16 month old possible adhd or autism?

[SunshineInScotland]

Sorry for jumping on here, I’m new to mumsnet and unsure where to post. I have some concerns regarding my 16 month old ,he doesn’t say any words, only babbles ba ba constantly. Never really been a great sleeper, still wakes for bottles during night (I’ve tried weaning and he would scream for hours on end if I ignored him so I give in)
he is not walking, only taking a few steps but knows he is super fast as crawling so goes back onto knees and crawls
is not interested in toys, just likes to empty them all then moves on to the next thing, never seems settled or happy at any point unless watching ms rachel - I have tried so hard to limit this but he is very very Moany and grumpy 24/7 and as soon as he even sees her face he is like a brand new child
doesn’t sit still, no matter what chair etc is always fidgeting with hands/feet and trying to get out, always climbing
is obsessed with 1 thing (comforter) that needs to be everywhere with him or he has a meltdown
i love him so much however I feel I’ve done something wrong for him not to be like some other children we’ve come across at same age or even younger
any advice would help
also I’d say only around 20% of times I say his name he actually acknowledges
isn’t interested in books etc , doesn’t point or bring certain items to me etc

It doesn't sound like he isn't meeting milestones so I don't think you should really be worrying about this yet. More importantly why do you think "done something wrong for him not to be like some other children"? If your child does have neurodiversity it won't be anything you have done (or anything I or anyone else with a child with neurodiversity has done). Perhaps you need to unpack why you are so worried about this? Perhaps learning more about neurodiversity might help too.

I suffer from anxiety so do overthink and worry that I’ve not been parenting right, although I do the absolute best I can. I didn’t have a good/loving upbringing myself which is where I believe my own anxiety as a parent comes from :(

Sounds like an entirely normal 16month old

he doesn’t say any words, only babbles ba ba constantly.

How does he do on this simple SLT progress checker?

he is not walking, only taking a few steps. Taking a few steps is walking OP. Walking isn't a concern until they've reached 18 months and haven't taken a step

Never really been a great sleeper,

There is some information on Normal Infant Sleep here. Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddler and Preschoolerss*?

How is he eating during the day? Does he eat fairly well?

Having no ability to stick with an activity is fairly typical at this age. Being mosey can be too. I found before they had a sudden burst of language and understanding to be hard as they seemed to get very frustrated.

How did he do on his 12 month ages and stages?

Thank you for your reply, done the checker things what result is - From your answers, it may be that your child needs more support with attention and listening, understanding, talking, social communication.

he eats fairly well, variation of food & snacks (is dairy free due to cows milk intolerance) sometimes refuses meals however is always offered another option which I know he will always eat

12 month ages & stages hasn’t even happened yet. I called my HV regarding this (his bday was September) she advised she would come before Xmas, hasn’t came out - have left messages and am always told she will be back in contact and am still waiting. Last time she seen him was around 8/9 months if I recall correctly

Ok so at the very least he needs a referral to SLT and a hearing test. The SLT will want him to have had a hearing test to rule out glue ear.

I would contact your HV again and say that you've done the Speech & Language UK's 12 month progress checker and it says he needs some SLT ask her to see him.

Over the next few days fill in the 16 month Ages & Stages and also the 18 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.

Your HV can score both of them and doing both will give her a clearer picture of whether he needs more support than just SLT.

Scoring grey in a couple of areas is completely normal. If it's more than that I'd ask for a referral to a Paediatrician and make sure that she does it.

Ask her if there are any groups running for DC with Speech Delay in your area too.

If your HV still hasn't seen you in a couple of weeks I'd contact the Manager and insist on getting seen.

Have a look at Portage too and see if you think a referral would be of benefit.

Cut the screen time out entirely, it’s bad for their brains and there’s nothing to be gained from it. He doesn’t sound actually behind in anything. I would just keep a good routine, make time to play with him with simple toys practising interacting and taking turns, chat to him a lot, go for walks and point things out.

My boys were very similar - they need exercising.

Is ms rachel on the ipad? Yes, they absolutely do not need that at their age.

He needs to be out and about - both my boys needed to be at the park by 9am running around and doing something.
Start getting out earlier - stick them in a outdoor all in one if it's wet and go to the park. Come back.
Once a week go swimming - you need to basically tire them out.

Hi
hope you are well … have you seen any improvements in your little one ? ☺️

Any update?