5 year old DD too scared to poop

[sidsparrownew]

5 year old DD had a sore poop a few months ago and since then has been stopping herself going and when it gets to the point that she really needs to go, she cries and cries and mopes about. I've taken her to the doctor who gave us a mild laxitive, but that doesn't help the psychological part. We try to tell her that her last poop wasn't that sore in the end and although she agrees it doesn't seem to change how scared she is. She gets herself so worked up about it, and all the amount of coaxing and talking doesn't help. I've tried taking her for walks to get things 'moving', which helps the odd time. The main problem is how upset she gets - this can go on for the best part of the day. We're at our wits end. She has also missed school, because when it gets so bad, she refuses to go then she has to rush to the toilet because it's coming out - I'm trying to save her the embarrassment. All the online advice is for younger children - I had no issues with potty training. So I don't know how we've got to here. Is it psychological? Or should I take her back to the doctor and ask for further investigation? She doesn't have any allergies, although I have stopped giving her yoghurt for her eczema. Any advice?

Give her a stool softener (probably the laxative you have is a stool softener) and explain that it's a stool softener and therefore how soft and easy it'll be.

I sympathise because I've had horrendous and painful constipation while pregnant and it's made me afraid to go sometimes.

Keep giving the laxative to soften the stool until she starts going regularly without holding it in. It will take awhile for her to let go of the fear.

Have you identified why it was hard in the first place? Did she not drink enough water? The reason I ask is that my DS Is lactose intolerant and he would get constipated from it and since we went lactose free he no longer has that problem.!

Ok, thank you @Mummy08m and @OrderOfTheKookaburra

I think when I stopped giving her yoghurt it maybe caused a change in her digestive system, and I think that's where the sore poop started but her skin is better. I too have had constipation after giving birth - it was awful, so I do get it. I've looked up the symptoms for lactose intolerance and it doesn't really fit. I will keep giving her the laxative to try and to get her regular.

Just be mindful that my DS didn't fit the profile for lactose intolerance symptoms and in fact was not diagnosed even though under the care of a paediatrician for quite a number of years and was on prescribed laxatives.

When I trialled lactose free all of his symptoms cleared up. The majority of people with lactose intolerance suffer from diarrhoea, but in a small number of cases it can have the opposite effect and cause constipation.

I only went lactose free for the daily milk products and didn't go milk/dairy free for store bought products, btw. That was enough as the intolerance itself is mild, and the side effects just gradually build up. So for home made crepes in use lactose free milk, for hot chocolates lactose free, but pancakes etc at a cafe I don't order anything special.

My DD had similar issues. she was in nappies at night til 5 going on 6. She had movicol for about 4 years to help get things moving. All very frustrating! Things improved greatly by age 6 though i still need to encourage her to drink water as she gets occasionally still gets constipated and tummy pain a few years on . Any time I took her to the gp they said to get her to drink More and keep going with the laxative. I think the most useful things were: encouragement to drink water; movicol; gentle positive encourage after bowel movement (but not to overdo it as it causes stress later); and definitely lots of patience and understanding. She knew the Bristol stool chart (was in her 'my body' book and we kept a record of bowel movements to look for habits. I think it is definitely at least in part psychological and very uncomfortable for them, so it's very important st to not get impatient or cross. There is some good advice here:

eric.org.uk/information/