21 Month Old Doesn’t Talk

[Kitchy10]

Just looking for some advice really. So my 21 month old DS doesn’t really say any words. He says mumum, dadad, that’s about it. Just yesterday he said “apple” twice, clearly but with lots of prompting from us. He makes lot of sounds and babbles constantly. He understands everything we say or ask of him, he engages with us and other people (including strangers) there’s plenty of eye contact and he generally responds when we call his name (can be one or two attempts to get his attention if he’s watching TV) He does handlead but this is a new thing which I do feel is due to him not being able to actually tell me what he wants. I’m absolutely concerned about his lack of speech and I have immediate family members constantly hinting that he is autistic (I have a niece and nephew with autism) and comparing him with his NT cousins. I understand that there is a possibility he could be autistic but myself and his father both didn’t speak until we were 3 years old so it could well be just a speech delay. I work part time so he is with my mum while I’m working and has been since around 13 months old (he starts nursery next April) and as far as I know he is just left to watch TV and play independently when there. When I am with him I play with him and read to him and try to encourage him to speak with games, toys and pictures. Also take him to messy play, play groups when I can. I just recently massively cut down on screen time (he didn’t have much anyway) and he also has a dummy which I’ve been reducing too. I’m noting my concerns and will contact the HV team in the new year if I’m not seeing any improvements/developments in his speech. I know he will have a review around 27 months, also.
Has anyone else had experience of this? Am
I just worrying too much? I feel to blame for him not speaking and like I haven’t done enough for his development. He was born 4 weeks early was a bit late crawling but other than that he has hit the appropriate milestones.
I was with him 24/7 until he was 13 months old and I went back to work. The guilt I felt was immense and I was almost close to a breakdown during the first few weeks back at work. If I’m honest I wish I could’ve stayed with him until he starts nursery but financially it wasn’t viable. Anyway, I’m waffling now!

Has he had a hearing test? My DD was slow to start talking, we didn't realise that she couldn't hear properly until she was at nursery. She has glue ear which went away as she grew up.

My son was exactly like this until very recently. He is now 28 months (hate saying it in months but just so you can see where he is) and I’d say in the last 2-3 months he has just exploded with all these words. Even if I read to him, showed him word cards etc for months he wouldn’t even attempt to say the words but all of a sudden after turning 2 he just started saying a few more words each day and now suddenly he’s saying things together and the health visitor even said this week that she’s not concerned anymore. They can and do catch up! Hopefully he will be the same

That’s exactly what I’ve been doing with him and I’m getting nowhere. It’s so reassuring to know that you’ve had a very similar experience and your son caught up. Thank you for your reply!

He hasn’t had one since he was born but it’s definitely something I’ll consider as he could well have a hearing issue. Thank you :)

My DD is 20 months and she doesn't talk other than word here and there but I can see she understands everything I say to her and knows what I am asking her to do. I am not worried at all as I know she will talk when she is ready. I wouldn't worry about autism unless there are other signs yours is showing.

My DS didn't talk then either. Not a word, even Mamma. I'd raised it with the health visitor and booked to see a speech specialist

Then at 25 months he said 'key' as in car key. By 28 months he was chatting in full sentences. Nothing wrong with his hearing or anything else, he just didn't want to.

So check with the GP but don't worry too much yet.

I’ve been there OP, I know how worrying it is. Does he follow an instruction, like getting his shoes if you asked him to?

He does often follow instructions when I ask “can you get me your….” And when I say “shall we go to bed” or “do you want a bath?” he’ll go to the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs as he knows both the bed and bath are upstairs

This sounds like what my little boy did, maybe it’s fairly common around age 2! The health visitor said maybe he was retaining all of the words but didn’t actually start saying them until later and that was why he knew them all so quick

It does seem like it is very common - more common than I thought. I’ve spoken to quite a few people about it and they have all said in their experience boys have started talking later around 24-27 months. I’ll adopt a wait and see approach until his next review and in the meantime do as much as I can to encourage his speech :)

My DS wasn’t talking at his 2 year old check up with health visitor. I admit we spoiled him and he only had to point to get what he wanted and he made a sippy sound when he wanted a drink. Health visitor was concerned and said she would contact us again in 6 months, all other checks were good, he walked at 11 months old. We stopped doing everything for him, if he wanted a drink we’d say what drink would you like. He loved books so I would get him to repeat words. He also was with my mother in law 2 days a week, she definitely spoiled him, so we had to tell her he needed to ask for things first. Health visitor phoned at 2 1/2 years and he spoke to her on the phone. He had speech all the time, he just needed coaching to use it.

