To still fear toxoplasmosis AFTER baby is born

[Allwinter]

I have a DD who was born healthy and is 3 months old now. Three weeks ago I had an MRI with contrast medium and was adviced to continue breastfeeding but was told that if I felt like it, I could pump and dump the first few doses, so I did, and we gave previously expressed milk to our baby that day. Because of "pump and dump" I didn't pay so much attention to hygiene when assembling the pump and the plastic bottle - I knew I wouldn't give that milk to our DD. So I ate a banana and a sandwich and then assembled the bottle after coming from the hospital around noon. I washed my hands when coming home from the hospital but not after touching the banana and the sandwich.

Then I made a mistake. After having pumped three times that day, I left the "contaminated" bottle on the kitchen table waiting to be washed and assembled. There was a clean bottle next to it. Then went to do the laundry and my DP came home from work. DP decided to feed DD and accidentally used that "contaminated" bottle when feeding our DD. :( The moment I found out I felt terrified and have googled all worst-case-scenarios ever since.

DD didn't get stomach upset, she has been healthy and well all these three weeks. No fever, no swollen lymph nodes, no rash. But I still feel quite upset about it. I keep thinking if I might have passed toxoplasmosis from the unwashed banana skin to the bottle. I have only very recently learned that fruit skin might contain traces of listeria and toxo, including melons, avocados, lemons - but I don't know if bananas too. If a small baby gets toxo, are the risks still the same as with congenital toxoplasmosis? Is there a risk of mental disability or blindness?

I have not managed to find any information on acquired toxoplasmosis in children younger than 1 year of age, not to even mention newborns. Only one Brazilian research paper about a boy, 2 months, who had sucked on piece of meat at a barbecue party (!) and developed classic symptoms of fever, jaundice etc.

Should I have her tested for toxo antibodies? Any reassurance would be very much appreciated. The thought of a parasite doing harm inside my DD is terrifying, even if I know one third of the world's population has it and for them life mainly goes on normally. (I don't have toxo antibodies, was tested one during pregnancy)

I think you need to put this dark thought to bed. The baby is fine.

Gently, this is ultra-unnecessary worrying. Wrap up warm and go for a nice walk, listening to some lovely music or a funny podcast and clear your head.

All is well and you have a healthy baby.

Toxoplasmosis as I understand it is fine if caught, it's only when you catch it for the first time when you're pregnant that it can cause the problems if passed onto the unborn baby. Most people who catch toxoplasmosis don't even realise they've had it. I worried so much about this when I was pregnant but everything there is to worry about should be saved for when you're pregnant! How much bacteria do you think could have physically passed from that banana skin to the milk, and of that bacteria how much do you think would have been enough to cause harm? You would need to ingest more than that, so don't worry :)

You really don’t need to get her tested. I would genuinely consider talking to your GP or health visitor about this anxiety to help you put it to bed. Even if the banana skin had significantly high levels of toxoplasmosis that it infected you (extremely unlikely) and it stayed on your skin, how hard were you wiping your hands on the inside of this bottle anyway?? And even if you did transmit large amounts of toxoplasmosis to the inside of the bottle or top of the teat (just not going to happen really), it still wouldn’t infect your baby.

Your baby will be absolutely fine I promise. We could give you all the reassurances in the world however but I suspect that even if they calmed you briefly, the worry would either return or transfer onto something else. This isn’t about the banana or the bottle or the toxoplasmosis - this is about your anxiety and fears more generally, and your belief that something will happen to your precious baby. I know because I have been there. Post natal anxiety and depression can often take the form of intrusive thoughts and obsessions and can be utterly disabling. Please chat to your health visitor and GP - they won’t remotely judge you and will have seen it tons of times before. Motherhood is hard enough without the burden of all these horrible thoughts and worries and getting to the root cause will be transformative for you.

Toxoplasmosis is a parasite not a bacterium. You can catch it from eating undercooked or raw meat or from cat poo. It can be present on dirty fruits and vegetables but the chances of your bananas having cat poo on them, that then got on your hands, and then into the inside of the baby bottle is so small it’s not worth worrying about.
Add to that the fact that most people who get toxoplasmosis have no symptoms ever, I think you can put this one to rest.

Kindly, please do not worry about this OP. Once, when my DS was little, my MIL gave him a bottle and used a dirty one (which was in the sink!). I was panicked.. BUT, he was fine. Yours will be too. I understand your worry and anxiety, but your LO will be fine x

It sounds as if you might have some underlying health anxiety that needs addressing? Look after yourself and the little one.

Thank you all.
I think I'm now on the brighter side of this struggle and worry.
Your comments definitely helped me through this however I want to share what also did.
I actually called a pediatrician this morning. What he said was that while my focus was on toxoplasmosis, he could easily name dozens of other germs that I might just as well pay my attention to and worry about. He said that while it cannot be 100% ruled out that my DD's caught toxo, that applies to countless other germs too. Why not test for all other parasites on planet, listeria etc? To be completely certain, we would need to test DD constantly and repeatedly. Because there are new theoretical exposures every day, every week. That's why the main principle is to test and worry only when there is a clear indication: when child seems unwell.

This logical approach helped me, I've only had a fraction of anxiety left.