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Tips for child (8) terrified of minor op

18 replies

arlamilk · 08/02/2024 22:07

DD (8) has an upcoming surgery that she has been on the list for for nearly a year so she has known about it. She knows it is going to be soon and we do have the date but haven't told her. A quick google says tell her a week before but if we ever mention it she starts crying about it and saying she is scared. If your child has been through similar when did you tell them?
She is very worried about being put to sleep. At her last review I told them she is anxious but they were very dismissive. I know I could show her videos online but that seems to make it worse and she just starts crying.

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SausageTolls · 08/02/2024 22:11

My ASD child has had a couple and everytime a play therapist has talked them through it. Walking up from the GA sends them a bit funny but this has resolved by the time a nurse arrives with a biscuit.

At that age I would fully resort to an utterly wonderful gift as a reward, tell her that you know it’s scary but the staff know what they are doing, it needs to be done and once it’s done she can have XYZ toy as a reward for being brave.

arlamilk · 09/02/2024 06:55

Thanks that is really helpful to hear. I'm hoping there will be a play therapist as they will know what to do and say!

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CrochetMadRosie · 09/02/2024 07:02

Do you get a chance to visit the hospital with her?
When DS had to have an operation we got to go on an experience morning where they basically walked through it all, from putting the numbing cream on, to a ride on the bed, to a look at the place where he would wake up.
That was about 14 years ago though, so maybe they don't do that any longer...
It was so good for him and us!
I hope it all goes well for your daughter when the time comes.

ExcellentCat · 09/02/2024 07:02

There has been a play therapist almost every time we have been to the hospital for any procedure.
my then 2 year old had to have a procedure with anaesthetic - the anaesthetic team were so fast! (Do be prepared to be whisked away as soon as s she is asleep, there are no lingering goodbyes!}
I might think about starting some guided meditation/relaxation methods for her, as if she’s leaping about panicking it will be worse. Even the name 5 things method might help.
is she allowed electronics? Can you do an electronic fast in the week running up so that she’s excited to get a screen on the day?
also maybe what about a hospital scavenger hunt? Can you see radiology? Have you seen a physiotherapist (walking about) our staff wear quite distinct uniforms so might be easier.

ExcellentCat · 09/02/2024 07:04

some hospitals also do videos about specific procedures.
also a bit of dr Chris & xand?

Jifmicroliquid · 09/02/2024 07:05

If it’s a one off thing, id take them a few days before to choose a decent gift that they can have when they come home from hospital.

ExcellentCat · 09/02/2024 07:06

Also, sorry for multiple posts, I would suggest don’t tell her not to be nervous - lots of adults are nervous going to hospital! Acknowledge the feeling - she can still have it done even if she’s nervous!
also second bribery ;)

arlamilk · 09/02/2024 07:12

Thank you, this is all so helpful to hear. We have promised her a kindle so already going down the bribery route. I like the meditation and 5 things idea. She's quite tough usually didn't even flinch when she had injection in her mouth for a filling. I think it's just the idea of the general anaesthetic that is freaking her out. Not surprising really...

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arlamilk · 09/02/2024 07:35

Also did anyone's child have the gas rather than the needle? I'm wondering if I need to ask for this in advance. They really have given me no information. Just remembered operation ouch!

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Shiningout · 09/02/2024 07:39

I had to have a few operations when I was 3/4 and all I remember is getting a tamogochi when I woke up and playing with it in the hospital bed, 😂😁😁 I know it's awful but when she's older she won't even remember it I think it's often way worse for the parents, my mum said it was awful! Get her a lovely present to wake up to.

Clumsyandheavy · 09/02/2024 07:41

My son (4yrs) chose to have gas induction for his second GA, he didn’t remember the injection for the first (emergency), but did remember the mask.
it was ok until he smelt the gas, then he needed a little bit of holding until he dropped off. I work in healthcare so it wasn’t a big deal for me, but I can imagine it wouldn’t have been nice as a parent unused to operating theatres.
we did see a play therapist after the first op as was an inpatient for a couple of weeks. They were amazing.

I’d sell it as the best sleep ever and maybe learn more with her about the roles of anaesthetists and their teams as she’s older?

