Starting to think this can't be normal

[Doowop1919]

I'm just so fed up. My 3.8 year old is complaining about his ear again. He's been fighting an ear infection since the middle of February, had three rounds of antibiotics and the third finally shifted it around 2 weeks ago (confirmed by the paediatrician). This morning, he's saying his ear hurts again, same one. He's had three different colds in the last two weeks, or one that kept stopping and starting.

My 14 month old gets maybe 2 or 3 days of being well before the next cold hits him and he's utterly miserable. Spends all day just screaming at me. Its always just been viral and I've just had to wait for it to pass.

I'm not exaggerating when I say we've had ONE WEEK of being well all at the same time since the beginning of January. I'm so fed up. My 14 month old can't sleep so is up half the night crying in frustration, and I feel at the end of my rope after nearly 3 months of continuing sickness. This weekend the weather completely changed and I kept telling myself we must be due a break / with the weather change, surely we're going to have a few weeks of being fine? But nope.

I'm beginning to wonder if something is wrong with their immune systems, I'm sitting here trying not to cry into my coffee knowing I have to do another full day with two sick children and another doctor's trip on hardly any sleep. DH is great and is going to WFH but at the end of the day, he still has to work.

Are they on multivitamins, and do they eat veg/fruit etc? Do they wash their hands regularly?

Look into glue ear.

@DustyLee123 Yes, Gummi multivitamins for the eldest, vit D for the youngest. Youngest is still breastfeed. Both eat tons of fruit. Eldest eats veg though it's limited (all colours of peppers, tomatoes, broccoli - so I tend to give him these everyday).
We are outside a lot too.

Washing hands regular is also done (as my DH is also over the top with this sometimes!)
I'll honestly take any advice I can get with belling boost their immune systems.

Hi op I'm in a similar situation. My 2 year old and 1 year old just started nursery 5 weeks ago and they haven't been well since day 1.

At the moment 2 year old has gastritis and the 1 year old has conjunctivitis and both got a heavy cold and coughs. I'm getting no sleep and it's just relentless, google says it's normal to be honest so just making sure they are eating/drinking well. Good hygiene and vitamins that's all we can do. However if your worried no harm in contacting you GP

I was fobbed off by the last ent but my paediatrician has told me to go to a different one is the issue persists so I'm going to bring that up with him today.

Are they at nursery or has your youngest just started at a setting? Only asking as when mine started we had a similar pattern of illnesses for weeks on end and it lasted 3/4 months before it started spacing out a bit more. It was awful and we were all run down / on the verge of sacking in work at times.

Totally normal, our whole family of 5 has been the same all winter, we’ve had the odd break but one of us has at least been under the weather since September. It’s been constant since the baby started nursery.

Sorry to hear you're in the thick of it too. It's relentless and honestly I knew little kids got sick a lot but I never knew it could be constant like this with no relief.
We'll be going to the doctor today regardless so hopefully even he'll realise this isn't normal with DS's ear.

@Georgethecat1 DS1 is in his second year of nursery, and DS2 is still at home with me so although one is at nursery it's not "new" iykwim. I thought maybe it was throwing another DC into the mix, even if he's not at nursery. There's times I also want to just pull him out of nursery and run away to a secluded beach somewhere to allow them to just recover and boost their immune systems again 🙈but he absolutely loves it and he'll be moving to another after the summer.

@HippeePrincess sorry to hear you've been going through it too. It helps a bit though to hear it's normal as I'm beginning to think I'm doing something wrong. We were ill a lot between September and December then we had around 3 good weeks end of December til mid January and since then relentless again.
We had 27 degrees here over the weekend and we got out in the sun and fresh air and I was so hoping it would be a turning point. Sounds daft now really but I'm so desperate to be out of this phase.

And thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply. I'm just feeling very low today.

@Doowop1919 no advice, only sympathies, we are in the same boat here. My son has been in the creche for 2 years (hes 4) and the illnesses are just constant-- on top of all the usual colds and bugs he has been hospitalised for pneumonia and had tonsillitis twice this year, and its only just April😖 I wonder does it have something to do with their immune systems being weakened by the covid lockdowns? My son basically wasnt sick at all for the first 2 years of his life due to the lockdowns, and I do wonder is that why hes getting everything now. Im due baby number 2 next week so not looking forward to having 2 sick at the same time.

No answers only hugs and solidarity, I hope it improves for you soon!xx

It's totally normal,

You could look into proper multivitamins, those gummies contain naff all and are just comfort blankets. But to be honest, it won't make any difference- what you're going through is normal

Ignore the spurious hand washing advice - kids need germs!

