Normal behaviour?

[febbabies2023]

DS is 3 years 3 months old and generally well behaved, fairly non problematic aside from the normal 3 year old tantrums!

We've just come back from holiday 2 weeks ago. Not sure if it's anything to do with that but his behaviour seems to have changed. Some things I've noticed is

• suddenly only wanting daddy. Meltdown if daddy leaves, won't let anyone else do anything for him has to literally be up daddy's arse 24/7
• he seems confused a little. Keeps saying 'I want to go home' when we are home. Or 'I want to go to other home' we don't have another home
• talking to himself a lot when he goes to bed. Like he's talking himself through his day or processing it I don't know
• wakes up at whatever time and won't go back to sleep unless daddy goes in and sleeps with him (he's got a double bed)

All normal things or?

He also keeps repeating the same things over and over and over

Like all of the time constantly

My almost 4 year old has gone through a lot of phases of only wanting one or the other of me and my husband, and we get the "I want to go home" whilst at home all the time! I think that's a pretty common one as meaning I'm a bit tired and had enough. Also had the suddenly waking up at random times like 0500 when he was previously a great lover of the lie in, so in conclusion I think I'd say all very normal.

Interesting!

Was dad on holiday with you? When he says he wants to go home, is it just you when he says that or is dad present also? Do you notice what he is saying when talking to himself at night?

My two kids are autistic so I have to insert a disclaimer - I have no idea what is “normal” 😉

It sounds like the holiday has unsettled him, which would explain the fixation on one parent, the talk of the “other home” (I’m guessing he means he wants to go back to the holiday accommodation?), and the repeating things over and over. The latter is definitely a sign of anxiety.

In autistic kids, I’d call it verbal stimming. Basically a way of self-soothing. Everyone stims btw, it isn’t exclusively an autistic trait.

My son talks to himself in bed as well, he’s done it for years. Again, I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag for autism but it’s certainly something my son is prone to do, as he struggles to fall asleep at the best of times.

Is there a reason why you’re concerned it’s outside of the realm of “normal”?

Yes dad was on holiday with us but he didn't have this much of an attachment
He says it regardless as to who's around to be honest. What he says at night is generally the run through of his day or what I've told him. So I'll hear things like 'i can't go to the park now because I wouldn't put my shoes on. Daddy had to go to work today. It's dark now so I have to go to bedtime' bless him it makes me sad when he talks to himself 😂

@Jellycats4life I get what you're saying don't worry I don't think you're diagnosing him haha

Holiday probably has unsettled him slightly. He is fully aware that the hotel wasn't home though. He would have said 'I want to go back to the room' if he was talking about the holiday place
He definitely seems to suddenly have this intense anxiety / fear / separation anxiety but no idea where it came from

He is very sensitive as children go

The reason I had some concern is just because how quickly his behaviour seems to have changed it's just very unlike him!

This is reassuring thank you

@febbabies2023

Oh sweet boy! Do you have a pretty regiment schedule? Has he been on holiday before? Are things back to normal at home since holiday or has something in the routine changed?

Could be holiday shook him up a bit and he is more sensitive to this change in schedule. Maybe him talking himself through his day is his way of reassuring himself that he is safe.....? 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you notice his behavior gets worse maybe consider speaking to his doctor.

@anareen he is the sweetest boy bless him, he is just so sensitive! He's got a pretty good routine yes, he's always been a kid that loves a routine and needs it. Not as much now he's a little older but everything used to have to be the same 😂
Yes he's been on holiday before! We did Florida last year when he was 2 and we did butlins for his 3rd birthday (obvs not abroad but it's still a change)
Yeah maybe the holiday has just thrown him off completely and he's struggling a little

I definitely think him talking through his day is him processing etc and just helps him wind down and be able to sleep etc

Yeah hopefully it'll resolve itself, it's more his sort of confusion which is completely new and I wasn't sure about