirt on. I replied that I didn’t have them either at her age and she hadn’t started her periods yet. She’s also very slim, 35th centile weight, 6st and 5ft1. Am I being sensitive? I feel like he shouldn’t have commented on it. Dd looked confused and embarrassed

I wouldn't have been happy about it. It has nothing to do with what you were there for. Your poor DD. How incredibly uncomfortable for her.

you probably should put a complaint in, but I'm not sure I could be bothered.

I'd just concentrate on reassuring DD, that it's perfectly normal at her age.

I think that's a bit weird tbh 😕
You weren't there for anything to do with that so not sure why he felt the need to mention it.....I get they look at the patient as a whole for general health etc but pointing out her lack of something so personal when she's so young is something I wouldn't expect and I'm guessing you were probably pretty shocked and now wishing you had said more - hindsight is a wonderful thing - but if you feel strongly enough maybe a chat with patient services so someone can have a word in this drs ear about what is and is not appropriate!

I wonder if it’s because she’s so tall.
@Vergeofbreakdown23 I did question it a bit but I suppose if I’d have made a fuss it might have been more uncomfortable for dd

That seems a really odd thing for him to say, doesn't it? Hopefully a doctor or two might come along here and comment on this.

Actually I disagree. If he is thinking systemically about her tummy issues, then one of the potential features of a condition like inflammatory bowel disease is that is can delay puberty.

In my daughter's case it certainly has. She is now 14 with no periods; I started at 12 1/2. So I think he is sensible to keep an eye on the progression of puberty, though it would have been helpful to put that in context for you.

Long story short - I don't think he was being inappropriate or Pervy. I think he is considering if your daughter might have a condition such as Crohn's or ulcerative colitis that can have delayed puberty as a side effect.

It was a medical professional asking about something which could easily have an impact on her abdominal comfort. I don’t get the problem. Certainly your DD may have been a bit uncomfortable, but they are generally with bodily things and it is important to model that discussion of bodily functions and indeed the body itself is fine to think about and talk about!

Or he was ruling out pre period twinges

Sounds pretty normal to me. I doubt he's being some sort of pervert ...

I thought some gastro issues can delay puberty? It’s come up with my preteen niece. So it might make sense but he really should have explained that if that’s what he was thinking.

I think you are being weird. It is perfectly appropraite for a medical professional to make the point that there are signs that your DD may not be developing entirely "normally" and to recommend that you keep an eye on it. Broadly speaking, periods start roughly 2 years after breast development starts. The average age to start is 12. This suggests that she is likely to be behind.

This is not a massive issue at this age. Which is why he's suggested "keeping an eye on it" rather than, "you must be referred to an endocrinologist".

If even doctors can't comment on actual medical issues then I really don't know why you even bother going to the doctor.

@MumofCrohnie I didn’t think he was being in appropriate. I just that I thought it was an odd thing to comment on at 10.5. Seems very young for it to even be notable and girls get sensitive about being told they’re lacking something

Yes, also this. It's all very well being "uncomfortable". I'm not comfortable about the fact that I need to go for a pap smear next week. But as humans, especially women, we need to learn to have matter of fact conversations about our bodies and our symptoms to medical professionals.

I think that's a really weird thing to comment on at 10 1/2. That's very young and very normal not to have started puberty yet.

@INeedToClingToSomething It's actually very normal for children of this age to have started early signs of puberty, most notably, early signs of breast development with many, if not most, girls in year 6 doing so. A significant number (although most likely NOT the majority) may well have started their periods already. It's actually quite concerning how few people on this thread understand this.

The doctor's comment was perfectly valid as a signpost you should be looking out for. He wasn't inappropriate, nor was he over egging the situation. It's particularly relevant if she's already under specialist care as so many things co-exist. eg DD's early puberty symptoms retreated or slowed once she was diagnosed lactose intolerant and stopped dairy. Our doctor says there's no specific research on this but that children of DD's background are more prone to both lactose intolerance and early puberty. These things can happen in clutches basically.

It's really not a weird thing to observe at her age, and certainly not something to put in a complaint about. Puberty is highly relevant at 10.5 for girls.

@bilgewater I wasn’t thinking of putting a complaint in tbh. Just canvassing opinions

It sounds like he spoke in a tactless, off hand way OP? So it’s not so much that he shouldn’t have commented, assuming it is medically relevant, it’s the way he said it. I would expect him to be able to get his point across in a way that doesn’t make his patients feel like specimens, especially in matters of body image in young girls.

It was relevant to your daughters condition. I think you're being overly sensitive.

You've probably waited ages for your appointment and he wanted to let you know that he had clocked a relevant matter. Probably due to another patient bringing it up previously.
You can't win either way!

Was the talking to you or to his nurse/ assistant? He may have been dictating notes out loud rather than anything else.

Definitely not a weird thing for him to have noticed in combination with her other symptoms, but he could have mentioned why he was pointing it out to give it some context if you hadn’t joined up the dots yourself. Well, not imo anyway.
I don’t think I’d have dwelled on this commen.