Foreskins and boys

Georgethecat1 · 2024-04-12T19:23:18+00:00

My 8 year old has a tight foreskin, around age 4 we got referred and they recommended some cream / stretching exercises. After 3 months it was a bit better and no more redness or infections. It’s still pretty much a pin hole and balloons when he wees but he’s not in pain and no infections so we decided to leave it now incase it rectifies itself. However as he’s got older I am wondering if it will ever be retractable or will he end up needing a circumcision regardless (in which case doing it younger is better from ab embarrassment POV). Anyone got any stories or advice on what they have done?

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NeedToAskPlease · 12/04/2024 20:28

If it's still tight, he needs to try again and gently retract it to try and stretch it. Don't force it though.

It's a shame that you stopped with the recommendation from the doctor as he is very likely to need a circumcision when he is an adult as the foreskin is prone to splitting.

Walkden · 12/04/2024 20:30

As a young adult I had phimosis but with only 6 months of stretching and a bethamasone?cream prescription I went from non retractable at all (even flaccid) to completely retractable.

I think it very easy to say let's get a procedure done to save embarrassment. Is that really a good option when you haven't explored the options?

Original poster

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 20:31

@NeedToAskPlease he does on the bath and I don’t think it’s any better. Still a pin hole, I thought it would have got better by now

OP posts:

Original poster

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 20:32

Walkden · 12/04/2024 20:30

As a young adult I had phimosis but with only 6 months of stretching and a bethamasone?cream prescription I went from non retractable at all (even flaccid) to completely retractable.

I think it very easy to say let's get a procedure done to save embarrassment. Is that really a good option when you haven't explored the options?

What other options would you suggest? I’m open to ideas?

Are you saying another round of the cream again?

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PurBal · 12/04/2024 20:33

I think ifs you’ve noticed it now I’d get it rectified. My high school boyfriend and I were, ahem, doing some foreplay aged 16/17 and it was only then he realised quite painful.

Original poster

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 20:34

NeedToAskPlease · 12/04/2024 20:28

If it's still tight, he needs to try again and gently retract it to try and stretch it. Don't force it though.

It's a shame that you stopped with the recommendation from the doctor as he is very likely to need a circumcision when he is an adult as the foreskin is prone to splitting.

Edited

The cream was only recommended for a short time but he still does the stretching exercises in the bath like the consultant recommended

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Isopodia · 12/04/2024 20:34

Ex dp had a circumcision at 16 due to tight foreskin. He said it was extremely painful during the healing stage. You could also see scarring from the stitches.

Original poster

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 20:35

Isopodia · 12/04/2024 20:34

Ex dp had a circumcision at 16 due to tight foreskin. He said it was extremely painful during the healing stage. You could also see scarring from the stitches.

DH had it done due to issues with it being too tight when he was very young and I don’t think you can see much, I wonder the older you are if it’s worse for scarring?

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Smalltree · 12/04/2024 20:39

My one is 10 and still can’t retract his fully.
BUT his has slowly stretched over the last year (I was worried the same way you are) and we can see more than before.
I’d say keep at the gentle bath stretching.
my GP didn’t seem at all worried yet.
and if you force it back too early you can cause damage.

GreatGateauxsby · 12/04/2024 20:41

If it were me I’d get him circumcised (as a lot of our friends/family our Jewish or American it’s quite normalised for us) and he has potential medical need.
I’d view it as similar to releasing a tongue tie.

Ginnandtonic · 12/04/2024 20:42

My DS was referral to urology, but they said that they don't do circumcisions as this age anymore if they are not getting infections. He is 9 now and been doing stretching exercises for a couple of years still has no retraction. He will have to get it sorted as when he is older if it is still an issue.

Original poster

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 20:44

Ginnandtonic · 12/04/2024 20:42

My DS was referral to urology, but they said that they don't do circumcisions as this age anymore if they are not getting infections. He is 9 now and been doing stretching exercises for a couple of years still has no retraction. He will have to get it sorted as when he is older if it is still an issue.

The consultant did give us the option of having it done when he was four but we decided to wait and see. But now I’m second guessing if it was the right choice.

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NeedToAskPlease · 12/04/2024 21:22

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 20:44

The consultant did give us the option of having it done when he was four but we decided to wait and see. But now I’m second guessing if it was the right choice.

Show quote history

Hindsight is always there to make us feel crap with decisions we make!

I wouldn't have put my child through an operation if there are other options suggested.

I think go back to GP and ask for a referral to Urology.

Jigglypuff87 · 12/04/2024 21:30

Ds was circumcised at 11 after constant infections. It certainly wasn't pleasant for him but the only option left. I'd try everything you can first. Can you get a referral to urology?

