Worried about my 2 year old , is it the right decision to put him in nursery

[sxl]

My DS is 2 years and 2 months
He doesn't speak at all , he says "Mama" "car" and a few colours

I am really really worried
The health visitor came to me yesterday
And mentioned there are red flags for autism
He has this habit where he will have his dummy in his mouth but he likes to carry another one to and swap them over every 10 seconds .
Would any one else see this as a red flag ?
I just thought it was like a childhood comfort
some kids have rags they cling on to and others like labels ?

He doesn't listen when I call his name but then if I say "bye" he will look round immediately, so it's more selective hearing then not hearing me

In terms of physical health he is absolutely fine

He makes eye contact and he is very loving towards me

When he saw a tear roll down my cheek from the health visitor , he got upset and climbed on my lap to cuddle me so he definitely feels empathy

I really hope it's just speech delay and not autism , I have been crying my self to sleep

He is due to start nursery next week
I am hoping this will bring his speech on

Has any one had any experiences where their little one has improved massively on speech from nursery ?

I don't think few words at that age is necessarily a red flag.In any case to you can do a lot more to bring on his speech than a nursery can.
My second kid was the same and we took him out of nursery daycare and his grandparents started looking after him while we worked and brought on his speech no end ( he s Dr Breadsauce now) but still (ime) mumbles

Could you give me some tips on how to bring his speech on? I am a single mum , I feel like I could definitely do more , do you have any books you could recommend?

Don't get caught up on the stereo typical signs of autism.

Autistic people can do empathy in a variety of ways just like NT people. Same for eye contact. Every autistic person is different. Some autistic people have prolific vocab from early some are non verbal.

He is who he is and worry won't change that but I know it's hard not to.

I doubt the HV is qualified to screen or assess him but can refer I assume. Go with it and it's not all bad!

Ignore the dummy thing. Mine all had several they swapped around. Non of them are autistic.

presumably you aren't putting him in nursery just for fun - you need to work or have a bit of a break from childcare some of the time. at nursery, he will get to meet other children and play in different ways and learn new things. it will be good for him.

to bring his language on at home, talk to him as much as possible. narrate everyday life to him - as you hang up the laundry, tell him the colours of the socks and ask him to give them to you, that sort of thing. Name all the objects / animals etc that you see and describe them. it may feel silly but it is good for him. Also, try not to have TV or radio or music on all the time so that he can hear your voice clearly.

Singing songs and nursery rhymes are also great for language learning. pop songs and dancing round the living room if he likes that, or trad nursery rhymes (from you, not YouTube).

I would be wary of over-relying on the opinion of the HV as they are not really qualified in this area.

I think you need a specialist referral for the speech and I'd go for a chat with my GP about the whole picture.

By 2 he should have at least 100 words and be putting 2 words together eg ‘’more biscuit’. Speech delay doesn’t mean autism.

I would remove the dummy as it can hinder speech. Ask the GP to refer for a hearing test and self refer to SALT.

At home talk to him all the time (leave room for responses), sing songs lots and concern introducing some signing.

The HV shouldn't be making you cry. I'd complain.

There's a website called Tiny Happy People that has loads of tips, tricks and activity ideas to support speech development x

He’s got some speech delay but the HV isn’t qualified to diagnose autism so try and put that out of your mind.

Nursery should be good to bring on speech.

Having his dummy in all the time isn’t good for speech, so start to reduce that during the day quite swiftly. He is also quite old to have one, at least beyond bedtime.

You can do a lot at home - lots of reading, get him to help you with things and talk to him about what’s happening, conversations about things you see when you go out for walks.

OP my child had a speech delay and his dummy was his comfort, taking it away would have been cruel, too many people try and make you feel guilty about that but you have to do what's best for your own child. Mine gave it up when he was 3 and 3 months, and that's not unusual. Don't fall into the trap of counting his words either, all it does is makes you worry with a delayed child. Those milestones are all based on averages. There's not necessarily anything wrong with a child who hasn't met them yet, it depends entirely on the context.

Make sure you get the referrals for assessment with a paediatrician for autism as early as possible as the waiting lists are lonnnnnng, if he turns out to make enough gains not to need an appointment you can always cancel and discharge him later but if you're not on the list you're not in the queue if you need help.

We put our DS into nursery. He's been to 2 as we had to move countries. The first nursery didn't really make a difference but it wasn't bad either. The right nursery can make such a difference though, the second one we sent him to was incredible.

Talk to nurseries about what experience they have working with children with speech delays. Some will say "all our staff are fully trained" (which is nursery speak for no one on the team has specialist experience but they're all qualified to work with all children) and others may say "we have someone who is a specialist with autism/speech delay/developmental delay" or similar, in which case they're your best option. The first sort isn't a bad option but it means they won't have the same sort of strategies at their fingertips.

Our DS came on really quickly working for a year with a very experienced member of staff who was really good with speech and language issues.
He can now hold simple conversations at 4 and understands most of what you say and can express himself (and listen) a lot better. I'd say being in an environment where there are lots of things to do and people to talk to helped him a lot.

At home you can support him by simplifying everything. Don't avoid yes/no for simple interactions. I used his name as much as possible because he had no concept of you/me/I and didn't respond to his name either. And try and boil everything down into two-word sentences. "Mummy help?" (do you want mummy to help you with that?) "George hungry?" (Would you like something to eat?). Work with his interests. "Fast car" "Lamborghini" go for walks around your neighborhood and point to car badges. For example we'd go out and only point out every single Mercedes, then on a later walk when he gets that, "Red Mercedes" and later still "What car is it, George?"

He will pick up lots more from talking about his favourite thing as that's what he can focus on.

Oh and FYI Einstein was a late talker. People used to think it was always a sign of SEN but it isn't. There's a growing body of evidence that some highly intelligent children (with or without SEN) are late talkers because they're learning ALL the words and concepts before saying them. It sort of corresponds with "the silent period" we talk about when working with children with English as an Additional Language.

My DS had speech delay, one of the helpful
Suggestions I received was to give a commentary day to day while you're around the house with him. It sounds over the top but just describe what your doing etc

Children all develop differently. Don't get upset or anxious over it, it won't help. Lots of reading and talking with your child, just narrate your days - have fun, enjoy yourself, get outside as much as you can. Nursery will only benefit as well.

My daughter had speech regression around 18 months and had a working vocabulary of 3 words losing words if she learnt a new one. We were doing some work with the HV and the nursery when our nursery closed with no notice.
She started a new nursery at 2 after 11 weeks without formal childcare and with a handful of words and mostly communicated with pointing and within 2 months in the new nursery she was communicating with words and even had 2 and 3 word sentences! At 3 she was at the same point as her peers.

This is so lovely and so positive to hear
Thank you

Any update on your son?

Christ I hate the fact that everyone initial jump is to ASD or similar.

it could be speech delay. He does speak. You said he says mama etc.

my boy wasn’t speaking much at 2 bits and pieces but not as much as my now second child does. I would push for a SALT referral ASAP as they can take ages. And get rid of the dummy. I wish I had done it sooner with my eldest but when I was going to the baby came and I felt bad but looking back I should have got rid of it before 2. He was 2.5 when it went and surprisingly it went without drama.

at home lot and lots and lots of talking to him. Literally narrate your day. Feels exhausting at first but you get used to it. Then when you hand him thing eg cup of milk model the word ‘cup’ say ur and point to it. Do this as much as you can. Single words only to start. Then build. Blue cup. Etc.

there’s lots of good SALT videos online too to help.

Oh and push for a hearing test