Help/Advice getting 8 year old DD to have a filling!

[lifeohlife1]

Hi,

My 8 year old has just had a full meltdown on the dentists chair within the first few mins of having the numbing gel applied, before having a filling. The dentist didn't proceed (my DD wouldn't let her anyway - even after lots of calming and cajoling attempts) and has suggested a referral to have the filling with laughing gas to calm her - but this could be a long waiting list (3 months) and it is over 1 hour away; I think a strange, unfamiliar place could be worse tbh!

We told her in the months before that she was just having a 'deep clean' to prevent a filling, as the dentist had warned her before that there was a cavity that perhaps required a filling; she got v upset at this point, hence why I thought it best to not tell her she was going for an actual filling.

I kept it all calm and light hearted and tried to set expectation saying about applying numbing gel and then there would be some 'brushing' etc.

I can't help but feel the dentist was a tad brusque, zero preamble and they have zero distractions such as a TV. (I know it is the NHS, but by god, they can make things harder at times!!).

She used mild threat to try to persuade her, humph. My DD also saw all the instruments laid out, which set her off again!

There is a softer/warmer dentist at the practice so I may request he does it; asides of this, any advice please?

For anyone, who has had a child have a filling using nitrous oxide, did this help??

Thanks x

I'm sorry to hear your DD is so anxious. Nitrous oxide is excellent at helping with anxiety but you also need to prepare her. If there is a bit of a wait for her referral appointment start with some preparation.

Please don't tell her she is not having a filling, you can couch it in gentler terms such as the tooth is going to be cleaned and mended but it is still a filling. If you say it isn't a filling and the the dentist or assistant say it is at the appointment she will feel mislead. It's also impossible to hide instruments as they are on the cart to the side or in front of the chair. I like to show them to children so they know exactly what I'm using being open and honest, I'm not going to whip them out behind their back-again that destroys trust.
If a child is having a meltdown at the topical anaesthetic stage it's usually unlikely they will cooperate for the multiple steps of a filling and these all need a child to be compliant and be able to keep still and safe. A TV isn't a great distraction with safety glasses and hands and wrists in the way but if she has a favourite band/singer you would give her headphones and let her play music.

You could have a look at a platform such as Youtube for clips of children having RA to show her, explain that the tooth needs fixing to stop the hole getting bigger and that the special air will help her feel less worried.

Thank you so much, this is super helpful. I just hope the referral wait time isn't too long.