My son said nothing at that age. He had speech delay and then needed speech and language therapy for some pronunciation issues. He's 5.5 now and chats away constantly. He has one sound that's hit and miss but other than that, he's as clear as a bell and has a great vocabulary.

My first (boy) was like this. We had his hearing checked, all fine. He exploded with words somewhere between 2 and 3 and now at almost 5 won't stop talking! My youngest though is under 2 and chats in full sentences. I've read girls tend to talk earlier, and I guess she has an older brother constantly talking.

She does talk some absolute nonsense though, she forgets where she puts things and then wonders around asking 'where is the apple? He hiding.' She thinks everything is hiding 🙄 It's adorable. She's only just started to run and jump though, whereas ds was running before he could walk, from around 10 months. She's much slower physically.

Nothing wrong with getting a hearing check and seeing how it goes from there. But not out of the reams of normal either :)

Nothing wrong with getting his hearing checked, but another "mine was fine" story.
DS1 is old enough that the 2 year check was 10 words. He failed it. Hearing fine.
About 27 months,he just started in sentences.
For some, it is definitely an over 2 thing to start talking.

Mine is 2 next month and only words are ‘mama, dada’ and ‘yeah’. I’m not too worried just yet. I’ve heard so many stories of kids learning to talk a bit later than others so I’m sure it’ll happen soon.

What's standing out for me is the mention of TV a few times in your OP.
If the TV is on a lot (even if he's not directly watching it) this will hinder his ability to pick out individual sounds to reproduce them himself as your speech just blurs in with the background noise to an untrained ear. Whilst he may hear enough to understand, it's much more difficult to learn the sounds to speak.
Try limiting the TV being on to less than an hour a day and focus on activities to actively speak to / with him. Reading books, narrating small world play, cooking or arts and crafts etc.
There's a really good book that I read about this when mine were small. It's called What to Do When Your Child Isn't Talking by Nicola Lathey and Tracey Blake.

A friend of mine said the same thing about the TV and it completely makes sense. I’ve made the decision to give him only one hour of screen time a day now. Thank you so much for your reply and the book recommendation. I’ll definitely look into it. Since reading the replies to my thread, I’ve felt so reassured and I am less panicked about it. I’ve been doing many things recommended to me by people I’ve spoken to about it and I’m already seeing a difference in his speech, he’s making clearer sounds and he has attempted a few new words!

Just chiming in to add that until he was 2.5 my son didn't talk - he understood us and he had different noises that meant different words, but he didn't string them together into two or more word phrases. I was worried but not too worried because I knew he understood us. Then all of a sudden when he was about two and a half he just started putting more than one word together and it all clicked into place after that. He's three now and won't shut up, and I'd say has caught up to his peers who were talking earlier! Some kids just arrive a little bit later!

Hi any updates please

Hi, so yes he has massively progressed in his speech. He’s saying lots and lots of words and he’s able to tell us when he wants to eat, sleep etc “I eat” “I tired” . his interactions are improving hugely too. He’s not quite as he should be so we are liaising with our local ELIM team so hopefully we’ll get a little more information and support as to how to encourage his speech more but there’s been huge progression which is ongoing :)

Thank you so much for your answer . Do you still have concern for autism or it’s eased off ? X

My concern has eased off quite a bit but I’m very unsure as I’m no professional. He does seem a little behind with social and emotional development such as recognising emotions or at least expressing them, although when he gets upset he does say “I sad” sometimes.

Was just wondering what happened in the end as my son is exactly the same at 21 months now x

So he is now 3 years 7 months - his speech is great, you can have small conversations with him and he is able to express himself. Turns out he just needed more time to develop. He is having an integrated review at his nursery in October because his social emotional development seems to be behind and he is showing sensory seeking behaviours as well as signs of hyperlexia so we could be looking at autism but who knows, the professionals may see differently. He is social but doesn’t like big groups, is happy with one to three other children but if there’s more he’s not interested or will just walk away from the group. However, in regards to his speech and the negative behaviours in response to not being able to communicate effectively, there’s been massive improvements and progress so the concern there is gone.

That's great to hear and best of luck with the review x