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Original poster

5 month old baby handled by someone who has a cold sore

27 replies

TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:17

Firstly I feel absolutely sick and guilty for allowing this to happen.

Someone who I know has had cold sore outbreaks in the past held my baby today. I noticed something on their lip but when asked about it they said the skin just split and it wasn't an outbreak.

I am ashamed to say that I let social politeness get the better of me and I didn't challenge them or immediately take my baby back. I just kind of froze. I should have been more assertive.

I've since been reading and thinking about what the herpes virus can do to babies and I can't believe I put my child in danger like that. It is highly contagious but seems to only be the pus/blister? I definitely didn't see that so I'm hoping and praying that it's going to be okay.

Does anyone have any experience with this? What should I be looking out for in terms of symptoms in the coming days/weeks/months?

OP posts:
TakeMe2Insanity · 09/10/2023 22:19

So I would calm down a bit. At 5 months your baby would have built up a bit of an immune system and this isn’t the same level of panic as if a newborn had been held. Hopefully it won’t happen.

KnickerlessParsons · 09/10/2023 22:20

I get cold sores but no one else in my family has ever caught them off me.
I'm sure your baby will be fine
(And there are much worse things in life than cold sores - although they can be very annoying).

Megifer · 09/10/2023 22:20

Umm you probably did about 5 things way more risky to/for your baby today than letting someone with a coldsore hold it! Baby will be fine ☺️

Unicornio1990 · 09/10/2023 22:30

I had a cold sore when I had a newborn baby and I still had to hold her...

Unicornio1990 · 09/10/2023 22:31

(... obviously you shouldn't kiss a baby, or anyone, when you have a coldsore, and they can be fatal to young babies, but still I think yours will be fine.)

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:32

Unicornio1990 · 09/10/2023 22:30

I had a cold sore when I had a newborn baby and I still had to hold her...

And did you pass the virus on to the baby or was she okay?

OP posts:
WetBandits · 09/10/2023 22:33

You asked them if they had an active coldsore and they said no. What’s the issue?

Boundoverbyacat · 09/10/2023 22:34

They’ll be fine, it’s when they’re teeny tiny it can be dangerous. And even then it usually isn’t

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:35

WetBandits · 09/10/2023 22:33

You asked them if they had an active coldsore and they said no. What’s the issue?

They might have been lying or not aware as it would have been the early stages - is that still a risk? I don't know but I'm very worried about what will happen if it's passed on to my young baby.

OP posts:
Ruffpuff · 09/10/2023 22:36

I’ve never even had a cold sore, but I didn’t kiss my own baby’s face/hands just in case (obviously, I did on the head). So I completely understand the anxiety around it.

However, it won’t affect your baby just from touch. My baby’s father had present cold sores and had to handle the baby (from only 2 weeks old). A cuddle won’t do any harm.

Unicornio1990 · 09/10/2023 22:38

TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:32

And did you pass the virus on to the baby or was she okay?

Show quote history

No, she has never caught the virus.

EasterMummie · 09/10/2023 22:38

Ruffpuff · 09/10/2023 22:36

I’ve never even had a cold sore, but I didn’t kiss my own baby’s face/hands just in case (obviously, I did on the head). So I completely understand the anxiety around it.

However, it won’t affect your baby just from touch. My baby’s father had present cold sores and had to handle the baby (from only 2 weeks old). A cuddle won’t do any harm.

You didn't kiss your baby on the face?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/10/2023 22:39

Did they kiss your baby? If not then very unlikely to spread. But I would call gp for advice in case they want to give antivirals etc

WetBandits · 09/10/2023 22:42

TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:35

They might have been lying or not aware as it would have been the early stages - is that still a risk? I don't know but I'm very worried about what will happen if it's passed on to my young baby.

Show quote history

Or they just had a split lip? If they get coldsores, they would know that they had one coming before anything appeared on the skin.

The herpes viruses can shed without any outward symptoms (up to 80% of the population are carriers of at least one type of herpesvirus) so the virus can pass from person to person without any active symptoms (you might even carry it yourself, it’s more likely than not!)

However, as long as they were not kissing your baby on the face, the risk is very small whether or not they had an active coldsore.

You do sound very anxious though, is this a new thing since your baby arrived?

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:46

@WetBandits yeah I mean I'm very worried about my baby and exposing him to unnecessary or avoidable harm, but that's normal isn't it?

