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Very patronising doctor

10 replies

reblev92 · 10/09/2023 00:55

I am fuming. I took my son to the doctor last week for a suspicious rash and a lot of dry skin on his scalp. His grandad and uncle have psoriasis so I suspected that and was hoping for some treatment as the dry skin lies in his head and it'll be embarrassing for him 😟. Anyway I've never seen this doctor before and we went into his room and he just sat looking at his computer, when usually I'd be asked hello what can I help you with etc etc. i felt very uncomfortable, I said 'hello' in a little voice breaking the silence. He just looked at me so I proceeded to explain he stood up with a torch (-at arms legnth) and sat back down in his chair and looked at me and said, 'I don't know who to treat here, you or him' obviously I was shook I said what do you mean? He said coming to the doctors for a dry scalp. I said I'm sorry but my son was born sick he had major heart operation at 5 weeks old and he's had numerous operations since, I take no chances with him he said 'you need to leave the past in the past, your making him worry he can sense it look at him' I said 'excuse me my son has autism and doesn't like hospitals or doctors anyway' he said 'that doesn't matter, your passing your anxiety onto him' I said I wasn't even worrying about the appointment so I don't know where your getting all this from' then he said 'I don't want to see you in here for fry scalp again' 😣 I felt so pathetic walking out silent tears rolling down my cheek. I honestly have never met a professional who is meant to have compassion and care go on the way he did it was uncalled for 😫

OP posts:
reblev92 · 10/09/2023 01:01

Even my son didn't say a word all the way home, and I'm worried it'll make him worse with doctors and hospitals, obviously i haven't mentioned it but I could tell by his silence and staring into space that he sensed something off usually the doctors engage and acknowledge him make him feel at ease but he was completely ignored, like it wasn't his appointment or like he wasn't even there and the things he was saying in front of him. My son is a thinker and he has a very good understanding but can't talk about it, struggles to explain stuff gangs happened in the past but can talk about what is going to happen, I think it's because it's explained to him on several occasions to make him aware what's about to happen whereas things that happen out of nowhere he can't process or simply doesn't want to. 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
SusanSHelit · 10/09/2023 01:06

Was this a gp? I'm a nurse and I'd be putting in a complaint. Even if your sons dry scalp was nothing to worry about it sounds like the way he spoke to you and treated your son was wholly unacceptable.

reblev92 · 10/09/2023 01:12

SusanSHelit · 10/09/2023 01:06

Was this a gp? I'm a nurse and I'd be putting in a complaint. Even if your sons dry scalp was nothing to worry about it sounds like the way he spoke to you and treated your son was wholly unacceptable.

Yeah a registered GP. I've spoken to several people form my village and it appears that most people refuse to see him now because of his attitude and lack of support and sympathy. I'm low at the moment as it is, and he made me feel so stupid. I have really bad anxiety going to the doctor in the fear I'd be accused of causing issues and making stuff up. I will never go see a doctor now after that experience. I'd rather suffer than ever feel like that again. It's written complaints only and I struggle with writing, I feel like it'd be a waste of time anyway 😳😣

OP posts:
Daisyhillsareblooming · 10/09/2023 01:15

Formal complaint to the practise manager , no way should he be allowed to get away with this behaviour. Mention that you were so upset about the way you were treated you may contact the GMC, then expect him to call and make an apology to you . My husband is a consultant and there’s no way he treat any patient like this .

Balloonsandroses · 10/09/2023 01:18

I’m a GP. No matter what he thought about the diagnosis the conversation should not have gone that way and I’m sorry. Please try as hard as you can not to let it put you off seeing GPs in the future, most of us honestly do our jobs because we care aboht people and want to help make things better, I promise. If you feel strong enough submit a complaint, maybe someone else could help you write it or just send in a copy of your post - we have to reflect on complaints and include them in our annual appraisal so there is a point in doing it. But don’t feel you have to do it.
Sending hugs

curaçao · 10/09/2023 01:33

Yes he was very rude, but I have to say when I was reading your op I was thinking the same thing as the doctor.

reblev92 · 10/09/2023 01:33

curaçao · 10/09/2023 01:33

Yes he was very rude, but I have to say when I was reading your op I was thinking the same thing as the doctor.

What do you mean?

OP posts:
reblev92 · 10/09/2023 01:45

Balloonsandroses · 10/09/2023 01:18

I’m a GP. No matter what he thought about the diagnosis the conversation should not have gone that way and I’m sorry. Please try as hard as you can not to let it put you off seeing GPs in the future, most of us honestly do our jobs because we care aboht people and want to help make things better, I promise. If you feel strong enough submit a complaint, maybe someone else could help you write it or just send in a copy of your post - we have to reflect on complaints and include them in our annual appraisal so there is a point in doing it. But don’t feel you have to do it.
Sending hugs

I'm going to do it so nobody else has this experience 🥺 no matter what anybody is going through you show compassion and kindness towards them, he made me feel worthless and a bad mother if I'm honest I was starting to think I was causing my ds anxiety the whole time and lost sleep for a few days over it. Because I blamed myself for him being born poorly so it brought it all back. I'm ok though

OP posts:
reblev92 · 10/09/2023 01:47

What makes it worse also is this isn't my lifetime doctor surgery I moved 5 years ago and was told I could no longer use my family GP. Devastated because they're all I've known I didn't understand because I'm only 10 minutes away 🥺🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
Safxxx · 10/09/2023 02:02

Since others are complaining about him too you're not alone... You should definitely put in a complaint, it needs addressing.
He should not be allowed to treat his patients like that.
Meantime try some coconut oil on his scalp ok look for some natural remedies online.
Don't let this incident deter you from future doctor visits, just don't choose to see him ever again.

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