Three Year Old Son Won’t Eat

[Paul2023]

Hi all,

Amy advice appreciated. Out three year old just won’t eat. Hardly anything.
He used to like shepherds pie and would even eat a tiny bit of veg . But now won’t touch it. He just refused his meal , I can’t remember the last time he eat properly.

At lunch time we had some friends over and made the kids chicken nuggets and fries. Again, he didn’t eat a thing.

In the mornings he wakes up and asks for a bottle , anywhere from 4 am onwards, there’s no set time. He’ll sometimes eat cereal but only dry- without milk. But not daily.

Evening time before bed time he’ll go to bed with a bottle. This is just standard blue milk.

He will constantly ask for snacks - biscuits and melties . Melties are for babies and toddlers, they’re like wafer crisps that melts in the mouth.

We even go without giving him snacks thinking he’ll eat a meal but he doesn’t. He’s literally not eating anything. We tried a reward chart but he didn’t understand it.

He was a very premature baby anyway so I’ve always been worried about his size
and development.

Weve made an appointment with a health visitor but I’ve no idea what they’ll suggest. On the phone they said make a food diary, prior to seeing them. We’re seeing them this week.

It’s honestly so draining, me and DW are at the end of our tethers.

Family and friends say he looks normal to them but we know he’s not eating.

It’s so worrying and frustrating to try and get food down a child who doesn’t want to eat. I hope you get some good advice from the HV who hopefully will have experience of strategies that might help. My only advice is whatever you try, don’t panic if it doesn’t seem to be helping and rush to try something else. I definitely did that out of sheer panic and I don’t think that helped. The food diary is a good idea. What amazed me was how little my DD could eat and still manage to grow and have energy. It was insane. Couldn’t even tempt her with sweets.

My anxiety around wanting/needing her to eat definitely didn’t help things either in hindsight. Good luck. I hope you are soon out the other side of this.

Good idea to seek advice.
Is there a reason why he's still having a bottle rather than a cup at this age?
Have you heard of ARFID? Might be worth looking up and seeing if it is similar to what you're experiencing.
My DD was/is quite specific in what she could tolerate with the taste and texture of foods. Nothing mixed up, wet or wobbly! Kids who are quite food phobic also react poorly to things which can vary in flavour - so dry, crunchy predictable foods - like the melties - are very reassuring.

The bottle is mainly so he can lay in bed to drink it, mornings and evenings . Atleast I know he’s taking in that.

Just googled ARFID, never heard of it before though.

My daughter was like this- until she was 4.5 ish she lived off milk and snack foods pretty much (although apparently did eat meals at nursery- just not at home). The most existing we got was plain pasta and broccoli! But we had a turning point one day and now she eats loads!
It's so hard when you're in that situation to not stress about it, but all the advice I had read just said leave them be- keep offering new things but don't stress if they don't eat them

Your GP may be able to prescribe pediasure, I can't imagine a 3 year old will have enough nutrition from only full fat milk.

Mine is like this but he's autistic, might be worth talking to your gp about finding the root of why he isn't eating much.
Try to give a gummy multi vitamin daily or add a liquid one to his milk. You could also try making biscuits at home with recipes specifically to hide vegetables in, quite a few online if you google it. I find mini american style pancakes good, beige and plain so he'll eat them but a way to get egg into his diet.

I was going to suggest ARFID too. Really worth keeping a good diary, will make it easier to explain to medical professionals. Might be worth asking for a referral to a paediatric dietitian?

You can buy it tomorrow in Boots.

Hi, how is your son doing now? Any improvements? Came across this thread as we are going through the same at the same age.

Hi ,well it’s been a few years but some improvements. He’s now five and a half..

He eats cereal, including in the evening after dinner before he goes to bed. Bibut bit with milk.

He now eats broccoli, after I offer him a little prize for doing so if he eats it. I know your not supposed to bribe kids when it comes to food but there we are.

He mainly eats scrambled egg, broccoli on Sundays , potato waffles , nuggets, chips, pasta. He won’t eat sandwiches though, to take to school.

I did an online call with a health visitor after my original post, no one actually saw him. It was basically an online advice centre , other parents were on it to..

I wanted to get him weighted and measured, however those days seem to be long gone now sadly , when you could get a health visitor to actually see a child, It seems to have to jump through lots of hoops to get an appointment like that , unless you go private..

But some improvements as he’s got older anyway.

Theres no secret cure sadly, no matter how much we want kids to try out new foods or eat certain things ..