Hairy dd (12)

[Dandel10n]

DD is 12 and very hairy. I am pretty hairy for a woman too so I assumed she had been unlucky enough to take after me, especially with facial hair. However, I've noticed that she is also developing quite thick dark hairs on her neck (back and front).

Cosmetic matters aside (and she doesn't seem too bothered on that front) when does this become an issue? Is it worth a GP appointment? I don't want to draw attention to it and make her feel bad or self conscious but am wondering whether there is something hormonal that needs investigating. Advice gratefully received.

Probably worth a GP appointment to get her hormones checked if you think that she’s developing hair in places she shouldn’t be

Hair on the front her neck? I would get that checked out. As you say, some people are more hairy than others, and if you are naturally hairy then your DD has probably inherited it from you. But AFAIK women don't usually get hairs on the front of their neck. Could be a sign of a hormone imbalance, PCOS, etc

Thanks both.

You can do an e consult at our surgery, and as her parent you could fill one out on behalf of your daughter and even attach some photos if you have some already. Then you could speak to a doctor about it without your daughter knowing in the first instance- if it’s nothing to worry about and they don’t feel they need to see her then she’s none the wiser?

I would consider that she might just be too embarrassed to say anything to you, but if it’s genuinely not bothering her then no point in making a big thing of it unnecessarily 🙂

I'd be worried about her being bullied too in future. At 12 a lot of kids are still very young and childlike, but give it a year or two and they won't be. I agree that it might be best to approach the GP on your own first, to voice your concerns. At my surgery you could request a phone consultation to discuss things first and not in front of your DD. You don't want to worry her, but OTOH, if it were me I would want to do something about it. It's hard enough being a teen, without growing hair in unusual places.

I think this could need investigating with gp.

Unless there's a story suggesting pubertal changes not happening in the normal way (at 12 years could be normal to be in puberty or not to be), unlikely that this should lead to further tests but may help to go through it all with the GP.

As someone whose family is naturally hairy (well, very pale with dark hair) I would be worried about bullying. I've taught my DDs how to shave body hair (should they want to, not forced or recommended but to give them the option) and provided them with razors, tweezers and hair lightening cream. I've told them to message, no questions asked, when they run out and I'll get more. I made my DD aware when she was getting a bit of a monobrow (from her dad's side and not something I'd dealt with before) and i didn't say it in a bullying way but I did say that while it may be funny to have one eyebrow, as she puts it, that children can be cruel and pick out things that make you different. I asked if she knew anyone else or had seen anyone with one eyebrow and she said Frida Kahlo. Fair enough. But after sleeping on it she came down for her first day of school with two perfectly shaped eyebrows. After ruling out anything hormonal I would give them the choice whether or not to remove any hair.