Teen not sleeping

[Batwalk]

My 14 yo is not sleeping. And she's getting me up 2-3 times per night for reassurance. She goes to sleep ok but then wakes up and gets anxious. She's generally v mature so I've tried reasoning with her, and she understands but can't break the habit. I don't want to ignore her in the night. I used to get anxious too and I wouldn't have wanted to be left alone. But what else can I do? Is there anyone I can speak to for help?

GP for referral to CAMHS. And contact the school nurse for other local help.

Is she turning her phone off and leaving it downstairs? Is she smoking weed?

You can buy melatonin gummies on line. My teen DD has a prescription for melatonin and it's been a life changer, but they are hard to come by. Lots of people who don't buy them on line I think.

Is there any possibility of ASD or ADHD? If there is disrupted sleep patterns when they hit their teens is very common. We are constantly battling to get my 15 year old back onto a proper day/night pattern. It's simply not her natural rhythm.

If she's neurotypical but still having sleep issues I'd try the long standing good sleep methods; warm milk, chamomile tea, cherry juice (contains natural Melatonin which helps you get to sleep), white noise or calming sounds like waterfalls etc, a walk an hour or so before bedtime, calms herbal tablets. Hopefully at least one of these methods might help.

You can start speaking to your daughter

not at night but during the day

something is wrong. And I would think that therapy may be very very worthwhile

Why are you “reasoning” with her rather than “talking” with her

Does she go to sleep OK, is she tired when she goes to sleep. You need to get to route of the anxiety, school probably the quickest way to get help with that.

It's not weed and it's not her phone. She may have ASD traits but not to a level that would be diagnosed I don't think (me too). By reasoning, I mean talking through from all angles. She knows logically that she's not in any danger in the nighttime etc. I guess I was hoping some solutions might present themselves in those conversations. She's tired when she goes to sleep and can drop off quite easily. The one thing that we've tried and has stuck is doing a real-life activity right before bedtime, eg a card game or craft. It's nice to have that half hour together and it is relaxing. We do actually have some melatonin from travelling but haven't used it for this. School already know about her general anxiety. Maybe I need to speak to them again about any help they can provide. I'm doing my best but I'm exhausted.

Melatonin will only help her go to sleep it won't keep her asleep. Speak to doctors they might recommend a antihistamine, this would help her sleep but not sort the issue. My youngest is autistic, adhd, touretts and has anxiety disorder, he's never slept well and he doesn't need much sleep but when his anxiety is bad he'll wake me up several times and it's bloody hard going. We tried relaxation apps, meditation, mindfulness, he had therapy and although things helped its never gone away. When he wakes now he'll put a movie on(something light nothing violent ar over stimulating) or listen to a podcast, this was recommended by camhs not something I just done. It does help but isn't a cure.

There was a sleep therapist that did an AMA on here recently- they responded to queries with really detailed responses that it might be worth looking at!

I’d be giving her some magnesium to help, and a good calm bedtime routine.

I'm a Sleep Scientist www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/4897728-im-a-sleep-scientist

Sorry, sleep scientist, not therapist!

Thank you for the thread suggestion, will read through. And for the other thoughts above. I'll discuss some options with her.

My ds went through a phase like this at about this age. He slept on a mattress on our floor for a couple of months and it passed. Never got to the bottom of it....