Can you talk me down- anxious mama

[Atlasstars1]

I have severe anxiety after my daughter got
very sick a couple of years ago when what I thought was your run of the mill tummy bug turned out to be something much more serious. She recovered but I’m left terrified of stomach bugs as a result as I missed the signs she needed help until she was very ill.
she looked pale when I got her from school today but played and ate normally. However she’s not gone down easily for the night which isn’t like her and she’s saying her tummy is sore ☹️my rational brain is telling me its likely to be a small tummy bug but the scared part of me is just triggered back to when she was
so poorly and it started with “my tummy hurts” so these words just have me panicking already. Oddly she’s also very cold feeling to touch though isn’t complaining of cold and definitely doesn’t have a fever.

i guess I just need a handhold, as on my own, thank you.

Handhold for you, OP. DH died suddenly when DD was 2 and as a result, whenever she’s ill I panic about her heart. I’ve taken her to the doctor and to A&E far too many times. But they are always kind, happy to see us and reassure me that they’d rather see a well child than miss a poorly one. It’s a good idea to get some professional help for your trauma response because it will stop you from passing your anxiety on to your DD, but in the meantime don’t be afraid of getting her checked out when you’re genuinely worried.

That said, at this age they get sore tummies all the time. DD gets one when she’s anxious, and also loads of kids get them when they’re fighting off a virus – apparently we have glands there like we have in our necks and groins etc and in children they can swell and get sore like we might get with a flu. I didn’t know this until the GP told me and it explained why DD got a sore stomach every time she had any kind of bug!

Anyways sending love, and I hope you get some sleep tonight.

What was wrong the first time? Is it something that can occur again?

If not then it probably is "just" a tummy bug. They are horrible but don't last long.

The important thing is that you stay calm so that they don't pick up on your anxiety (I know that is easier said than done)

But also, trust your instincts. If you think its something more then get them checked over

I can't give a lot of advice over your daughter's current situation but just thought I'd chip in to let you know I face anxiety in a similar way. My kids illness stresses me out immensely every single time, also crossed back to incidents where they ended up in hospital. I also get super anxious because whenever they are ill it means no one sleeps and it's always a difficult time.

If you are at all worried there is nothing to stop you ringing a number like 111, that's what the service is there for, but it does just sound like a normal bug.
As a side note as well, my children sometimes feel cold for a few hours before they come out in a temperature. But even then try to remember that with kids that's generally all very normal!
I hope it passes quickly for you, and though I wish neither of us had to experience such anxious feelings, it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who struggles in this way.
We are right now in the thick of cold and as such poised not to sleep again. 😫

I’m so very sorry to hear about your DH💞thank you for your kind message and you are right, I do need more help to manage my anxiety around this and you’re spot on about my likely lack of sleep tonight!
I did know about the tummy glands as my daughter had swollen ones for 6 months after her big infection and had a very sore tummy every day for that period and the Gp kept reassuring me it was other viruses making them swell and hurt, so thank you for reminding me of that. Maybe she’s just fighting an invisible as yet bug xx

What a shame, it’s no wonder you have these kind of worries. And same to pp who lost DH. I think just accept you feel anxious is a good start, don’t tell yourself you are stupid etc. It’s no wonder you have these thoughts but it doesn’t mean this is a dangerous situation like before. You learned things which have informed you. Tbh I think it’s quite normal to be a bit hypervigilant when they are suddenly a bit unwell and you don’t really know what’s going on yet. It’s ok to sleep beside her or do whatever helps you manage for now.

It would be very unlikely to be the same thing again, not impossible but very unlikely.

thank you so much, you’re right I’m already feeling anxious and like sleep will evade me which as you know anxiety doesn’t go well with ☹️she’s dropped off for now but my spidey senses are tingling in a bad way ☹️urgh anxiety is horrible. thank you for being here for me xx

And I’m sorry you’re facing a night of no sleep ☹️hope the horrid cold passes soon 💞

I came on here myself to try to distract myself from the anxious thoughts and found your post!

Awww that’s nice! Though im sorry youre
feeling anxious too ☹️

I’m camped out by her bed (I hope not too madly) with a book to try and distract me from my anxious thoughts.

@Atlasstars1 Morning OP, I don't have a solution I'm afraid but reaching out for a handhold - I too suffer from anxiety around the DCs health. My eldest suffers from a medically controlled condition but I am still riddled with anxiety most evenings and spend more time sleeping next to his bed than I do in my own! So, just to say you're not alone I do find sometimes my anxiety is heightened in the night time and come Morning I know I was worrying for nothing. I hope your DDs tummy is ok this Morning, there's no harm popping off to the GP today if it will give you some reassurance and you'll sleep better tonight.

How was your night OP? Did you get any sleep?

I got a bit of sleep, not much. Thank you for asking 💞she said she felt a bit sick but hasn’t actually been sick so I’ve taken her to school and had a quiet word with her teacher to say just to call me if she doesn’t seem right, problem is she’s the kind of kid who won’t tell anyone but me if she doesn’t feel ok- a few times I’ve picked her up she’s had a fever of 39 but soldiered through the day 🤦‍♀️

Just a little update:
she came home from school quite quiet and has eaten but says she has a sore ear, sore head and said she felt very tired and had a sore tummy at school. So I’m guessing a virus of some kind. She’s got a low grade fever of 37.8 but fully expecting it to go up as she always get super high temps when unwell. ugh. Hate not knowing what it is.

How old is she and how is she doing?

She’s still running a small fever and hasn’t eaten all evening but is drinking. Sore tummy around her bellybutton. Worse when she stands up 🤷‍♀️so she’s been lying on couch all evening which isn’t like her. I’m trying hard to keep repeating “it’s just a virus it’s just a virus”

Oh sorry forgot to add she’s newly 8

How is she doing today Op? Does she still have pain around the belly button? Anywhere else x