I know you're hinting at PND or similar but I think I'm just worried about him and angry at myself for letting things happen instead of going through an awkward moment.

I've always been rubbish at confrontation and useless when put on the spot, this is just another example in a long line of that.

OP posts:
AppropriateAdult · 09/10/2023 22:50

But there was nothing to confront, OP. There is a potential risk to very young (ie newborn) babies when somebody with an active cold sore makes direct contact with their skin. None of those things applied in this case. You've nothing to feel guilty about.

TakeMe2Insanity · 09/10/2023 22:52

AppropriateAdult · 09/10/2023 22:50

But there was nothing to confront, OP. There is a potential risk to very young (ie newborn) babies when somebody with an active cold sore makes direct contact with their skin. None of those things applied in this case. You've nothing to feel guilty about.

I agree.

Your being unnecessarily harsh on yourself.

Megifer · 09/10/2023 22:53

TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:46

@WetBandits yeah I mean I'm very worried about my baby and exposing him to unnecessary or avoidable harm, but that's normal isn't it?

I know you're hinting at PND or similar but I think I'm just worried about him and angry at myself for letting things happen instead of going through an awkward moment.

I've always been rubbish at confrontation and useless when put on the spot, this is just another example in a long line of that.

I don't think its typical to be this anxious about someone with something on their lip that might or might not be a coldsore. Nor would I think it normal to confront anyone in this situation.

Your baby will be fine. Give it 4 months and they'll be licking the floor and you'll just be like meh whatever 🤣

WetBandits · 09/10/2023 22:55

TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:46

@WetBandits yeah I mean I'm very worried about my baby and exposing him to unnecessary or avoidable harm, but that's normal isn't it?

I know you're hinting at PND or similar but I think I'm just worried about him and angry at myself for letting things happen instead of going through an awkward moment.

I've always been rubbish at confrontation and useless when put on the spot, this is just another example in a long line of that.

But you did ask them if they had a coldsore and they told you they didn’t. What else did you expect them to say or do if they genuinely didn’t have a coldsore?

You’ve been reassured by several posters that there is only a risk if your baby was kissed on the face or hands by someone with an active coldsore. I’m not hinting at PND, but I am suggesting that you seem to be very anxious about something that hasn’t happened, which is not a fun way to live (trust me), could you have a chat with your HV about both the coldsore/not coldsore thing and maybe about your anxiety around your baby?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 09/10/2023 23:02

The only time I've ever had a cold sore was when ds was a couple of months old,bhe was 8 weeks premature so adjusted he was a new born, I didn't pass it on. Dh gets them a lot and always has, no one else gets them.

Elderscrolling · 09/10/2023 23:10

My cousin had a baby that her aunt who had persistent cold sores held when she was out. She was irate when she found out. She was in a medical field so I'm guessing she had good reason to know if this was a risk?

I think your feeling is justified. It's your baby.

KnickerlessParsons · 10/10/2023 06:53

Ruffpuff · 09/10/2023 22:36

I’ve never even had a cold sore, but I didn’t kiss my own baby’s face/hands just in case (obviously, I did on the head). So I completely understand the anxiety around it.

However, it won’t affect your baby just from touch. My baby’s father had present cold sores and had to handle the baby (from only 2 weeks old). A cuddle won’t do any harm.

A) you didn't kiss your baby other than on the head? 🤔

B) by touch is exactly how you catch a cold sore.

PureAmazonian · 10/10/2023 09:29

My mum has had cold sores for years, ever since us kids were small. None of us have had any, she used to just warn us not to come near her face, or kiss her, when they would come up.
Honestly, if the person didn't actively kiss your baby, they will be fine.

Wallquestion159 · 10/10/2023 11:02

@TheBeesKnee I totally understand how you are feeling. Someone with an obvious cold sore kissed my baby ON THE LIPS when she was 6 months old. I was sick with worry.

She's 2 now and has had no ill effects so hopefully this reassures you. I understand PP saying there are worse things and it's not that bad etc but surely it's normal to want to protect your baby from any kind of harm!

I also remember the guilt and feeling like a failure for not preventing it, on top of the worry about what could happen. Your reaction is normal, but I think it is highly unlikely anything will happen so give yourself a break from the worry and enjoy your baby.

Hope456 · 06/05/2024 08:02

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