Clumsyandheavy · 09/02/2024 07:42

What about expanding on the positive dental experience - magic cream (on hand not mouth this time) and then sleepy juice, but this time instead of her tooth going to sleep, she’ll go to sleep, and then just like her tooth she’ll wake up.

inmyplace · 09/02/2024 07:44

My Ds got phobic about medical procedures after complications from an op. He had to have another one, similar age. We paid for 3 sessions of art therapy beforehand. She was fantastic, talked through his worries and they made and painted a clay heart to take with him. It made such a difference and he went in ok. I know not everyone can afford something like that, but thought it was worth mentioning. We also talked to the staff beforehand and they did all they could to put him at ease as well. They couldn't get the needle in (not because he couldn't cope but his veins had constricted) so he had gas. They'll be used to dealing with scared children, but definitely worth doing what you can to raise awareness beforehand.

MargaretThursday · 09/02/2024 21:11

Ds has had grommets three times.

Each time they've put him under with the gas and then done the needle once he's out. The first two times I had to say to them to just do it, as I could see he wasn't going to let them get near him with the gas, but the last time they challenged him to blow up a balloon with this pipe, then when he started they switched it to have the gas in and he was straight off.

Anyway, the third time he did get nervous, so I only told him the night before, then told him he could choose what food he ate at midnight (before the fast began) and then we'd do something.
He chose egg mayo sandwiches, followed by a scoot round the houses, then hot chocolate when he got back. He was so excited by that, that he forgot to be nervous.
On the day I told the nurse he was nervous and they got the play therapist to talk it through with him.

A couple of things that I wish I'd prepared him for on the earlier ones was the cannula in his hand when he came round. He did keep pulling on it, and they ended up taking it out early because they were worried he might injure himself.
The second thing was I assumed I would wait in recovery. So I told him I'd be there when he woke. They don't let you in recovery until they've come round so they can check them without a parent in the way, so he was upset I wasn't there.

The other thing I did for him was had a present for him to open (something like a soft toy or a book) once he was at the stage of fully awake. He doesn't do general anaesthetics well, and takes ages to really come round properly, and stop vomiting and eat. So something new for him to cuddle/listen to with little input from made that time easier as it distracted him enough.

Greybeardy · 09/02/2024 21:35

Re gas vs iv induction - take the anaesthetist’s advice - a gas induction isn’t necessarily less stressful and depending on exact circumstances can be a bit higher risk. Also may be worth exploring the idea of sedative pre-med once in hospital (again, depends a bit on exact circs). If you have an iPad with some fun stuff on it then take that in - can be really handy in the anaesthetic room. Ditto with a fave teddy or similar.

CrochetMadRosie · 24/04/2024 07:51

Just wondered if your DD had had her operation?

BBC news had an article about a new app called 'Little Journey' which walks children through what happens when they go to hospital for an operation and I thought of you. I've just downloaded it (my DD has an operation coming up) and it looks brilliant.

You can select your hospital (assuming it's on the list) and then it takes you through your journey in hospital with photos and animated characters that talk through where they are and what happens there/
There's also lots of other helpful information, some games and relaxing exercises.

Might be useful for your DD if your hospital is on there.

Hope it all went well if she's already had it.

GoneIsAnotherSummersDay · 24/04/2024 10:44

My DD had the gas first then they put the cannula in once she was asleep. She has significant trauma issues around cannulation after a bad experience. I spoke to the anaesthetist (who comes round to speak to you when you arrive for the op) and requested gas first. They were absolutely fine about it.

Something that helps my DD is role play. Going through what will happen to try to take the fear of the unknown away. If you know roughly what the procedure is, go through it with her and then she can perform the whole routine on one of her teddies.

Go over the fact that you will be there at the point she drops off to sleep and you will be there when she wakes up so that she's not worried about being alone.

DD had worries about waking up during the OP. I explained that she has the anaesthetist there whose sole focus is to make sure she has the optimum amount of anaesthetic in her at all times so that she will be fast asleep during the OP and then gently brought round afterwards.

GoneIsAnotherSummersDay · 24/04/2024 10:54

Ah I didn't clock the date of the OP. Sorry! I hope the op went well OP.

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