Original poster

Georgethecat1 · 12/04/2024 21:48

We can get a referral quite easily as we have private health insurance and would have it all done under that for quickness and ease. I might make sure he’s really doing his exercises in the bath every night for the next month and double check no change then make an app

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theeyeofdoe · 12/04/2024 21:50

I think it’s too early to say. Leave it be for the time being.

Felicityshoelace · 12/04/2024 21:52

If it doesn't work, go for a circumcism. Better at his age than older. 🙊 Ng from experience.

Walkden · 12/04/2024 22:05

At age 8 a child lacks the discipline and motivation? to stretch daily which in most cases is what's needed. A brief pull back in the bath will do nothing really

When someone puts on a lot of weight their skin around the waist stretches accordingly and the foreskin will do the same. The child has not even hit puberty yet but many posters here happy to mutilate a child because its the quick and easy answer. As a PP said it is unusual these days to go down the surgical cal route unless for clear health ,(.i.e recurring infection issues....)

Devonshiregal · 12/04/2024 23:28

Walkden · 12/04/2024 22:05

At age 8 a child lacks the discipline and motivation? to stretch daily which in most cases is what's needed. A brief pull back in the bath will do nothing really

When someone puts on a lot of weight their skin around the waist stretches accordingly and the foreskin will do the same. The child has not even hit puberty yet but many posters here happy to mutilate a child because its the quick and easy answer. As a PP said it is unusual these days to go down the surgical cal route unless for clear health ,(.i.e recurring infection issues....)

Omg. Mutilate? What a ridiculous way to upset op. It is not a mutilation. Plenty of men have to have it done as adults as it causes pain and problems. No one says ohhh you had your tonsils out you’re mutilating yourself! It’s a foreskin. It’s great if you can keep it but if it’s causing more problems than it’s worth taking it off is absolutely fine and millions upon millions of men live perfectly happy without it. They’re certainly happier than the men who get recurrent infections and can’t have sex without pain! They go under general anaesthetic and have appropriate aftercare. It helps them live a full life. Absolutely not mutilation and frankly it’s rude and wrong of you to suggest it

Aintnosupermum · 12/04/2024 23:36

My son had this issue. The doctor here in the US was very conservative and we tried the stretching until he was 10. At that point he said best to do the surgery because recovery is extremely painful later.

At 8, get on the wait list for the surgery. My son was operated on Friday PM and in school on the Monday morning. It’s painful for the first 2 weeks and no sports for a month.

Knowing what I know now, I regret not doing the circumcision when he was born. As his father and I are divorced, he refused to agree to the surgery and I had to go to court. The judge was good about it but our hearing was Thursday 2pm the day before the procedure was scheduled.

PleaseletitbeSpring · 12/04/2024 23:36

My DGS was four and everything else had failed so it had to be done. My advice is wait until the start of the school summer holiday to have the surgery. He couldn't even wear pants for a week. There was no way he could go to school.

Avocadocream · 12/04/2024 23:58

My son had to be circumcised at 3. From about 18 months or so we were constantly at the GP’s with infections/redness and soreness. Referred to urology who took one look at it and said he absolutely needed to be operated on. A week or so of recovery and all was well. Glad it was done when he was younger.

Walkden · 13/04/2024 02:45

"Omg. Mutilate? What a ridiculous way to upset op. It is not a mutilation. Plenty of men have to have it done as adults as it causes pain and problems"

Plenty of men as adults do consider it a form of mutilation or specially if they had no agency over the decision made as children.

If an adult chooses to have the procedure as an adult that up to them in the same way that sins women opt to have labiaplasty for example.

There are entire communities and organisations opposed to it (unless for religious or medical reasons ) going so far as to try and restore their foreskins ).

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/21/foreskin-reclaimers-the-intactivists-fighting-infant-male-circumcision

Foreskin reclaimers: the ‘intactivists’ fighting infant male circumcision

Emboldened by the body-positive movement and a sense of rage, a growing chorus is pushing back against a common custom

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/21/foreskin-reclaimers-the-intactivists-fighting-infant-male-circumcision

cranachan1 · 13/04/2024 03:02

Another father here.
My sons are 10 and 14. Call it remiss of me but I've never really checked if they can retract. They have never had issues with infection etc so I have just left them to it like I was.

I very strongly feel that circumcision is mutilation.

Why is that such an OMG statement?
FGM is widely and understandably seen as horrific. I see circumcision in a similar way. Having lived many decades with a foreskin, the idea that someone could have just cut it away when I was too young to have a voice makes me really angry

cranachan1 · 13/04/2024 03:04

And it is in no way comparable to tongue tie snipping