Thanks @Janeykat and sorry you've been going through it as well. Our children are the same age and I also think DS1 is getting everything now as he was only ill three times in the first two years of his life .. not even a snotty nose in between. DS2 was ill three times before he was 12 weeks old 🙈 (three rounds of snotty nose). I'm hoping DS2 getting everything now will mean his nursery days will be a bit easier? Maybe that's wishful thinking.
Hope it improves for you too soon and all the best in the last (few) weeks / days before baby no.2 arrives 🥰x

@Nevermindtheteacaps thanks. I'll look into other vitamins. I've only put him on them for the last month or so as from September to December, my toddler wasn't too bad. Just occasional mild colds, it was the rest of us but since January, it's been him too

Totally sympathise OP. The secluded beach desire was a frequent one for me when my first was newborn and I'm getting it again now with my second. It is totally overwhelming and relentless when the whole family is in cycles of illness. I have no advice. Just try to get some time off for you. If DH needs to take a day off sick so that you can sleep, decompress, run to a spa to unwind then so be it.

Thanks @Superduper02 it really is tough going to never get a break from it.
That's actually a very good idea... It's just DH and I here with no family nearby but coincidentally my auntie is flying over from the UK today for a week so it'll be really nice having her here, the support, the company. We're very close and she's very close to my children too. I may even book a massage as a break.

Hope things look up for you too soon.

We're just back from the paediatrician and it's another ear infection. So that makes four in 6 weeks. We have a fast referral to an ent so he should be seen in the next 4 days. Here's hoping they can sort it because obviously the antibiotics aren't able to stop it returning so the root needs found.

Sorry to hear you're going through it but just to say you're not alone although my DC hasn't had an ear infection but seems to have been constantly ill since Feb 🤦🏽‍♀️ another high temp last night, cough, bunged up. We finished a course of antibiotics 10 days ago & also feeling worried that it's just never ending. Hope your DC is feeling better soon

Just posted on a similar thread but my 3 year old has been constantly ill since January, my other two have had coughs and tonsillitis as well. I am exhausted. The three year old had just finished antibiotics for tonsillitis but we arrived on uk ‘holiday’ last night and her temp promptly went up to 39 and she spewed all over the bed. You’re not alone. Glad he’s being referred

Sambucol. Only thing that gave us any respite from the constant illness when my kids were young.

My son was like this - the minute he stopped the antibiotics he would have another infection and be unwell. And nursery wouldn’t take him!

In the end the doctor put him on a low dose antibiotic - I can’t remember how long he was in it for but at least 6 months possibly longer (he is 20 now and still has a constant cold!).

Nursery germs are relentless and your older one will be bringing them home to the little one. We've had a similar winter here.
Someone said about covid lockdowns - not being exposed to germs does not damage a person's immune system, although for young children (who would be preschool/infant age now) they would be expected to get the same number of bugs in a shorter space of time as they are exposed to them all for the first time. After that first exposure the immune system just doesnt work like that, it isnt a muscle that needs exercising so for adults and older children lockdown does not affect longterm immunity. For babies who have been born since lockdown it doesnt either.
However, having covid even very mildly has been shown to damage the immune system for several months afterwards, so other bugs then hit harder, and its likely behind the rise in secondary infections and invasive strep A (as opposed to a normal year we would have 'normal' strep A). There isn't much you can do to stop your child catching covid at all now it is out the bag and we have to live with it, but it is a real concern and is the reason it isnt 'just a cold' even if it initially presents that way.

Being ill isn't normal. Having pneumonia isn't normal. What caused the pneumonia? What virus/bacteria? UK was happy to declare the pandemic over, despite covid still being here. Covid is here to stay and changed medicine forever. Pneumonia is the most common covid complication, I thought it was important for a doctor to find out what caused it. Covid is known to lower immunity. Even when mild or asymptomatic. This means children can be prone to more infections, repeated infection. This is why it's important to rule out covid. ''The standard screening tests for humoral immune function start with measuring immunoglobulin (Ig), or antibody, levels in the blood serum. These consist of IgG, IgA, IgM, and sometimes IgE levels. The results must be compared to age-matched controls.
There are also tests for specific antibody production. These tests measure how well the immune system can make antibodies against vaccines, as a marker of how well the antibody arm of defense is functioning.'' You can ask questions to professor Stephen Griffin on Twitter - virologist. NHS has 11 virologists in the whole country.

'just being viral' - when an infection can't be treated, or is recurrent, I thought the most important thing is to find out what virus caused it. 'viral' in medicine doesn't mean anything: HIV is a virus, hepatitis, pneumonia can be viral. 'viral' becomes relevant when the name of the virus is known. Covid circulates all year round, not like flu and colds which stop in spring, meaning there is no time for the immunity to recover, before being knocked down again. Also covid lowers the immunity for the next few weeks after the infection, meaning the child is prone to more infections, repeated infections, not able to find infection. The link between covid and immunity is known for years. ''https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/even-mild-covid-cases-can-have-lasting-effects-on#:~:text=News-,Even%20mild%20COVID%20can%20have%20'lasting,effects%20on%20immune%20system%3A%20Study&text=A%20pre%2Dprint%20study%20conducted,the%20extent%20of%20immune%20dysregulation. Known since 2021: ''Even mild COVID can have ‘lasting’ effects on immune system: StudyA pre-print study conducted in South Australia has found immune dysregulation in COVID-19 patients several months after infection.''